18 mnth niece, not walking, talking or even responding to her name

[anxiousaunt]

My niece is 18 months old and she's seems to be very slow with her development. I have 2 other nieces and 2 nephews (1 of which is 7 mnths and is more advanced) and she won't interact with any of them. She seems like she is in a world of her own most of the time, she never looks anyone in the eye and never responds when i call her name. She doesn't talk either and most of the time she makes noises to her self. Sometimes when she sits on the floor she shakes her head side to side rapidly and this really concerns me too. Her weight is also a major concern, she only weighs 13lbs 15oz, but apparently the doctors are fine with this! Am i just being an over anxious auntie?!

it sounds very much like autism but i am no doctor - my 6 month old will look at u when u call his name - r u sure uve got the weight correct? cus mine weighs over 19lbs now at 6 months so surley that cant be right???

dont worry - even if this child doesnt seem very advanced im sure they still provide alot of love and happyness, just embrace what she can do xx

Thanks for your replys.

Feliena - She is only 13lbs 15, she was weighed on Wednesday. I know that's not right and i have tried to discuss this with her parents, but i don't think they want to hear that there's something not quite right. I love her no matter what, but it breaks my heart to watch this and not be able to do anything. I personally think she had autism too and so do other members of my family

Smallwhitecat - I have tried talking to my brother, but i don't think he fully understands my concerns. I will certainly be speaking with him again after i have looked into this in a bit more detail.

Thank you both for the advice x

It sounds like a friend of mine's son - he was diagnosed with global development delay. But it took a few years to get a diagnosis. It was her first child and she too was very reluctant to seek advice as I guess she, as many would, did not want to admit anything was wrong.

Where was she weighed? That seems a very low weight how tall is she?

she was weighed at the local health centre. she is small for her age, don't know exact height, but she was born 5 weeks early too. however, i personally think she should have caught up by now. :(

And what did the HV or medical person who weighed her say? I am shocked that even for a small 18 month old child their weight is that of the average 4 month old, and the medical people are not concerned.

If it helps, she sounds quite similar to my daughter. She was a little heavier (never thought I'd say that!) 15lb at 15 months, I don't think she was more than 16 lb by 18 months. No one has ever been concerned about her weight because she has followed her centile. She was late with sitting (7-8 months) crawling (14 months) and walking (24 months). She's in her own world and it takes a lot to get her to respond to you but she is getting better. She still doesn't talk much although seems to constantly jabber in her own language, this is very new.

She saw a paediatrician recently and has been diagnosed with hypermobility which has delayed her development.

I'm not offering a diagnosis but just hope that there is something else.

Another thing to consider is she might not be big enough to walk yet, most babies start walking around shoe size 2. (Cue lots of people telling me their babies first shoe size wasn't a 2)

aww it must be really hard for ur brother and u - maybe u could involve some other members of ur family to help discuss with him and definutly make the most of confuddledDOTcom (sorry dont mean to talk about u and not 2 u or voulenter u but ur probably a better person to relate to and to ask questions to as uve actually been through/learnt how to deal with the situation) as they might be able to tell u how they felt comming to terms with there daughters condition best of luck to all of u xx

I think if you can find a way to talk to your brother about this, then please try to do it sensitively and supportively.

You could be describing my niece. She's 3 now, weighs about as much as a sparrow (wears 9-12 month clothing), doesn't talk, point, respond etc.

My brother wouldn't/couldn't listen and it took my dn going to nursery and their insistence on investigation for something to be done.

My DD is 23 months and weighs 18lb 5oz. She was born 13 weeks early. As she is in proportion, no doctors are concerned about her weight, so I wouldn't get too hung up on her low weight.

She isn't walking yet due to over-flexible hips and ankles. She didn't sit till she was 10 months, didn't crawl till 15 months and so on.

However, she does respond, is beginning to form sentences, points, responds to her name when she feels like it, etc.

I wonder if your niece has ear problems - maybe that's why she's shaking her head and why she doesn't respond to speech/talk. May be worth suggesting your DB has her ears checked.

Apart from that, don't assume that they aren't at all worried - I have an 'it's all fine' outward face, while inside I'm upset and worried that she isn't walking. Only DH knows how I'm feeling.

Yes. What you describe does not sound like it is what you would call 'normal' development.

many doctors really hate to do anything when it's a very young child.

They seem to favour the wait and see approach.

This is WRONG wrong wrong wrong wrong.

Early intervention is crucial for the best outcome.

thank you all so much for your replys, advice and support.

