Three year old DD hates loud noise - just left a party in tears again

[Allegrogirl]

My DD is 3.7 and has always been sensitive to loud noise. We've just been to a birthday party where we didn't even make it through the door due to the noise. At a party a few months ago she became hysterical when a few balloons were burst. Very upset at a local jazz festival a few weeks ago as there was a band playing. Lots of examples of fun days out being ruined by a noise setting her off.

She's usually very confident and goes to a big pre-school in the nursery near where I work which she loves. She complains that her ears hurt, so it's pain rather than fear/shyness. We've got a wedding tomorrow and I'm wondering if we should not bother going.

There is a history of hearing problems in DH's family and although he loves concerts he struggles to hear speech in noisy places. He can't distinguish different sounds in loud places.

So, wait for her to grow out of it? Avoid noisy situations (was hoping to go to family friendly festival this Summer, maybe not)? Plug her ears with cotton wool? Some sleb offspring festival ear defenders maybe?

Or just tell me yours did this and it got better (hopeful).

hmm, my dd was and is very senstive to noise, and senstive to many things. Have just read a book about sensitive kids.

get her hearing checked firstly. My dd couldn't stand it if a loud car went by, and her senses were overloaded at parties etc...

greencolorpack no offence taken at all. I'm glad to hear you DS is getting on well both at school and at parties now.

noooo allegrogirl

I didn't think you were implying anything insulting.

I just meant that nicevideo probably raised autism prematurely but, saying " maybe autism" would not strike everyone as a bad thing to suggest.

The thing is that a child who has an issue to do with behaviour is the same as a child who may have an illness. But we are wary of contemplating behavioural issues. It feels huge doesn't it?

But a problem with processing noise is something that loads of people just learn how to work around. Try not to fret. But do investigate as it means you can then find ways to help your dd.
And it may be something she grows out of.

I haven't worded this very well but I hope it makes sense

Think it is quite common, my friends dd was exactly the same at that age and she has got better as shes got older (now aged 5). Def get at ENT ref from your gp.

Genuine question,are hyperacusis and auditory processing disorder different?(sorry for stupidity)

this is very interesting. i would say my DS goes into 'sensory overload' at times. we went into waxwork display - so it was dark, there were neon lights - and that was ok. then there was loud music. and he absolutely could NOT cope. he freaked, stuffed his fingers in his ears and panicked. he is 4.10. he is the loudest child i know though - so shrieking, shouting etc is fine. it is very loud music or other distorted noise that he can't cope with. DD (aged 2) has no such problems.

i assumed it was 'just one of those things' since it doesn't really affect day to day life. but it does mean he hates disco parties etc (fortunately - being a boy, there aren't too many of those just yet)

oh and DS had loads of ear infections as a kid but no treatment for them other than anti-bios

Yes Pagwatch it does feel huge. DD has always been the confident one. Me and DH were shy as children so we were delighted to see our little girl so at ease with other children. We are starting to realise that she can be very sensitive in many ways and that can be hard to deal with.

I will got the the GP, out local surgery is brilliant, and take it from there.

Time for bed. Losing the will to spell.

Your DD does sound very similar to my son. He was also on the surface of things very sociable and confident. However he is/was also shy and very sensitive at times and is learning to deal with this side of himself now.

I could give you lots and lots of examples. A good one is that he loves theatre/live shows, but when we first took him (he was 3 and 2 months) he found it incredibly difficult just to go into the theatre, the lights were almost too much for him, and the whole experience almost overwhelmed him. He spent the whole of the first half (once inside the theatre) with his head in DH's lap and often his hands over his ears. Gradually he peeked out a bit and started to feel more at ease and went on to enjoy the show. In fact he didn't just enjoy it, it really excited him and he spent ages afterwards playing bits from it. Since then we've been back several times and each time he's got gradually more confident. He's now 4.5 and a seasoned theatre goer (kids shows!) who participates fully in the show -shouting out etc- and loves it.

Perhaps your little girl isn't so different from you and DH- her "shyness" in some situations is coming out in this way. Certainly get her hearing checked but then if she seems normal I would relax about it, support her in these situations/reassure and she will like a lot of the kids on this thread get a lot better at handling the noise etc as she gets a bit older.

By the way your DH sounds like my Dad who is deaf- it is a common part to deafness, not being able to hear conversation well in noisy rooms/background noise.

I second getting her checked out for glue ear. My DS1 has it and was much the same as you describe.

We went to a wedding yesterday which I was dreading due to hysteria from DD at the last one we went to when the organ started playing. It was a small church and the organ wasn't too loud and she fine. Crowds of people she'd never met and unfamiliar surroundings not a problem.

I'll take her to the GP as this has made me more certain it's actually types of noise rather than overwhelming situations that upset her.

Many thanks for all your helpful posts.

DT2 (10) is like this and was at that age too. Same as your DD, crowds not a problem but different types of noise is. Its seems to be certain pitches of sounds. Some although quite loud dont bother him as much but others he finds difficult. He has recently been diagnosed with having auditory processing and sensory difficulties. He finds it difficult to filter out backround noise and has difficulties with following oral instructions. I'm sorry that I didnt push for earlier intervention or at least intervention of a different nature so I would recommend getting her checked out. I know though that when DT2 was that age there were a few others at parties that had to leave the room when balloons popped or there was loud music and they grew out of it. Having said that I always knew that DT2's reaction was not usual toddler behaviour. Maybe it was because I could see that there were a number of issues. If Dt1 had had an issue with noise (and he did have glue ear) I wouldnt have worried because it would have been just one thing.

Just on the glue ear thing I found it very easy to distinguish between a child that had hearing problems due to glue ear and one that had "listening problems" I always knew that DT2's hearing was not impacted, in fact the opposite was true. And although both glue ear and APD can give rise to doing things like " not picking up all words in a sentence/ mistaking cat for bat which both boys did, it was always obvious to me that it was the glue ear that caused this problem for DT1 whereas its a processing issue for DT2

One of mine has always been sensitive to noise, smell, light (eyes) etc. You get the picture. No diagnosis just sensitive (and complains a bit) so all going good.

My eldest hated loud noise - we couldn't use hand dryers, she cried at fireworks, parties were a minefield. I can't remember when exactly she grew out of it but she's 11 now and fine with noise - we took her to a rock concert last summer with no problem. Could just be one of those things

I'd get her checked to rule out any physical problems like glue ear or hearing impairment first. If that's not an issue and she still has difficulties coping with noise in particular situations, it may then be worth investigating possible sensory / processing issues.