A few people have mentioned my DS's development - HELP

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He has just turned 2 and over the last month 3 separate people have mentioned his development.

His key worker at nursery has mentioned on a couple of occasions that he never talks there. He goes one day a week. He says about 5 words consistently - car, ball, more, mummy and his older sisters name. She says he doesn't interact well and won't acknowledge adults talking to him. I have noticed this but put it down to him being shy. He literally will not look up at them when they call him or talk to him.

He loves cars and will spend most of his time putting them in a long line across the floor. He gets very upset if the other children take one.

This last week he has get really upset when I've had to get him undressed. He won't let me pull up his t-shirts and holds on to them etc. Once I've wrestled them off he tries pulling them back on and clings to them. He calms down once he has a new one on but I don't understand what this is about.

He's also started crying at bedtime which has never been an issue before. He's always settled himself well. At first I though it was just the lighter evenings confusing him but now I'm not sure.

Should I be concerned and what should my next step be? Haven't seen a HV in a year - the clinics changed, the area boundaries are now different so I don't know who mine is now... Or go to the GP's?

I don't know whether you should be concerned or not - hopefully someone with actual knowledge will be along shortly - but just to reassure you, my DS did the tshirt thing at a similar age and also the lining up of cars. He is still quite methodical in his car play but when he'd just turned two, lining them up was his absolute favourite thing and he was very put out if the line was disturbed.

How do you feel about your son's development? Although he's not saying much, do you feel confident that he understands what is being said? Again, my DS at just-two said hardly any words but it was obvious he understood what we were saying to him (responding to simple instructions, pointing etc.). Now he is 2.7yo and never shuts up

Thanks EasterEgg :o Good to hear about the cars!

And, I do feel he understands me. He will get things like his shoes if I ask him or find his water cup.

I'm just getting concerned as other people have mentioned these things.

As a nursery nurse, I would have concerns about a child that didn't respond to being spoken to. The lack of speech would not bother me as much, because a lot of communication is non-verbal.
How does he react when you speak to him? Does he look at you? Does he understand what you are saying? Does he respond? Do you think he can hear properly? I would suggest a hearing teat to rule out any issues there.

There are a few things you can do.
You can make an appointment with your GP and ask for a hearing test, explaining that the nursery has raised concerns.

You can phone the health visitor/make an appointment and ask for her advice.

You can ask the nursery SENCO for advice. They can make observations over a period of time that can be useful to spot any potential issues.

You can ask the nursery to let you see his development file- they should be doing continious observations and assessment on his development. They should ahve an idea of where he is up to and where he should be up to.

It's hard to know when to know if to swing into action regarding your own child and development.

I have a 2 yr old who when a few months old had us at neurologists etc. So I know how hard it is to face the possibilities of problems. It's a rollercoaster.

Out of nursery what is his vocabulary like? How does he get himself understood? If his vocabulary at home is alright - then it's possibly his relationship with nursery. 1 day a week for some kids can mean they don't settle easy.

I think I'd chat to the HV or/and Dr, see what they reckon.

My 2 yr old hit the age of 2 just grunting. Then he started talking and is now unstoppable to the amazement of his nursery.

Keep up your relationship with the keyworker at nursery, a good one will be of good support.

Thanks Purepurple.

I'll speak to the nursery next week about his file - he's only been going a month so I don't know how full it will be.

I think his hearing is ok. He can hear the rustle of a biscuit wrapper at 50 metres it seems!

He does look at me when I'm talking to him but sometimes he'll barely acknowledge anyone, he just seems absorbed in what he's doing.

I think I'll try and track down my HV and see what they say.

Is it a normal thing for children to get obsessive/repetitive at 2?

Thanks Pancake :)

His vocab at home is about 5 words. He's isn't very talkative ie babbling.

I haven't wanted to look into any possible problems - google is not your friend at times like these :( I have had my own concerns but tried not to dwell on them as I thought I was just comparing his big sister development to his when all children are different etc.

Yes, totally normal for children to be obsessive/repetitive. It's how they learn-by doing the same thing over and over, making connections and consolidating.
If he has only been there a month, then he is still settling in. Children who only do one day a week find it harder to settle than children who are full time. Some children just find transistions hard.
I would just give him a bit more time. You can help ease his transition worries by building up a good relationship with his key person. If he sees that you like her and talk to her it will help him develop his relationship with her.
A good nursery nurse will be letting him settle in at his own pace and not be putting any pressure on him to speak at nursery.
I am sure he will feel more settled soon, in the mean time let them now at nursery about his likes and interests so that they can plan for him and hopefully engage him.

I hope you're right Purepurple. He seems happy at nursery. Never cries when I leave him. Just goes to the car box and starts his mission to line them all up!

