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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I have got 2 dds - clothes issues. Am I beeing mean to dd2 ?

39 replies

Summerfruit · 27/02/2011 20:09

I have 2 dds, 1 is 7 and the other 1 is 4. I tend to buy a lot of clothes for dd1, lovely, cheap, not too cheap... My reasonning is that it will go to dd2 afterwards. DD2 has started to notice and I feel she is a bit jealous. Dont get me wrong I always buy her a couple of new stuff but not as much as dd1. Shall I buy the same amount of new dresses for dd2 ?

OP posts:

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ramonaquimby · 27/02/2011 20:13

I have 3 girls and have always saved dd1's clothes for the other 2. it IS getting harder as 6y dd knows what she likes/doesn't like and the 4 year old quickly catching up! I now will buy new things for all of them as and when they might need something and probably save less of dd1's stuff than I did a few years ago.

have to say with school uniforms they don't actually have that many clothes, so I don't mind having to buy new every now and then x3

Pagwatch · 27/02/2011 20:14

I was the child who always had hand me down clothes. It was shit.
I didn't understand the financial side of it. It just seemed to me that I was less important than my sisters.

Obviously pass down some stuff. But stop buying 'loads' for one and not the other.

belgo · 27/02/2011 20:15

I have to be very careful, my dd2 has a very deep sense of fairness, and if I buy something for dd1, I have to buy something for dd2. I have to treat them the same otherwise there is war.

Grabaspoon · 27/02/2011 20:16

I would buy key pieces to be passed down but would also allow dd2 to have new items and choice over clothing too.

If you are short on cash just buy a bundle of DD2 size clothes of ebay. Then they are new for her but her sister hasn't worn them.

dinkystinky · 27/02/2011 20:17

Poor DS2 spent his first year and a half living in DS1's hand-me-downs (after going through DS2's hands, they're only fit for dusters so wont be inflicting handmedowns on anyone else). I do tend to mostly buy new clothes for DS1 but make sure I also buy something for DS2 every so often (particularly if I think he'll look good in it/like it). Mind you DS2 is only 2 so not complaining about it yet - but he does love getting new clothes.

chipmonkey · 27/02/2011 20:17

This is where having boys seems to be an advantage. They don't give a shit!

BarbarianMum · 27/02/2011 20:18

Am struggling with this myself (have 2 ds). Speaking to various people who have been through it (as parents of siblings) seems to suggest that it is unreasonable to expect your younger dc to keep on inheriting your older child's clothes much beyond the age of 5 (or at least they should get to pick and chose the ones they want and then you buy them their own to make up the shortfall).

It seems v. wasteful to me but don't want ds2 as traumatised as dh or neighbour across the street (both younger brothers) so will give in gradually.

Maybe by a bit less for your dd1 - don't buy more, or more expensive on the basis that it'll be passed on. Then if it is - bonus.

BarbarianMum · 27/02/2011 20:18

Sorry that should read (as parents or siblings)

2cats2many · 27/02/2011 20:23

Maybe buy more things second hand? eBay? Charity shops? My children are delighted with anything that is new to the house. It doesn't have to be new with tags from a shop.

Original poster

Summerfruit · 27/02/2011 20:24

Thank you very much for your posts. DD1 is very much into dresses and dd2 is as well. The things that dd2 gets from dd1 are really pretty stuff but it is true I need to make an effort towards dd2. They have a school disco in a couple of weeks, I have bought a dark blue sequin dress for dd1 and I have just bidded (ebay) on a pink sequin dress for dd2.

I got a lot of hand me downs from my brother and I dont want dd2 to feel the same as I did.

The girls are in non uniform school so I need to have a lots of clothes.

OP posts:

FourFortyFour · 27/02/2011 20:25

I have 2 boys and half of ds2's wardrobe is his brother's hand me downs and the other new stuff. They are not always the same size in the same season and not everything lasts for 2 children.

Original poster

Summerfruit · 27/02/2011 20:27

I do buy a lots of things on ebay as I love the fact the girls look different ! I'll say 80 % of the things I buy for the girls are from ebay !

OP posts:

Rosebud05 · 27/02/2011 20:29

My mother dressed me and my twin sister alike until we were old enough to buy our own clothes. Despite me HATING it (though that's another thread.

