Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

When to start considering there is something 'different' about your child?

48 replies

rachelmummy · 23/04/2011 21:17

My 20MO DD speaks in sentences (not just repeated words - if we are driving in the car and we stop, she will say 'mummy, the car has stopped' 'Where are we going mummy' 'no, I don't want to go to the swings, I want to feed quak quaks' 'please can we feed the quak quaks' - these are just examples today), counts (again, not just repeating numbers... I mean, she can count.. If you ask her 1+2, she will tell you 3. Today she counted the legs on a (picture) spider and said '6' (the correct answer).

She knows all of her letters (can sound them without prompting) and is excellent at drawing (she will draw a 'ceegle' (circle) or square or - actually anything you want!!... She (of her own accord) pointed out a walrus in her play animals today...

My DS (same age, they are twins) is nowhere near and I've been worried he's been behind (he sees speech therapist which is helping).. but my DD seems so... well.... advanced. And, I'm beginning to wonder whether I should be looking at ways to make sure she is fulfilled, as well as DS.

OP posts:

Original poster

rachelmummy · 23/04/2011 21:18

And when I say 'pointed out' I mean she said 'Look, mummy, a walrus'... and went out to name the dolphin, shark, whale and octopus...

OP posts:

nickschick · 23/04/2011 21:21

Sees a ST at 20 months???
Recognises a walrus??? definitely genius material ......

whomovedmychocolate · 23/04/2011 21:21

I'm not sure what you are asking - both children are different and learn differently, your DS is probably physically more precocious and your DD verbally so, that's entirely normal. They all even out eventually.

Don't worry about enrichment, for toddlers, just walking down the road is a massive learning experience (which is why it takes two hours to do a mile!)

Sirzy · 23/04/2011 21:22

I think all children are different and learn things at there own pace, I would just make sure she carries on enjoying learning and encourage her to do so. It could well be that in another year your two los have "levelled out" anyway.

DS is 17 months and has learnt how to count to 10 but doesnt do and say things other children his age can do.

I think at this age its important not to push them to much, just gentle encouragement and making sure they have fun doing what they enjoy doing.

valiumbandwitch · 23/04/2011 21:25

Don't be too quick to cast your dd in the role of genius and your son as the less bright twin. I knew somebody with a dd close to my son's age and until about four she was miles ahead. NOT SO any more, in any way.

So try not to make up your mind about what they will be like.

Also, just discovering the World is stimulating for a 20month old surely!?

lovecheese · 23/04/2011 21:40

Agree with all posters.

just so that you can compare a little, my 7 year-old wasn't potty-trained till she was nearly 5, still had a dummy, and a bottle, BUT is very bright in year 2 and will probably always be ahead academically. Don't put the other twin down, sibling rivalry is awful.

winnybella · 23/04/2011 21:44

Speech therapist at 20 months? Why? Who's a quack that's taking your money?

Your DD does sound very bright, but there's nothing to do but to let her be a child at the moment. In a few years you'll see whether she's exeptionally bright or not and you can think of providing extra stimulation etc.

winnybella · 23/04/2011 21:47

Oh, and btw, DD could draw perfect faces at 18mo, with eyes with irises, ears, nose, mouth etc. She can do jigsaw puzzles for 5yo. She's 26mo. BUT, tbh, I very much doubt she's a genius - she just got some stuff earlier than other kids, but I'm sure it will all even out later.

LadyInTheRadiat0r · 23/04/2011 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dikkertjedap · 23/04/2011 23:10

Well intelligence is normally distributed, this means that almost one out of two children is above average and almost one out of two children is below average. Given how young they are I would not worry either way, just lots of play and fun.

alligatorpurse · 24/04/2011 08:47

Your dd sounds like mine was at the same age - using full grammatical sentences, counting with 1 to 1 correspondence to objects (as opposed to reeling off 1 to 10 by rote) up to 30 or more, knew colours, could colour within lines, do a 40 piece puzzle etc etc. She's now 10, a bright girl doing very well at school but not way ahead of her peers. Obviously your dd might indeed be gifted but there are many kinds of intelligence and I think a lot of my dd's early advanced ability came from her incredible computer-like memory. She still relies on her memory a lot and it's becoming more apparent that she actually struggles with tasks where she has to come up with ideas herself. My ds on the other hand could not have been more different - he has struggled with all the "basics" - reading, maths etc - but is really coming into his own now that his creative side can come out a bit more. They are just different.

