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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Three year old DD hates loud noise - just left a party in tears again

42 replies

Allegrogirl · 30/05/2011 15:57

My DD is 3.7 and has always been sensitive to loud noise. We've just been to a birthday party where we didn't even make it through the door due to the noise. At a party a few months ago she became hysterical when a few balloons were burst. Very upset at a local jazz festival a few weeks ago as there was a band playing. Lots of examples of fun days out being ruined by a noise setting her off.

She's usually very confident and goes to a big pre-school in the nursery near where I work which she loves. She complains that her ears hurt, so it's pain rather than fear/shyness. We've got a wedding tomorrow and I'm wondering if we should not bother going.

There is a history of hearing problems in DH's family and although he loves concerts he struggles to hear speech in noisy places. He can't distinguish different sounds in loud places.

So, wait for her to grow out of it? Avoid noisy situations (was hoping to go to family friendly festival this Summer, maybe not)? Plug her ears with cotton wool? Some sleb offspring festival ear defenders maybe?

Or just tell me yours did this and it got better (hopeful).

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Lady1nTheRadiator · 30/05/2011 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tgger · 30/05/2011 18:48

Well, my DS had to go out of the room at a 4 year old's party when some ballooons were burst- he hates it (he was also just 4 at the time).

However, he is getting slowly better (4.5 now) and will tolerate a lot more these days- his reaction is still there but modified. Instead of bursting into tears he will put his hands over his ears these days/moan about whatever it is he doesn't like. Same with hand driers in toilets, they used to have him in tears but now he'll just get out the toilet as soon as poss!

If in any doubt I'd get her hearing checked but I think quite a few of this age group don't like loud noise and it's pretty sensible really (!), hopefully like my DS her reaction will be more manageable in time.

allhailtheaubergine · 30/05/2011 18:51

Get her hearing checked.

My dd had glue ear. The pressure on the ear drum was all wrong so loud noises were very painful for her.

She had gromets and that foxed the problem for her.

Take your dd to the doctor.

nicevideoshameaboutthesong · 30/05/2011 18:52

Autism springs to mind.

NickNacks · 30/05/2011 18:54

Same as Tgger above.

DS2 is now 4.10 and doesn't cry anymore but will stand with his hands over his ears and slowly but surely getting better.

When I took him to the doc just to make sure all was well... he said that as humans we have 2 natural fears when we are born (ie its instinct rather than behaviour) and they are loud noises and falling. All there to protect us and we eventually get used to what are harmful loud warning sounds and noises which are fine.

tribpot · 30/05/2011 18:54

Mine did this - and it got better. Many, many a party at which we had to leave early because it got too noisy - in fact it's only been since he turned 5, if not 5.5, that he's really been able to enjoy noisy parties.

Sam100 · 30/05/2011 18:55

My DS is similar - also hates vacuum cleaners, hand driers, car alarms going off, disco music, shop music etc.

As far as birthday parties go I have found best thing is to arrive a bit early before music etc starts and sit at the back while he gets used to it.

Given that she says it is painful I would get her ears checked though.

NickNacks · 30/05/2011 18:55

OFGS nicevideo !!!

Pagwatch · 30/05/2011 18:55

Actually I would not think autism but auditory processing problems.

Go and ask about auditory processing on special needs.

Ds2 has huge problems with noise . He cannot filter background noise and loud noise can be unbearable. He actually does have asd too but it can be a separate issue.

Op - go and ask about this in the sn section. It is a thing - inability to cope with noise.

bilblio · 30/05/2011 19:13

My DD is 3.10, she's fine with playing sounds like children screeching etc, probably because she's joining in, but she really hates the hoover, and sudden noises like fireworks.

We were giving the house a thorough spring clean yesterday and she spent most of the day whimpering in the corner hiding from the hoover, so I went on ebay and got her to choose her own colour ear defenders. I'd been considering it for some time because we go to a lot of festivals, and I LOVE bonfire night and fireworks... and she's my excuse for going.
Shop around, the ones I found were £10.99 came in a range of colours and are suitable from 0-7.

DH says he was the same at her age too, he has absolutely no problems with his hearing, in fact he's a pitch perfect musician. I however had loads of ear trouble as a kid but never minded loud noises. It's still worth getting her hearing checked though to rule anything out. We haven't had DD's done yet, but only because she's due to have it done in a few months anyway.

lljkk · 30/05/2011 19:25

I'm not autistic but I really don't like loud noise, even now I put something in my ears for the children's discos (stupidly too loud, obviously too loud and going to damage the hearing of some, sigh).
I do think I have APD, though, and I have lost a little hearing in last few years (in my early 40s).

I'm more impressed your 3yo got invited to 2 parties already.

Original poster

Allegrogirl · 30/05/2011 20:37

Lots of helpful posts here. Much appreciated. Glad to hear some DCs have got better with age. Lots of similar experiences too.

I may take DD to the GPs just to get her checked out. I'll look into auditory processing problems. This sounds like what DH might have too. I think I'll get some of those ear defenders and try them out before taking her to the festival later this Summer.

nicevideo why would autism spring to mind? I don't think for a minute that is the issue. DD is gregarious and generally at ease in social situations. She enjoys imaginative play on her own and with others.

