do you find other people can tell your kdis off better than you?

[wallopyCOD]

liek when they swing on thsoe ropes at tills
the assistant saying "dont" works a treat

I askpople to tell mine off sometimes.

Yes - the dds have a friend whose mum can just give them a "look" and they stop what they are doing immediately

It works on me too

freind gets me to tell her ds2 off if he pisses about at bed time
she called me up once and i hoofed over there
he was shit scared.
now she only threatens him wiht me

oh yes

and much better at putting them to bed too.

ds went 2 days in a row making a fuss about lunchtime sleep. went to his godmothers for the day and (of course) slept like a baby at lunchtime.

I think people should be specifically employed by supermarkets to tell other people's children off.

I too have a withering look I employ on children that are playing up in supermarkets. Works a treat. Except on DS.

rofl cod!

Hunker I can do the Paddington Bear Stare too - it actually works quite well on my dds if they're not already as high as kites. And it can reduce other people's children to quivering wrecks

No! Sorry, but if my kid was swinging on the ropes at the tills - I would make sure that he was dealt with (timeout in the car). I would be mortified if someone had to discipline my child for me!

DS once threw such a fit in a shop (the one and only time he has lost it in a shop) that I left a trolley full of groceries (told the shopkeeper that I had to take ds home because he would not behave) - and I took him home. He begged to go back. I told him that it was a TREAT to shop with me and I would take him back when he behaved like a big boy. I have never had a problem with him in a shop since (although I am careful not to take him when he is too tired/hungry - even I feel like having a meltdown when I'm too tired/hungry to be shopping).

aah, you're all talking about "the look" that in my days of teaching practice was known as "the death stare" .
I was told by the first teacher I was placed with during my degree that its very important to be able to stop kids in their tracks with a look alone.
Although I never taught at the end of my degree I've still retained the "death stare" which I've used on occasions -great when my neighbours older daughter starts bossing my dd around once too often and thinks she can get away with it(but it doesn't seem to work on my own kids )

i used the death stare to great effect but no i nees botox ont he line in between my eyes, mayeb ill sue them
kiwi kate dont be so holier than thou
of dourse i tell them off
one ds is easy to sanctionfgs

Love it when people do it with my ds - very effective because it's like a magnified version of mummy and daddy both disapproving of something. So I do it for other people's kids too.

Only a problem when I don't disagree with the people doing the 'death stare' that DS's behaviour is a problem. cf all the threads people have ever started about tutting old ladies. That'll be me in about 5 years time, that will.

Doh - 'don't disagree' = 'don't agree'

nope!

wallopycod, I also have a five week old dd. Does not stop me from discipling my toddler son.

Don't ask the question if you don't want an answer that might be different to your own views!

You are a bit touchy. I never commented on YOUR way of doing things or said you didn't discipline your kids. Just answered your original question about whether I'd like others to discipline my kids. Lighten up fgs. What I do is not a reflection that I think you should do something different. Do what you want. Personally, as I said, I'd be mortified if someone had to discipline my child for me. I believe that is MY job. I have no views on what you do or how you do it - that is YOUR job.

If we all did things the same way, it'd be a pretty boring world, I recon

If my DSs were swinging off the ropes at tills I too would dicipline them but the truth is that they listen far better to other people - complete strangers are the best. It's not a case of my job - I do my job but it's far more effective when someone else tells them to do/not to do something. I think they get bored with me constantly telling them what to do or chastising them that they simply tune it out.

DSs are 6 and 4 and I think age does make a difference as they get blase about doing what their parent(s) tell them to do.

I think kids get used to their parents telling them off, so disapproval from someone else works better.

They know we'll love them no matter what, so they're more worried about impressing other people.

And KiwiKate, who is touchy?

Oh, and I agree - one mobile DS and a baby is easy - wait til the little horrors are chasing each other round and sparking off each other! I don't mean to sound all superior and more knowledgable but DS1 was a dream to control until DS2 got to the not-strapped-into-a-pushchair stage.

Quite right NQC - I am touchy about people who ask what you think, and then tell you off when they don't like what you think. Perhaps people should say only respond if you are likeminded? Happens so often on MN, I sometimes wonder if it is worth posting at all. But then I think of the people who post who do want to hear different ideas, and what a loss it would be to them if everyone stopped posting. I thought WCod actually wanted to know what people thought.

btw my mum had 4 kids and 3 step kids (all adults now) and she shares my view (or probably I got my views from her, more likely). I also know several couples with older mobile kids who share my view. Maybe its just a different cultural thing, as we are not from the UK?

If it works for you, great.

Soupdragon, you are a better mum than me finding a baby and a toddler easy. dd is sleeping less and less, and for the past couple of weeks has generally been sleeping 2 to 3 hours a night (except for the spectacular night when she only slept for ONE HOUR the whole night. The sleep deprivation is doing my head in. I now know why sleep deprivation is used at a form of torture!

.. and of course this has to be the time for the whole family to get really ill too (DH almost landing up in hospital). Ah, the joys ...

Yes I tell my kids off if they misbehave - but equally YES they react much quicker when a stranger does it! When my 3 year old is running round the supermarket with her 5 year old brother refusing to listen to a word I say, a single comment from another shopper will stop her in her tracks.
They do get timeout - I do discipline them - but hearing it from a stranger always works better.

wwwoh get you lot!

I agree that I want to be the one to discipline my ds, and would be mortified if somebody else had to step in. I am not from the UK either...

I'm quite good at telling other people's children off, especially if they are hurting my baby (ds2 who's 4)

I'm the same I would be mortified if someone else disciplined DS and I am from the UK.

Oh no, KiwiKate, don't get me wrong - it's only with hindsight that a baby and a toddler seem easy. It was far from it at the time!

Much the same way as having one newborn seemed hard work until I had a 2yo and a newborn and I realised how easy having just the newborn really was... Sigh.

i dont mean tell off like whip or anything!

i meant if someone says" dont swin ggont hat has a shaming effect even when oyu haev said it 10 times