As for giving her what she needs, if she's anything like my dd she will "demand" what she needs, constantly, exhaustingly! I used to watch other people's dcs just kind of pottering about and wish dd would do that sometimes! I loved that she seemed so switched on but I have honestly had to "train" her to play on her own and not expect constant entertainment.

She is also a perfectionist, another issue we are facing as she gets older. I think when a child is advanced early on, everything comes easily to them and they find it really hard the first time they fail at something.

Prunnhilda · 24/04/2011 08:51

DS didn't really speak much bar the odd word until 27m, and then with the normal t/d mix-ups etc. Why is your ds seeing a SALT at 20m?

Firawla · 24/04/2011 10:05

she doesn't sound that much out of the ordinary, there is a wide range of normal..

Kentwood · 24/04/2011 14:05

I think you should concentrate less on what your dd can do and leave her to it tbh.

My ds could count and recognise colours, recognise letters, draw shapes, put enormous paragraphs of speech together from 18 months however, he's now nearly 4 and absolutely of average intellegence and ability for his age group. Just beause a child learns something earlier does not mean they will always be ahead. It doesn't matter whether a child learns to read at 2 or 7, by age 8 they'll all be a similar level anyway so why lumber her with expectations?

MadameSin · 24/04/2011 16:12

rachel which of your children are you talking about in the OP?

MadameSin · 24/04/2011 16:13

Sorry .. meant - talking about in the title of the post?

SofaQueen · 24/04/2011 16:21

I'd chill. Both children sound completely within the normal range to me.

greencaveman · 24/04/2011 16:24

I have a DS and a DD although they are not twins. My DD was similar to your DD at that age and my DS just had a handful of single words at that same age. Since your twins are 20 months, I'd let them be personally, unless one of them seems unhappy.

whomovedmychocolate · 24/04/2011 18:35

DS has superhuman hearing and can hear a packet of crisps being opened from three rooms away. Should I hot house him?

ragged · 24/04/2011 20:24

OP, where do you live?

heliumballoons · 24/04/2011 20:37

Your DD sounds interested in learning with a good vocab.

Your DS sounds a normal 20 month old.

Neither is wrong and neither is right.

And both will be their own person. Would you have the same concerns if there was a 2 year age gap? So say you had you DS first -would he still be having speech therapy at 20 months?

Tgger · 24/04/2011 23:13

Sounds normal, and I wouldn't treat either of them in any "special" way other than loving them and enjoying them.

Also, remember that however bright children are, emotionally generally they stay at the same path of development and this can be just as important as all the "academic" stuff.

Let them be- they are very good indeed at finding their own stimulation and asking for what they need if you let them

thisisyesterday · 24/04/2011 23:22

OP, you will find that if you post on mumsnet about your apparently very bright child you will ALWAYS get a vast amount of responses saying "oh, it's just normakl, there is nothing special about your child". take it with a pinch of salt

i'd say your daughter does sound very advanced for her age. your son is probably completely in line with his development, but seems less so as your daughter is more advanced?

my advice would be simply to let them develop at their own rates. Your son will do everything in his own time and as others have said, you need to try very hard NOT to compare them or cast them in any kind of role.

just go with the flow. if your daughter likes counting and drawing then do that with her, that's all she needs at this age
if she is still ahead of her peers when she reaches school age then that's obviously something you will talk to her teachers about and ensure her needs are met

TurtlesAreRetroRight · 24/04/2011 23:27

Your children sound lovely. DD sounds bright but on a normal spectrum. I think personality makes a huge difference. DD was exactly the same. Speaking fluently at 18 months, maths and excellent drawing well before 2. but she enjoyed it and pursued it avidly. It does even out in the end.

Wonderfully, most bright children- in particular the actually gifted- are very good at self teaching/stimulating/entertaining. You just introduce them to the world. The possibilities are endless.

Enjoy them. Both of them. Play games. Laugh. Run around. This bit's really good fun.

And if you're thinking more about how to prepare for a more formal setting like preschool in a year or so or something like that, it's nothing to do with reading/writing. Self care, independence, sharing, putting on shoes/coats etc. The rest takes care of itself. But you've got a while yet.

Just enjoy it. Go to the park. It's lovely out there atm.

TurtlesAreRetroRight · 24/04/2011 23:28

By 'even out in the end' I don't mean that your dd won't remain bright, possibly even remarkably so but I meant between your twins it will even out.

Flip

1 2