18 mnth niece, not walking, talking or even responding to her name

[anxiousaunt]

My niece is 18 months old and she's seems to be very slow with her development. I have 2 other nieces and 2 nephews (1 of which is 7 mnths and is more advanced) and she won't interact with any of them. She seems like she is in a world of her own most of the time, she never looks anyone in the eye and never responds when i call her name. She doesn't talk either and most of the time she makes noises to her self. Sometimes when she sits on the floor she shakes her head side to side rapidly and this really concerns me too. Her weight is also a major concern, she only weighs 13lbs 15oz, but apparently the doctors are fine with this! Am i just being an over anxious auntie?!

I really don't think we should fixate on weight- not all babies grow at the same rate you know. My older daughters didn't reach 10kg until 24 months and they are perfectly healthy. I fully expect DD3 to follow the same pattern. She's 8.5kg now so maybe even slightly smaller than her sisters.

I agree, we don't know what the child weighed at birth or the parent's size. The HV/doctor would have that information and is better placed to decide that her weight is ok.

Ok my dd1 was very very light but nowhere near as light as that. Have checked the chart and at 13lbs she would be way off the bottom of the chart- like the lightest toddler on record...so I really think you must have got that wrong otherwise the professionals would be highly concerned about her weight. Are you sure it wasn't 13kg??

Not walking and talking are not unusual at that age at all but the other issues you mentioned are a concern and it does sound like Autism or Global delay.

It is very difficult when the child is not yours though as it is such a sensitive issue for the parents. I really feel for you.

Oh I have just seen she was premie so her weight for her adjusted age is probably just at the bottom of the chart. My dd dipped to the 0.2 centile when she was around 2.5yrs now she is back on 9th.

I suspect she also had/has hypermobility. She walked at 20mths, jumped at about 3.5 and hopped for the first time just the other day and she will be 5 in 4 months time. She said one word at 20mths- TA! She never shuts up now! As a baby she didn't really respond well to people talking to her and she was painfully shy and she also cried a lot.

In the last year she has really matured and come out of her shell and is a bright wee cookie. She also mastered cycling without stabilisers before she turned 4!

It's really hard to know and development is unique in every child.

I don't think weight by itself means anything. It is weight plus the other issues that is the concern. Not talking wouldn't worry me too much either by itself - my own dd1 was very slow to talk. Likewise it's not particularly unusual for 18 month old chidlren to not be walking. It's the combination of all these things that is unusual and cause for concern. I think all you can do is keep an eye on the situation and support your relatives as best you can. If they don't want to investigate at this point - well she's their child and it is up to them as long as she isn't at risk of harm. Atm the risk is that she is missing out on help that could benefit her but I don't think that trumps their right to make decisions for their child. Hopefully they will see there is an issue here and you can then support them in following that up.

also thought ear problems

I'm so glad others have said about the weight! I find it rather offensive to be told my child (because this is a similar size to my youngest) is "like the lightest child on record" she is far from it! She's actually the same size as grandmother's biggest baby, her father was the smallest!

This baby sounds so similar to mine and there is no learning difficulty going on with her, she might not speak (English anyway, her own language she never shuts up) but she's a pretty bright kid and there's no fooling her.

Thanks again for all the replies.

My brother does have another daughter, she is 10 and she has had no development problems. Infact she does very well in school and excels in everything she does.
I'm quite sure the doctors have likely said something to my brother about my baby niece, but i don't think he's giving us the full story.
I don't think it's downs syndrome, but i will never know until she has been assessed.
I have spoken to my parents and my other brother and sister and we are going to sit them down for a chat. We will be reaserching more into child development so that we have proof for our concerns.

thank you all

I would very much doubt if your niece had Downs Syndrome. It's very obvious and would have been picked up within hours of her birth.

It could be ASD. Try the CHAT test, Checklist for Autism in Toddlers, aimed at children of 18 months so now is the ideal time to try it.

CHAT here

This website link has 4 pages so make sure you don't miss them all.

Don't know how you can best support your brother. Just keep on being there for them.