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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

At what stage did you.........

33 replies

MissCKitty · 14/02/2011 19:19

put your baby in his/her own room. My 6 week old (she was 4 weeks prem) is having on and off nights when she won't settle and cries when she goes down. She is fed, changed and warm so she's just grizzling. I am happy to work through it as I do all the night feeds and DP sleeps through most of the time. However DP is saying that she shold be in her room by now. He says his son from a previous relationship was in his own room as soon as he came home from hospital and that our baby should be too. I am not comfortable with this as I think she is too small and vulnerable still. What do you think??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Greeninkmama · 14/02/2011 19:30

6 months is the recommendation - for the good reason that sleeping near your baby helps her to regulate her breathing. It reduces the risk of SIDS, so it is important.

I didn't move mine out until 23 months, but that was laziness.

Kitty, go with your own instincts, do - nothing is more important especially when your baby is tiny. You could always tell your DP that you don't want to do things the same way as his ex!

dannid · 14/02/2011 19:30

Our ds went into his own bedroom at 6 weeks and slept through the night from that night onwards! Not sure if that was just coincidence or not...as he still like his slepp now at 3yo and its not uncommon for him to sleep 7.30pm - 9.30am. We only have a small house though and I could hear him from accross the hall very easily (without a baby monitor)if he woke. The first night we did put him into his cot in the new room I did have second thoughts...but figured that if after a while I didn't like it...I could easily bring him back into our room. Luckily, the fact that he slept through the night meant I never looked back! I honestly think its a very personal thing....I had friends whose children stayed in their room till nearly 6 months with no problems when they did move their ds into his own room. Good luck whatever you do decide to do! x

fivegomadindorset · 14/02/2011 19:30

A year for both of them

mrsravelstein · 14/02/2011 19:31

6-8 months for all 3 of mine

ShowOfHands · 14/02/2011 19:32

They recommend at least 6 months.

3.9yr old dd sleeps with us.

reinitindear · 14/02/2011 19:33

4 months dd1 dd2 is 5 months and not planning it for a while yet.I don't remember the 6 month thing when dd1 (11) was born.

LadyintheRadiator · 14/02/2011 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sunndydays · 14/02/2011 19:38

14 weeks here, dd slept through a few nights later

dannid · 14/02/2011 19:47

Am intrigued now as I was never told by our midwife 6mths? Is there any reason for this or is it just personal pref?

ShowOfHands · 14/02/2011 19:50

It's official advice from the Foundation for Study into Infant Deaths. It cuts the risk of SIDS fairly dramatically.

They usually give you a leaflet about it, probably while still pregnant.

HettyAmaretti · 14/02/2011 19:53

6 1/2 months for DD, 7 for DS. In light of the FSID advice I woudln't have been able to sleep a wink for panicking if I'd done it earlier. 'twas scary enough as it was.

Original poster

MissCKitty · 14/02/2011 19:56

hetty my point exactly. I am an anxious person at the best of times and putting baby in her own room now would just kill me. I know it will have to be done at some point but when I'm good and ready.

OP posts:

dannid · 14/02/2011 20:00

Wasn't given that leaflet or told any different by midwife....hmmm...maybe would have done differently if I had known...

SeaChelles · 14/02/2011 20:14

My 20 week old DS went in to his own room for first time last night. It had got to the stage where not only was he disturbing us every time he shuffled - but we were disturbing him too.

I think its more personal preference really and when baby is ready. I know babies that went straight in there own rooms for birth and others who didn't get moved til they were 2.

mousesma · 14/02/2011 20:31

The official guidance is 6 months. Having the baby in the same room as you means that they can hear your breathing which in turn helps regulate their breathing and reduce the SIDS risk.

I moved DD just after 6 months and although she did sleep better in her own bed I would not have slept with worry if I had moved her earlier.

Also I think you might be expecting a bit much of DD, at 6 weeks it is very very common for babies to be unsettled at night. It isn't a problem which needs to be fixed as such, it's just normal 6 week old behaviour.

That being said I do remember the exhaustion of the first few weeks and how frustrating and helpless you feel when you've tried everything and the baby still won't settle so not a criticism :)

FreudianSlippery · 14/02/2011 20:36

I'd definitely not move them before 6m because of the SIDS rules. But I've heard there is risk of SIDS at a higher age too.

My DD stayed in our room until we moved house, just before her first birthday, when she went straight into her own room.

DS is still in our room at 17m but that is partly due to space issues as well as the fact that he's not a good sleeper like DD was. DD is getting a new bed though so in a month or two he'll be out of our room

Bibmother · 14/02/2011 20:43

Mine went into their own room at 10 days and 4 weeks as we both slept better like that and they were right next door so I could hear them if they woke. Personally I just found all the little noises really difficult to sleep through so I'd be awake even if they weren't, also my first woke at the slightest noise so it just worked better for us. I did worry for a night or two but then it was fine...

MsInterpret · 14/02/2011 20:43

6 weeks would have seemed too early for me. I wanted her close enough to BF without getting out of bed!

I agree the recommendation is 6months but I think there's something to be said for going with your instinct.

We were lucky enough to be able to have DD in an adjoining room i.e. just one door between us from 3 months so close enough but helped us sleep through the very small grizzles and then she moved into her own room proper at 9mths, from which point she reliably slept through the night and wasn't feeding.

ceebeegeebies · 14/02/2011 20:49

DS1 - I stuck to the rules rigidly and moved him at 6 months (even though he had been consistently sleeping through from about 2 months).

DS2 - we moved him at 4 months - wasn't planned as such but we had decorated the spare bedroom for DS1 with the plan that he would move out of the nursery, settle in his new room for a month or so before we moved DS2 into the nursery. However, DS1 was desperate for DS2 to move into his old room so we couldn't really see why not as he had been consistently sleeping through from about 3 months). And, I know it sounds selfish, but I was desperate to get my bedroom back so I could start going to bed in the evenings with a good magazine

Tigresswoods · 14/02/2011 21:23

OMG, I can't believe how long some of you had your babies in with you!

DS was 12 weeks and sleeping well.

Original poster

MissCKitty · 15/02/2011 15:04

mousesma the point is I don't want to put her in her own room. I understand that a six week old will cry and grizzle and fuss and I am quite happy to deal with that as it happens. Its my DP that wants to move her and its causing us to fall out. I wanted other mum's opinions and experiences to add a little weight to my side of the argument I think I will stick to my guns and keep her with me - he can go in the nursery!!

OP posts:

Panzee · 15/02/2011 15:05

Give him an Ipod. I used to use on with one ear in to mask the shuffles/grunts etc.

Davsmum · 15/02/2011 15:33

Six weeks is a bit young, especially as she was premature. I would go with your own instincts at this young age,.. not what your partner thinks.
Work towards getting the baby into her own room at 6 months perhaps ? Problem is, very often Mums cannot bear to do that either and the baby ends up being in with them for much longer !
Just a comment,..I am surprised at how many mums think their babies are going to die though if they don't follow all the 'rules'

CinnabarRed · 15/02/2011 15:40

Both of mine were in the their own rooms by 6 weeks. I was well aware of the increased SIDS risk, but both of them were so loud in the night that I literally couldn't sleep. It was like sharing a room with a piglet!

I weighed up the pros and cons and decided that they were more at risk from my falling asleep while driving than from SIDS.

CinnabarRed · 15/02/2011 15:41

I also reversed the monitor, so that the baby could hear noises from our room, IYSWIM. It was recommended by my GP, because it means the baby can still get the benefits of regulated breathing.

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