Is the GP the best route to getting her hearing checked?

OP posts:

Original poster

Allegrogirl · 30/05/2011 20:48

Just looked up APD and this doesn't describe DH apart from the bit about not coping with conversations in noisy bars and clubs. He can't focus when there is more than one source of noise. Is there a name for that? He is 40 and he does appear to be experiencing some hearing loss.

OP posts:

MavisEnderby · 30/05/2011 20:53

Hi do you think your daughter could have hyperacuisis?(sp) .Own dd is learning disabled and Hates loud noises ie handdryers,fireworks,loud music etc.I have no solution but it may be worth posting in SN or starting a thread about hyperacuisis

WellIShouldNever · 30/05/2011 20:56

nicevideoshameaboutthesong - jumping the gun are we? Think so...

Don't worry to much, my boy hated any noise until about 6 months ago.. (he is nearly 6)

But if you are worried, get her checked out by your GP.

greencolorpack · 30/05/2011 20:58

My ds has Asperger's Syndrome and when he was little he couldn't cope with the noise at parties at all, or the anarchic behaviour and the different social setting, so I felt at peace just saying no to party invitations until he was older. He avoided parties for a few years between being about 3 and being 7 or 8. Now he doesn't mind at all, and went to a disco the other day and loved it (I think).

If you are having your life impeded because of her, how about buying her the latest fashion in earphones? They are the big fat ones that cover your whole ears. Perhaps that would muffle the noise out. If she could get used to wearing them, and reading a book or something while you enjoy the music festival, that might work.

MavisEnderby · 30/05/2011 20:59

It is spelled hyperacusis!!!Also think that the poster who said autism is somewhat jumping the gun.Hyperacusis can affect those with no other health issues but in dd case is tied up with her disabilities.

CarGirl · 30/05/2011 21:03

I think it is APD, you do inherit it! It could also be retained morro reflex (very jumpy and sensitive and ofter a poor sleeper/relaxer) or indeed both.

More info & treatments here

johansenias.com/

www.inpp.org.uk/questions/index.php

I've had one of my dds treated for APD issues and 2 of the others for retained reflexes, happy to answer questions.

Pagwatch · 30/05/2011 21:11

Allegrogirl
I think nicevideo suggested autism as auditory problems, and inability to cope with noise and sensory overload ( noise, lights, crowds) is very common with children with asd.

It wasn't an bizarre suggestion but was massively premature without any other symptoms or behaviours. But equally autism is not an insult or an accusation.

Original poster

Allegrogirl · 30/05/2011 21:17

Lots of food for thought from people here. I was wondering I'd be told not to worry and that DD would just grow out of it, but appears it may be a 'thing' after all, particularly given family history.

cargirl both DDs rubbish at daytime sleep with any distractions around but sleep well at night. Looked at your links and not much of it seems to apply although DD is only 3.

greencolorpack I wouldn't go so far to say that life is being impeded, I just felt sad for DD that she couldn't join her friends at the party because she was in pain from the noise. Also missing fireworks and local events where there is live music is a shame as she is generally outgoing and likes to join in with whatever is going on.

mavisenerby I had a quick look at Hyperacusis. A possibility I think. Some of these things have scared me a little bit.

Fingers crossed for a diagnosis of 'one of those things she'll grow out of'.

OP posts:

Original poster

Allegrogirl · 30/05/2011 21:18

Sorry *

OP posts:

Original poster

Allegrogirl · 30/05/2011 21:20

Whoops.

Sorry Pagwatch I didn't mean to suggest that autism is an insult, it just seemed a leap from 'my DD hates loud noise' to 'Autism springs to mind'. Maybe I'm reassuring myself?

OP posts:

CarGirl · 30/05/2011 21:26

I would def get your dh to look at APD, I have it mildly and often watch the TV with subtitles on as I particularly struggle with low pitched speech and as for noisy backgrounds - it sends me semi insane

My dd who was treated with johansen sound therapy had flat hearing rather than a lovely curve, for her the low pitches were too sensitive and she was virtually hearing impaired for the high frequencies - if your dd has over sensitive hearing it would literally make her ears hurt and johansen would help/cure it. My dd passed 2 NHS hearing tests yet her hearing was so abnormal and close to hearing impaired she never should have done, she ended up with severe speech delay because of it, fortunately all now sorted out.

DreamTeamGirl · 30/05/2011 21:27

Another whose child only grew ... well not out of it, but better at coping since 5.5 onwards. No idea how many 'Disco' parties we spent in the hall outside prior to that

The headphones are a great idea. DS coped SO well with Bestival with them to fall back on, but actually took them off within 5 mins of arriving at the arena each time

greencolorpack · 30/05/2011 21:28

Yes, that is a shame for your little girl.

I meant no offence myself mentioning Asperger's, just as a background to my ds, he suffered from sensory overload. He has grown out of a lot of his AS problems, and is now getting on just fine without any help in a mainstream school.

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