How old was your child when they got the idea of saying 'Sorry'?

[LaWeasel]

Wondering if I am expecting too much of DD.

How old is she?

They are never too young to be asked to say sorry, IMO.

My DS is 2.4.
He has been saying it for a little while, but I think it is only recently that he genuinely understands what it means and uses it spontaneously and appropriately.
Children can parrot it when prompted from a younger age, but they vary when they genuinely understand and mean it.
How old is your DD?

about 3 and a half I think. Up to then he couldn't distinguish between something being an accident which he had to say sorry for and a deliberate act. He didn't understand that if you had hurt someone, even by accident you should say sorry.

She is 2 in a week.

She understands saying sorry if she has done something accidentally, and will say it unprompted (sometimes she says it when she hasn't actually done anything but thinks she has! Like brushing past people)

But for eg, this morning she was hitting a toy against the tv, thought it was hilarious and wouldn't apologise.

about 18 months ish

mind you, even now he always thinks he is right.......and hates having to apologise!

DD2 was taught sign language for sorry (putting her hand on someone's head) when she was about a year - nursery taught her. She still does the action but now at 2.5 says "sorry" too - has done for a while.

DS is 17 months. If he hurts his big sister we expect him to make amends. He hasn't said 'sorry' as such, but will go and give her a stroke or hug if asked to say sorry.

That is my worry I suppose.

She makes no sign at all of regretting anything she 'meant' to do.

Only things that weren't on purpose.

I know she is only 2 and only learning, but it comes across pretty horribly!

Mine has started saying it and is 2.4.

I think it takes a long time before they really understand most social conventions, like please and thank you, sorry. I believe in getting them to understand when you say these things and insisting they do even if the reason is unclear. My friend differs- believes they will say please, thank you and sorry through modelling when they are ready. I'll let you know when that moment comes. Six and a bit and we're still waiting....

Imho 2yos are little anarchists and you are doing well if you can manage to stop undesirable behaviour, better still if you can get them to apologise: to expect them to feel what you think they should feel might be expecting a little much. And tbh not really necessary: they are little, you are in charge, you can still control them.

DS3:
1 or 2 months short of 3yo. He has minor speech delay, which I think is relevant. He's 3y+1month now and very good about apologies now.

Managed it much earlier with at least 2 of my older DC, but DC4 is a bit of a thicko....

The thing is, if she isn't sorry - she won't say it!

And I can't actually make her say anything. It's one of the few things at 2yo that she can't be forced to do.

Generally her behaviour is not that bad, and distraction is still a key thing with her. But whether I should perserve trying to make her say sorry when it is hours later and she still won't. I don't know, really.

Don't worry too much that she won't say it.
As long as you tell her when to say it and you can tell that she feels guilty and is therefore aware of having done something wrong, I think it's ok.

My DD always found 'please', 'thank you' and 'sorry' the most difficult words to say. She simply clammed up under the pressure.
She is now 4 and has suddenly started saying all such words far more easily.

It will come. Every child has a different pace.

Said it from about 2yo, iirc. Only said it and actually meant it (rather than repeating back parrot fashion ) from about 3yo.

Mine did it early, before 2, I think. She objects to saying it if pushed. I usually say 'You've been unkind. I need you to have a think about it and say sorry when you are ready.' Or I let her overhear me saying to the injured party that I am sure DD will say sorry when she is ready. I think she almost always does, and it saves getting into a conflict.

about 18 months (he is 22 months now) he cant say 'sorry' but he knows to hug for an apology when asked.

at coming up to 2 i think, maybe 20 or 21 monthsish im not too sure
but after turning 2 has gradually got better @ saying it without prompting (still sometimes have to tell him)
if you explain to her about the reasons why not to do things does she take it in? like if you explain the tv could break and then wont work or may break and hurt her, would she accept that or just not bothered? i found with my ds once he understands more about the reasons eg things breaking or making people sad if you hit them etc, he tends to be better with saying sorry?

My DS won't say sorry, he is really stubborn about it, I have tried for 45 minutes before and he wouldn't crack! After that awful experience I have stopped trying to make him. Instead I try and describe how the other person is feeling and why they feel like that, and then ask him what he could do to make them feel better. He will usually try and cuddle (not always welcomed by other child he has hurt), or try and give them a toy. I suggest saying sorry, but so far that has been ignored. I'm hoping nursery will help him to get the hang of it...

We've always tried to make her say sorry but it's had to be parrot fashion. 6 months ago it was less parrot fashion but still said very begrudgingly. Finally at 3.8 she started saying unprompted and appropriately... sometime even when it's not needed.

She doesn't care if she might get hurt/she won't have whatever anymore. She just thinks it's funny.

Social's DS sounds most like her. She could probably convinced to hug somebody she has upset and does generally want to. (it's generally me! she doesn't hit/punch etc at the mo so no problems with other kids.)

It's something I suppose.

DD doesn't say sorry, but she does indicate it, usually by giving a hug to the person/object/cat she has offended, or sometimes a nod. So she has a grasp of the concept.

The problem we have is that locally 'sorry' is more usually used to mean 'excuse me' (I'm English, but we live on Dublin's northside); so if I'm in her way, she'll try to get past and say 'sorry'. She's just starting to get that words that sound the same can mean 2 different things (she's 2.2), but not very firmly (had entertaining discussions about boy/buoy on the ferry home last week :o)

Please is coming (but really is a bargaining chip), thank you not yet. Also clams up under pressure (same with letters, numbers, colours)

dd at abbout 18mths figured out that it wasn't nice to pull her brothers hair and now says sorry at the appropriate times (with a cuddle for good measure) ds2 didn't get the hang of it until he was nearly 4 and i still have to prompt him at times!

DD says sorry (and means it) and has done since she was 3. Before that she could say it...but I don't think she fully understood what it meant.