shouting at your children!

[auntymandy]

We all know its wrong and should never be done, but hey we are human.
Tell me you NEVER yell!

The shame. Another end-of-tether shouter here.

I was going to be such a perfect parent, as well.

is it wrong? i dont think so.

People who weren't shouted at ever as children go to pieces when someone shouts at them, IME. I know a child who never ever has a voice raised to her, EVER, and in a noisy social situation she covers her ears and cries. This isn't the reason her parents never shout btw. They always said they wouldn't, and they stuck to it. Now I think she doesn't know how to handle noise.

I sometimes feel I have gone OTT and then I will apologise and explain why i shouted etc.

I do think me and dp both shout too much though, and as a result all the kids shout all the time.

I feel it is wrong, in principle. Children shouldn't be scared of their parents. However, agree that if children have never heard anyone shouting they will be unable to cope with it when they do encounter it. I'm not sure getting used to shouting is a good thing, though.

If you didnt shout do you think tyou might explode or worse still lash out?

Always have really good intentions of not shouting, but they frequently seem to fly out of the window (along with my patience!!!!)

Postman rang the doorbell once during mid-rant, and when I opened the door I asked him (very stroppily) if he would like to take two small children off my hands - poor man was a bit shell-shocked!!!

Like nutcackle though, I do apologise if I feel I have gone too far!!!!!!!

I usually 'try' to explaim why i was cross and say sorry for handling it the way I did.

I shout. It doesn't particularly bother me that I do. beating is wrong, bullying is wrong, undermining their self esteem is wrong... shouting is pretty harmless as far as I can see!

I wish i didnt do it though

We shout because in the main we don't smack.

OH BOY DO I SHOUT.

I was over run with PMT last week and I jumped up and down on the spot and shouted.

DS just laughed at me.

I keep saying "Shut Up" and then instantly regret saying it, as really don't want them to use it. Yes,I shout but I always say sorry if it is out of proportion to the situation.More of a firm talker,if at all possible!

PMSL at some of these. I once lay on the sofa and had a full blown tantrum at dp over something incredibly trivial.

He just stared at me.

I do think if I didn't shout, I would smack, or run away for ever, or throw things at other things, all of which are worse than shouting IMHO. But then, I was raised in what my friends called a 'loud' house. Someone was always shouting for some reason, but it never scared us, we knew shouting didn't hurt us. It was just another way of speech. We were allowed to shout as well.

mt daughter is friends with next doors kid. she told me last week that they can hear me when ..in her words...." i go on one"

cool, the woman next door needs a rocket up her arse anyway - shes so calm and perfect with her perfect garden with no bike bits in it, and her perfect kids, and her baking and her painted sheds every year and her ...her...... her.. cant think of anything else

My kids are only little, 5 and nearly 2, but I shout at them and I wish I didn't. Whenever I shout or scream, I remind myself of my mother, she used to scare me witless and sometimes I can see myself doing it to my own kids.

DD is used to it now, but I can still see the look of fear behind her eyes when I go off on one and I wish to God that I could learn to control my temper. I do always apologise though, something my mother never did with me.

I shout. And then I shout at the DSs for shouting.

As Philip Larkin said, it deepens like a coastal shelf.

I'm not sure that I do shout at her really, i have snapped at her with a riased voice but I don't really shout at her as such.

When she does her annoying whinge, i just copy the noise she's making which ends up with both of us in fits of giggles, even more so if DP joins in too. If I'm stressed and tense then I'll say in a raised voice 'stop', but to be honest I think that's about the extent of the shouting.
I did shout at her when I was first pregant and felt so bad for ages after when her bottom lip stuck out and quivvered and her ears filled with tears, it was horrible. i'm sure as she gets older I'll shout a lot at her thpough, but she doesn't really do anythng that deserves being yelled at.

I shout at DP at lot though!!

So refreshing to read your comments! After responding to a sad post from House of horrors, think I'll share with you my even better response to shouting (which of course, I plan to eliminate from my daily routine each morning, but forget to by mid day!) DD was playing chess with me(I say playing, she is 5 and it is about our 3rd game and I think she's better than me already!). She started to play around, annoy me (yes, who is the child here!!) so I end up tipping the board over and saying "not playing". I am 43 years of age for god sake! DH came in and asked which child had said that. All laughed and I apologies to DD! Will attempt another more placid game tomorrow!

Pmsl!!!!!

Don't think I would have the patience for chess with a 5 year old

I shout far too much, having 4 LOUD girls all shouting at each other and me in the middle screaming 'STOP SHOUTING RIGHT NOW'

Says it all really!!

i shout but it's when i go really quiet actually and look at the ceiling and start counting that dd really gets worried