Myself and other family members have tried to discuss the situation with her parents, but they, undertandably, don't want to hear that there's something wrong with their child.

She wants to walk. I take her hands and walk about with her, but i don't think she can fully support her own weight just yet.

It's great to hear about other children and their development and hopefully she is just slow to start, but i will be seeking further advice and try and speak with her parents again.

Thank you all again for your fantastic support

If you do manage to get your brother to listen to yur concerns, tell him to ask the hv to perform the CHAT test. It is a screening test which flags concerns for ASD, and your niece is the right age for this.

You could google it (sorry, am on iPod so can't do links) and print it out and show your brother maybe. It is a simple series of questions which highlight normal development, and it sounds from what you have described here, as though your neice would not pass it.

My dd1 was much like you describe at 18 months. She is mow 6, has severe ASD, and is a happy, cheeky, sunny little girl. She is still delaye in her development, and is more like a 3 year old in many ways, but she is doing well.

The weight thing could be a concern, but you say that healthcare professionals are not worried. My dd2 was only 14lb at 16 months - she was truly tiny! Mind you, she is only about 27lb now, and she is 4... She had a lot of tests as a baby, but the conclusion is that she is just petite.

You sound like a lovely caring aunt - does your brother have any other children, and are he/SIL up to speed with what a child should be doing by this age?

It must be so difficult for you - good luck

She sounds just like my niece was,she was finally diagnosed with autisim,as at first they dont like to label children.my brother and sister in law were in denial aswell,and their daughter was only tiny aswell,she is 10 now but could pass for a 7 year old.she would never look you in the eye or as a baby,she never waved bye bye,like babies do,and once she was sitting on her own and i was calling her name and she didnt move,tbh i thought she was deaf.

I wouldnt say you were over anxious at all,as the proof is there infront of your eyes,is this their first child ?,maybe is she was with other children of the same age,the parents might notice the difference.my niece never spoke,she only made noises,and is a fantastic climber,she could climb on anything and has brillaint balance,she still doesnt talk now,only the odd work,which you cant always understand,i would have another word,with your brother as he needs to get the ball rolling,as it took my brother a long time before they got the help they needed.

I dont understand how the doctor can say its nothing to worry about,did they actually say this or did your brother tell you this ? ood luck hope all works out for you and your family.

I have 3 daughters. Non of the walked till they were 19 months. Their dad and aunttie didnt walk till they were 18 months. Me and my siblings were all up before we were 1. They couldnt talk till the were at least 2. The eldest excels at school. The middle was has learing problems and is possibly dyslexic. The yougest 2.7 seems fine. She did used to nut the floor but it was more a frustration thing as she couldnt walk. They were all underweight but have filled out a bit now. (smile)

sorry for the typos, multitasking

I would definitely suspect autism although it may be something else caused by the fact she was premie. I don't have any experience of this but I've heard that premies don't just 'catch up' - certainly not at that age. IIRC you have to adjust for the earliness of their birth for a few years - you actually measure their development by the due date. So if this girl is actually 18m but was born 5wks early, you would compare her with a child of just under 17m.

Sorry if I've got that totally wrong I just read it somewhere.

also she might have hearing problems

Premature babies are difficult. Some will excel and overtake their birth age, some follow their gestation and some are a little slower. Certainly they say to adjust to their CGA but it's not always seen as a big deal if they're keeping up with it.

She sounds so much like my youngest. She was 35 weeks with IUGR and has done everything six months behind her 31 weeker sister. I always said imagine you were her size, would you want to walk?

aww - you sound like a lovely auntie!

do you know if her hearing has been checked???

I don't know much about these things but has she been for all her checks with the health visitor? I don't understand why nothing has been done, your neice should have been referred at least to make sure nothing is wrong.

It sounds very similar to Downs Syndrome doesn't it? Or am I miles out?

I really hope you get somewhere with this, you sound like a lovely aunty.

Omg, I am so shocked. My dd weighed 15lb at 15 weeks.

This sounds so completely outside the realms of normality to me. You are quite right to have alarm bells ringing.

Blimey, I thought my DD was small - 17lbs at 18 mo- just under 14lbs is dinky!

From what you say of your niece I would say she might have some issues- even in a range of developments speeds hers seems delayed. I would be surprised if any health care professionals weren't worried about her, unless her parents are not expressing any concerns to them. Also, are you sure the parents aren't already having her investigated without telling anybody?

I can understand not being able to discuss this with her parents- I have similar sorts of concerns about my 1 yo nephew but it's impossible to say anything to his parents.