I think there should be a bloody support group for parents of 3 year olds

[Limelight]

It's like DS woke up a couple of months ago as a completely different person.

'Trying' incidents today:

1. Complete refusal to even consider wearing any clothes. I mean, would genuinely have been very happy if I'd agreed to send him to pre-school in the buff.

2. Running out into the road.

3. Massive screaming kicking throwing things level tantrum because I'd dared suggest we go out with his friends to a club he normally loves. Because the children are naughty and it's all soggy. Apparently. Needless to say we didn't go because by the time he'd calmed down it was too late. So he had another massive tantrum because he couldn't go.

4. Massive sulk because a kid he didn't know decided to play on the wrong slide. Apparently.

5. Complete refusal to eat the dinner he helped me make because it had (completely imaginary) green bits in it. I wouldn't mind except it's normally one of his favourites.

Now admittedly he's very recently had chicken pox and is still a little irritable but when I think about it, he's been like this for a few months. I also have a 10wo DD which isn't helping. He loves her but is not hugely happy with DH and I for changing his life.

Totally exhausted. Going for a bath and a lie down.

Ds has been fantastic for 2 days..............I am hoping it will last the week!

He too likes to pee in the garden instead of the toilet. He did it at a friends party the other day oh the shame.

Oh "grass wees" the ultimate joy for DD!! She has been known to charge out the house rather than to the loo

I'm just delighted it's not in her frigging pants!

This thread is really making me feel better!

What a timely thread! DS1 and me both ended up in tears today, as I had to leave him at playgroup whilst I went home to get the car, as he was in full on screaming and kicking mode and I had DS2 in buggy. I couldn't physically have restrained him, got him home and also walk the buggy. One of the other mums looked after him for 10 minutes whilst I came back with car.

The tantrum cause? Because I asked him to go to the loo (he was hotfooting around, desperate for a wee). He refused to go.

Very very embarrassing. I threatened him that if he didn't at least try for a wee (after 10 minutes of refusing to go), we would leave playgroup before singing time. We left before singing time. V embarrassing. I got so many of those 'poor you' sympathy looks.

This is making me feel so much better. My 3.4 yo DD has turned horrendous!!!! Is it just a 3 year old thing? She doesn't turn 4 til December and that is such a long way to go. I'm shattered, and feel like I'm constantly at war. I need a day off!

Hi OmShantiJack What did nursery say - that he was quiet/shy? DS1 was like that til Sept when the bigger toddlers at nursery left to go to school, I think he was abit intimidated by them and he grew in confidence (problem now is he's got abit too big for his boots ) since he moved up the 'pecking order' as such. Now he never shuts up and is often the instigator of naughtiness at nursery now

Oh I am so joining this support group!

My DD (3.4yo) can be like Jekyll and Hyde - some times, on good moments (it would be a stretch to say days!) she can be sweet and affectionate and very funny - but on her bad days, she can be a little devil!

I say it with a smile now, but many times she has almost reduced me to tears and our battles can be horrendous - and all for the most ridiculous things. Yesterday, she wanted a cup of water when coming back from nursery - unfortunately, she also wanted to ride on her scooter, carry her bag, and carry some tiny bit of blu-tack she had picked up from nursery - all at the same time! And she wouldn't let me help her - her insistence on doing everything by herself can be a nightmare in itself! Anyway, we had a total meltdown in the street which cumulated with her just sitting on the pavement clutching her cup of water and blu-tack as if her life depended on it - whilst bawling her eyes out - cue many many tutting judging passers by

Oh I could go on and on - but it certainly makes me feel a bit better knowing we are not alone. Please keep the stories coming!

This is making me feel so much better ! Even brought me out of lurking
DD (blimey, nearly 4) also loves to 'wee like a bear' when we are outside. Mind you she did wee on the naughty step the other evening. Progress ?!

Looking forward to reading all the posts later with a glass of wine, oops sorry, cup of tea.

Keep them coming ..I am going to make dh sit down and read every single post on here ( if needed I will translate word for word) as last night he said that he thoughtthere was something wrong with dd2 - due to her tantrums and screaming..She is only 2.5 as well........
May the force of patience be with you all. ( If anybody has any spare please send it over as mine is very thin on the ground)

My three year old told me "Cats can't kiss. Cause they got no lips". So, there are good times too :)

I'm enjoying 'nearly twos' (23 months) and her number twos! DD2 did lots of poos in the bath yesterday, that she shares with her older sister, and then proceeded to throw the poos all around the bathroom... oblivious to what was happening I arrived and slipped on one that had landed on the floor - I've been disinfecting things ever since... argh! Each age has its quirks!

Bleurgh shellki

It's lovely and sunny here at the moment. Yesterday I had this conversation with DS several times:

DS: Mummy, I very hot
Me: Let's take your hoody off then
DS: Nooooooooo!

He also wails with heartbreak if I wheel the pushchair up the tiny slope to our front door without letting him get out first so he can run up it. But he doesn't tell me beforehand that he wants to get out; that would be too easy.

