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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD needs help...am I doing the right thing?

46 replies

katymac · 20/10/2005 21:22

History

DD was being bullied by a minded child (oct - jan), the child left (but is still at school)(mar)
DD was being racially bulied (by a very good friend)(jan to Jun)
In YrR and Yr1 she was advanced, clever, acheiving
She has been bedwetting since feb
In Yr3 she is average, adequate & normal (according to parents evening)

To all onlookers she is bright, happy, very intelligant. These include several junior school teachers - who think she is extremely bright.

She got 2.1 or 3 on her SATs

Action

I have arranged for her to see the school nurse and go to the enuresis clinic

I have asked for her to be assessed for dyslexia

Am I doing the right thing? Is there anything else I should do?

OP posts:

elastamum · 20/10/2005 23:06

My nephew is diagnosed dyslexic, he is bright, can read really well, but has real problems with written work. Not sure that I understand the finer points of it but he has had an assessment and thats how it came out. He feels much better about himself now he understands the problem and is not just seen as 'stupid'. My brother and father were also dyslexic and it does run in families.

Original poster

katymac · 20/10/2005 23:20

Thanks Elastamum - I'm glad that I wasn't imagining it....

Anyway we might fnd something out

OP posts:

aloha · 20/10/2005 23:48

The World Federation of Neurology defines dyslexia as
'a disorder manifested by difficulties in learning to read, despite
conventional instruction, adequate intelligence and socio-cultural
opportunity'.

I think to say you can read really well but still be dyslexic is like saying you are a professional sportsman but still be dyspraxic. My son is dyspraxic btw.

Blu · 20/10/2005 23:53

Katym - the teacher says it is all your fault? What on earth did he say?

Original poster

katymac · 21/10/2005 08:16

Maybe I put too much pressure on her to be good, to do well, to be polite, to be tidy

I thought I was normal expecting her room to be tidy once and week and for her to say please and thank you etc

OP posts:

Batters · 21/10/2005 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummytosteven · 21/10/2005 08:59

another take on this - I think DD's confidence needs building up something chronic - does she do any extra curricular activities that could hopefully mean she mixes with different people and have a chance to make friends in a different environment? say something like drama/or martial arts are meant to be good in their different ways at building up kids confidence.

is she running around at playtime to escape the other kids, or could she be at all concerned about her weight?

edam · 21/10/2005 09:17

Apart from the excellent suggestions here re out of school activities and going to the head, not the appalling classroom teacher (who should NEVER speak to you like that, WTF are they on? - tell the head what he said), I would look into how the previous bullying has affected her. Suggest you contact Kidscape - they are v. good on bullying and may be able to help you come up with something that would deal with after-effects of past bullying. Don't have their contact details but google should find them.

Enuresis clinic sounds good - whatever the cause of the bedwetting, they should be able to help you deal with it.

I was bullied at school and it was awful - and I was a lot older than your dd, think must be even more difficult to cope with at her age.

Original poster

katymac · 21/10/2005 11:10

He is the head (and her form teacher)

OP posts:

Batters · 21/10/2005 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eggbert · 21/10/2005 14:22

''apparently there is a form of dyslexia which is identified by a disparity between oral ability and written work. She has a very good vocabulary and ability to converse but limited ability to get it down on paper. ''

I heard that too and that is exactly what prompted me to get my son tested for dyslexia!
Two of his teachers said they thought he might have a 'specific learning difficulty''. Another said she thought he was definitely very intelligent but his class teacher told me he was average and 'immature''. When he was tested it turned out he was dyslexic, but more interestingly, his IQ was 'exceptional'. Mind you, that doesn't help us much as he is trapped by the limitations of his written work (V V poor). As a mum, you know your own child, better than anyone else. Do what you feel is right for you and her. I wish you all the best - it isn't easy but you keep pushing

Original poster

katymac · 21/10/2005 16:15

Thanks eggbert - I'm really not happy atm

she is attending "Friendship group" but has only had 3 meetings

I'm really worried - but I don't know what to do

OP posts:

fullmoonfiend · 21/10/2005 19:44

what's a friendship group btw?

Original poster

katymac · 21/10/2005 21:39

It is apparently a very involved teaching assistant who does lots of confidence building and hopes to get the children to confid in her...??

OP posts:

freakyzebra · 22/10/2005 21:11

Bedwetting : have you spoken to your GP, Katymac? I thought that there were usually underlying physical problems when it happened in a child of this age.

Original poster

katymac · 22/10/2005 21:33

GP said "speak to the school nurse"

It's been going on since Feb (when the bullying started)

It got better over the school holidays tho'

OP posts:

Original poster

katymac · 03/11/2005 22:11

Well the enuresis clinic is booked for January

She is not Dyslexic

DD stopped wetting from the Sat before halfterm until the Thursday before she went back to school. That was nearly 2 weeks......but it started again

Found a piece of work from summer hols before Y2 (she is now in y3 - so it's about 12 months old) and it is better (significantly) than the work she does now.

OP posts:

titchy · 04/11/2005 09:29

Sounds like it is still ro do with the bullying imo. Even if it has stopped she is probably still scared that it might start again - so she runs round the playground to avoid any chance of it starting up again. And if it really has stopped then she probably thinks this strategy, and perhaps the strategy of not doing so well in class have worked, so the problems continue. Maybe in her mind she thinks that if she tries to do well or tries to fit in with her peers the bullying will start up. She definately needs the confidence to know that it won't, suggest taking it one tiny step at a time, try to change one small bit of her behaviour/work/way she socialises, then once she realises things are OK her confidence will be a bit better, then work on another small bit etc.

titchy · 04/11/2005 09:30

Is family therapy an option?

Original poster

katymac · 04/11/2005 19:45

I'll know more when I've seen the nurse I think

OP posts:

Prufrock · 04/11/2005 20:25

Re the inability to pronounce new words km, this could be related to the prolific reading - I was a very academically intelligent child, and read a huge amount, but used to (and still sometimes do) mispronounce certain words because I'd learnt them through reading way before I'd heard anybody say them and so had already got fixed in my mind my own mis-pronunciation. (I still cannot say "be-draggled" - in my mind, and mouth it will always be "bed-raggled")

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