I know this is slightly different, but the issue of personal choice is the same one, I think. In this situation, I'd keep the older one's clothes, then let the younger one choose which ones she'd like, and top up as necessary. And charity shop/ebay.

Loopymumsy · 28/02/2011 07:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFowlAndThePussycat · 28/02/2011 07:31

You could sell on some of dd1s nice second hand stuff (on eBay or at a nearly new sale - older childrens clothes are always popular at our local one) and use the money to buy dd2 different nice second hand stuff.

I'll be facing this in a coupleof years, dds are currently 3 & 1, but one is dark haired with pale skin & the other is fair with rosey skin, so clothes don't always pass on so well anyway.

controlpantsandgladrags · 28/02/2011 07:40

I often wonder about this. My DDs are 3 and 1 at the moment so too little to realise, but I do worry that I won't get away with the hand me downs for much longer! At the moment I keep everything that DD1 grows out of, but will probably just keep the nicer pieces from now on and either charity shop or ebay the rest. Aside from the hand me down issue I'm running out of space to store it all!

fruitstick · 28/02/2011 07:55

My DSs are 5 and 2. I buy good clothes for DS1 that will last 2 children. Coats, tank tops, knitwear and shirts. These get handed down.

Supermarket jeans and t shirts don't as they don't last (mire due to DS than the clothes as he is fairly good at trashing them. so DS2 gets new t shirts and things.

As he gets older, hopefully he won't notice too much as it really is just dull basics.

cory · 28/02/2011 08:00

I had hand-me-downs and quite liked it. Dcs have never minded; in fact, both dd and I are wearing MILS hand-me-downs atm. So I'd say have a look at the individual child. There will be some children who mind desperately, others like me who simply can't get their heads round worrying about clothes anyway, and yet others like dd who can make any clothes their own.

BlueberryPancake · 28/02/2011 08:10

I get a few nice things for DS2 once in a while. Most hand me downs from big brother but I always buy him a few nice things like special knickers, pjs with toy story on it, a few nice t shirts. I suppose it doesn't matter so much for trousers, they are boys and don't care very much for their clothes!

exoticfruits · 28/02/2011 08:10

I had hand me downs from other people for the eldest and so it was never a problem. I also used to buy second hand clothes and so it was never a case of just the youngest getting them.

BikeRunSki · 28/02/2011 08:12

I have 2 olders DBs and always had their hand me downs, which meant the only dresses/skirts I had for years were party dresses and school uniform. Loved it until I was about 8 or 9, then HATED it. Little sis got lots of lovley frilly new stuff, as nothing ever lasted long enough for her too!.

eden263 · 28/02/2011 08:13

My DS2 wore his brother's old clothes until well into his teens! In fact, he's 16 in a few weeks and still wears some of his brother's old stuff even now! He always got the passed-on toys, bikes etc as well. I have never had much money and he just had to accept this. It certainly didn't reflect how much I valued him as a person and I'm sure given the choice between being able to eat for the week or having a new pair of jeans, he'd have chosen food, TBH. I did buy him a few new bits whenever I could, or if there was something he specifically needed, though.

But nowadays you can get clothes much cheaper in Primark or the supermarkets than you could back then...

Pigleychez · 01/03/2011 17:15

Interesting reading as DD1's clothes are now being used on DD2. They are too young to realise yet at 2.5 and 9mths but ive been wondering how long to keep saving DD1s clothes for? What age do they become aware of thier clothes and get thier own style?

onepieceoflollipop · 01/03/2011 17:18

I am very fortunate in that dd2 (3.5) is still quite happy to wear dd1's hand-me-downs.

As soon as she indicates she isn't (4 year age gap btw) I will have a re think. Probably along the lines of some basics being hand-me-downs but other stuff new/new to us. :)

peeriebear · 01/03/2011 17:25

DD2 gets all of DD1's hand me downs though there is a 5 year age gap, so things get put away in storage for a while before they are handed down (though the storage gap is getting shorter; more often than not I find myself simply putting something outgrown from DD1's laundry pile onto DD2's).
However they usually come to DD1 via my DSister who is only 12 and slight (DD1 is 9, DD2 4). And because my mum is a demon charity shopper the lovely clothes she passes to me (usually Next, Gap, Monsoon, Vertbaudet etc) are usually second hand already! We get a LOT of wear out of the chain of clothes...
And I do buy them both the odd new thing as well :)

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