I really hate to say it, but this thread has made me feel a whole lot better. Just got home from a 'lovely' day out at a country park with DD (3 next month) and niece (3) which was marred by a complete hissy fit... caused by a dripping ice-lolly. DD can go from nought to tantrum in less than 10 seconds - no time to distract/pacify/avoid. Tantrums generally last for a good 20 minutes and often result in her removing items of clothing (shoes and socks today).
Really awful bit was having to tuck her under my arm (me cross, sweating and covered in ice-lolly) and march past the nicely behaved children who probably don't do tantrums, and the lovely mums who are obviously better at this parenting business than me (I know this is not true- but this is how my mind works at times of epic tantrums).
Thanks for making me realise I am not alone!!!!

noooo! Ds1 is like this already and only 23 months. Do i literally have years til it ends? 5? Really?! And ds2 is 3 months so i could well have a couple of years with them both behaving like devils...

OMSHANTIJACK - How old is your ds? If he only does one day a week it will take a while for him to settle however its not impossible. Does he have any comforters? A special teddy he can take to nursery, or a muslin that will help bring him comfort while he is there. Could you wear a t-shirt round the house for a day or two, then pack in his nursery bag, so he has something that smells like mum.

Thank you,thank you,thankyou for starting this thread, I thought I was the only one going insane with my (just) 3 year old. In one week he has turned into a veritable Jeckll and Hyde!! Its not only the not listening that gets me, its the blunt refusal to do absolutely anything!!!

Sometimes you just feel like your getting it wrong, but i'm sure the good things out weigh the bad( i'm just too exhausted to remember any right now!)

Thanks guys x

DS is 3.2.
That's a really good idea with trying a comforter to take with him - thank you!

My DSd has in the last week picked up the phrase, 'It's hard work!' and is now trying to use this as an excuse to get out of doing things (like picking up his blocks after spreading them ALL over the living room floor).

Well Little Man, looking after you is hard work, but I still do it!

That's just my DS.

Your welcome,

Oh thank the lord for this thread. I have a 3.4 year old DD and she can be delightful and hellish.

A recent example of her stubborness was a whole day - every minute - of 'no, 'no, no' scream, shout. At bedtime she said sorry and told me it was because I hadn't let her have a chocolate biscuit at 10 in the morning.

She doesn't LIKE chocolate biscuits.

Sigh.

I do wonder if there is some magic method of making it ok. I seem to fall back on threatening her with being put in her room if she's not nice. Is there a better way than threats and bribes? Ignoring her just causes mayhem.

Thanks for this thread. I'm particularly heartened by the wee-crises. My DS who potty trained like a dream at 2.2 now thinks toilets are too boring for words and won't wee even when desperate unless he can see the fun element ie. making a wee-wee fountain in an inappropriate place. From barely having to use spares a year ago we now get through about 3 sets of pants & trousers a day (or more). & are there children out there who actually do as they are told? He never dresses himself, won't even allow himself to be dressed unless there's an incentive/threat attached. He's 3.7.
The funny thing is that people who don't have kids this age (including many who must have had once but have clearly forgotten) see you behaving strangely out with your 2-3-4-whatever year old and obviously think you have gone mad. I mean, why would any sane adult a) go the long way round a road junction or take any other obviously non-scenic, apparently pointless and possibly energy-consuming urban detour b) deliberately miss several busses before getting on an apparently identical one c) spend literally an hour on a station platform and then leave without taking a train? That you may be negotiating your way round a major tantrum never seems to occur to witnesses, many of whom must surely be parents themselves .. . (?) Or is it just me who is reduced to this kind of time & energy-consuming tactic? DS is an only - perhaps if he wasn't he'd HAVE to put up and shut up, as in my frequent paranoia I imagine other young children obediently doing. ..

Such a relief to read all this!

Today we had (DD1 37 months):

• Doesn't want breakfast

-complains because hungry and "you didn't give me my breakfast"

• Doesn't want to go to nursery (really didn't, had crying fit, which is most unusual)
• admits to Daddy at teatime that "I didn't want to go to my nursery, but luckily I did"!! (Yes, she really talks like that)
• Doesn't want to go to ballet. Check twice while still time to get there. Nope, definitely wants to stay at home and make stick figures.
• 2hrs later - "I want to go to ballet now"... Queue major crying and upset.
• Refusing snack then demanding snack 30 mins before teatime (was covered in compost at that point (me, not her) so couldn't have anyway)
• Midway through dinner sobbing (copletely out of the blue) "I'm NOT tired!!! Waah!"

Think she may have been, a little bit!

I was actually spared the shoes one today, but most days it's wrong feet, or certain shoes only and God forbid I should offer to help...

Oh Gettingthehangofthis you have reminded me that DS also kicked off this morning because I was wearing the wrong shoes. "Nooooo! Blue shoes mummeeeeeee!"

Three is hideous.HIDEOUS. And then really really sweet.And then hideaous again.Mine is four in a month, hopefully the nuclear 45 minute tantrums will be a distant memory,they are certainly much more rare now than 6m ago.

BightyMoosh - think yours and my DDs probably separated at birth!!! Especially the (impossible) carrying of all things herself. Or nothing. Followed by snatching things back off me (that she's just insisted I carry) saying "I'll carry that.."

Also, Confessions yes, yes, yes! And "I'm poorly" to get out of anywhere she doesn't want to go.

Like many of you, thought I'd got off lightly as she was quite a delightful 2 year old (hard work, but cute ;-) )