DD needs help...am I doing the right thing?

[katymac]

History

DD was being bullied by a minded child (oct - jan), the child left (but is still at school)(mar)
DD was being racially bulied (by a very good friend)(jan to Jun)
In YrR and Yr1 she was advanced, clever, acheiving
She has been bedwetting since feb
In Yr3 she is average, adequate & normal (according to parents evening)

To all onlookers she is bright, happy, very intelligant. These include several junior school teachers - who think she is extremely bright.

She got 2.1 or 3 on her SATs

Action

I have arranged for her to see the school nurse and go to the enuresis clinic

I have asked for her to be assessed for dyslexia

Am I doing the right thing? Is there anything else I should do?

bedwetting is probably due to the bullying, so not sure going to a clinic will help tbh... not saying she shouldn't go though

what makes you think she is dyslexic?

Too scared to be bright and acheiving?

apparently there is a form of dyslexia which is identified by a disparity between oral ability and written work. She has a very good vocabulary and ability to converse but limited ability to get it down on paper.

I was tested (for dyslexia)as a child and was borderline - but bright enough to cope

DH has limited ability to read and write.

Once DD learnt to read, we kind of stepped down from dyslexia alert (so to speak)

I wonder if she is bored, I also remember how I struggled and almost want to rule it out

also if you read some of the parents evening threads on here some of the teachers aren't as forthcoming with praise as perhaps they should be! doesn't mean she isn't doing just as well!

Her teacher says her problems are all my fault - I am concerned that he could be right.

However I am hoping that the school nurse will be able to discover if there are any major family problems

well her teacher sounds like an arse!

I think you could be right

I hope you could be right

Pleease let you be right

If she is normally quite bright could she be dumbing herself down to "fit in" ?

Why and what are the problems that are your fault? ed that a teacher would say that.

very unfair of the teacher to say that, katy.

I think it could be several things - deliberately hiding her light is one of them. Or perhaps she just has difficulties with reading and writing (with or without a diagnosis of dyslexia). the bullying sounds horrible - not sure what you can do about that.

remember that the thinking part is the hard bit. reading and writing will improve with practice whatever else happens. she will catch up.

I suppose hiding her light could be a possibility.....

Reading is her favourite thing, she is reading constantly things like Famous Five, rainbow fairies, Swallows and Amazons.

Writing is a problem.......her spelling is fantastic.

But she has really difficult to pronounce new words and her writing takes so much effort

She isn't dyslexic. If she was dyslexic she couldn't read and spell like that. End of story. She may have dyspraxia - motor planning problems - which affect clarity of speech and the ability to write and draw as well as her fine and gross motor skills. Is she good at jumping, catching balls etc?
Or she may have nothing wrong with her at all, but the bullying is making her keep her head down in class or affecting her self-esteem. Think the teacher's assumptions are pretty cheeky, actually.

I'm so confused

Either
1)DD has a problem
2)There is a problem at home
3)The school has a problem

Even if she isn't dyslexic, at least we would know that.

Even if the school nurse doesn't find out the problem, it will (hopefully) rule something else out

Which would leave a problem/potentail solution/situation

Will we be any better off?

i personally think that any "problem" she has is down to the bullying.

it would account for the bedwetting
it would account for any change at school... if she was being bullied then she is naturally going to have withdrawn into herself a bit... this in itself makes her not stand out so much so all the teacher remembers is that she does her work ok... the standard of work itself may not have suffered at all... iyswim?

dyslexia is a problem with reading and spelling, and she has neither, so how can she be dyslexic? I'm confused.
Sounds like the bullying could be the problem.
What happens when you try to talk to her about all this?
If bullying has affected her self-confidence then the school should be working with you to boost it again. Praising her loads, helping her in the playground, etc etc.

dyslexia is a problem with reading and spelling, and she has neither, so how can she be dyslexic? I'm confused.
Sounds like the bullying could be the problem.
What happens when you try to talk to her about all this?
If bullying has affected her self-confidence then the school should be working with you to boost it again. Praising her loads, helping her in the playground, etc etc.

But the teacher is insistant that the bullying has stopped (and hasn't occurred since july)

However I'm not so sure

She doesn't want to go out at playtime, and when she does go out she runs around all the time - that worries me

What does your dd say?

It might now be less overt bullying, or she could still be affected by it.

Like Aloha says, it sounds like her self confidence has taken a knocking. That would explain the writing thing too imo - she struggles because she doesn't want to make mistakes.

I have been told ( don't know how accurate it is), that dyslexia is a problem with processing and reproducing information.

She does not (apparently) have a problem with processing it - just reproducing it(writing) - it is relatively rare

However - that could all be a load of cr*p or i could have got the wrong end of the stick

At least ruling it out would help

DD's confidence is very low, she is ugly, stupid,an idiot, nasty and no-one likes her

No dyslexia is a problem with reading. That's what it means. The lexia bit means reading. If she's a champion reader she can't be dyslexic.
Her low self-esteem is a real problem though and that is what, IMO, you should be addressing. Both in finding out the cause - ie the old bullying or possibly continuing bullying - and dealing with - specific praise at home and at school. Doing activities that make her feel good about herself.
When you ask her about the bullying, what does she say? Have you asked her why she is reluctant to go out at playtime?
Maybe say, 'you seem like you don't want to go out to play?' and try to encourage her to open up.

Bullying is evil.

I got my info on Dyslexia from these people

I think the problem pronouncing new words and trouble writing sounds more like dyspraxia than dyslexia. I know it sounds stupid, but get stick her to stick her tongue out and check she can move it properly upwards, downwards and side to side. To build her confidence up is there anything new she could do outside school where she could make friends outside the school setting - I've found that has really helped my DD's confidence. Does she ever want to invite anyone from school home at all ?