His keyworker is lovely and we chat well so I'll keep that up. I don't think she's putting pressure on him to talk - just trying to engage him in the activities.

Hopefully he'll settle in more.

very difficult to say if this is normal or not but you seem to be concerned yourself I assume (otherwise you would not post here). talk to your GP or HV. do they do the 2 year check up in your area??

I would ask the GP to do the CHAT assessment (checklist for autism in toddlers)just for reassurance tbh purely because lack of speech more especially babble, transition difficulties, interaction difficulties, repetitive behaviours can be attributed to autism spectrum disorder

My DS (2.1) is very similar to your DS. When he turned 2 he probably only had about 5 words (has added to them quite a bit in the last month), and didn't seem to want to learn any IYSWIM. He also does the t-shirt thing, and has recently started being really unsettled at bedtime.

However, if you have a gut feeling that he maybe isn't as communicative in other ways, then it may be worth seeing a GP/HV to put your mind at rest.

I'd go and talk to your hv or gp even if just to put your mind at rest although it does sound a little concerning.

If he has only being going for a month, and one session a week I wouldnt worry about that side yet. Give him longer to settle in and if in 6 months he still isnt interacting then reassess.

My nephew is a similar age and does the car thing!

my ds sounds a lot like yours at that age.

he's 3.2 now and his speech is still mostly babble (speech therapist not too concerned) but has lots of recognisable words now compared to a few months ago. he never would respond much to people either if he was busy but is a right gas bag now, even if most of it is babbling.

he still lines his cars up and has a right strop if dd goes anywhere near them and we get stropsabout getting undressed.

tbh it never occured to me to be concerned about it, except the speech delay, it seemed normal toddler behavior.

Whilst I agree a visit to the GP/HV is a good idea for your peace of mind; I would like to offer some comfort by telling you my ds (12) did not speak at all untill 26 months and then not sentences untill almost 3 years.

When he started nursery I was asked if he spoke at all? (he was 30 months) as he hadn't replied to them.

He has been ( and still is to some extent) obsessive over cars; lining them all up was his absolute favourite thing when he was a toddler.

When he was that age he would not go anywhere without a hat, sometimes carrying one as well as wearing one.

Well he's not perfect and at 12 is giving me the usual puberty related worries, BUT he is completely normal and he does well at school.

These things can be signs of something untoward or just as easily they just be part of his little personality.

You know I get a bit fed up with the posters who jump on the Autism bandwagon, the minute any traits are mentioned.

It is quite normal for toddlers to be repetitive and I know my ds lined up cars for years.

Of course if you are worried talk to the appropiate professionals. But at the end of the day in most cases Autism is a pervasive developmental disorder. There is no need to alarm people because their children display some 'traits'.

No doubt I will get flamed for this. No autism is not the worst thing that can happen to a child, but any loving mother worries that her child may have problems that will cause them difficulties in their life. It can worry people unduly to suggest autism based on such limited information and I think mumsnet is bad for this.

I have been given this kind of feedback about my DS who is 2.8 too from his nursery. I wonder if it's the same one

e.g. He blows raspberries and does Red Indian war whoops during circle time and won't stop when asked.
e.g He gets very upset if he has to take his Dinosaur shoes off for any reason.
e.g. He only wants to do playdough at plan-do-review time

From what you have said, he really doesn't sound off the scale.

I personally feel my child is a genius and any difficulties are the nursery's failure to stimulate him appropriately. Obviously he is my PFB (perfect first born)

but having said all that, you sound worried so having a chat with the nursery and your GP sounds a good plan.

sounds like you'd feel better if he was assessed or pre assessed by a professional. getting things checked out wont make him more or less likely to be asd if thats what you're worried about but it might do you good to talk it over.

a friends ds (same age) is like this and already seeing a ST. ST thinks its about his anxiety and not asd or a physical problem.

fwiw the little girl next door to me was worse than that until quite recently - no words/smiles/eye contact and cried all the time but sometime after 2 she just changed and caught up with her sister who is the most gregarious child ever.

As the mother of a child with a speech delay, maybe it would be no harm to get it checked out. If the experts see that there is no problem then happy days, but if there is some work needed then at least he is in the system.

Gotta say, he doesn't sound too bad but a professional opinion would do him no harm IMO.

I agree with Triton, talk of autism is premature but a visit to HV would be good just because of the limited speech development, and you can describe him thoroughly in other respects too then.

I have 3 ds's and there development has all been so so different. Ds1 has ADHD and yet was the one who seemed most "normal" as a toddler. You say you have some concerns and the nursery has others so it may be worth speaking to your GP or HV but they do all develope at very different rates.

shineoncrazydaisy I have a similar situation with a friend of mine - how did you initiate the conversation??