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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Am i a bad mum with hooligan kids (what do you think)

33 replies

overdraft · 04/10/2005 19:06

We are members of a caravan site.
In the summer my boys were throwing berries at the shower block (which has white walls) anyway they stained the wall.The warden from the site came to our caravan followed by lots of little girls proud to grass up as they do and told us what they had been doing.I asked them and they admitted throwing the berries i told them they shouldn't have and offered to go and clean it up.Warden said don't worry.

Last weekend one of my boys went to the showers filled the sink with water to wash his hands and didn't take the plug out.I have spoke to him and he said sorry i forgot to.I told him to remember next time as it had overflowed and made a mess and he was in trouble..
I am now being told that this is unreasonable behaviour and they are not going to tolorate it.We have broke a site rule and they want to throw us off.
Now i do tell my kids off and on the whole they are good.They are two boys aged 7 and 9. 2 people in real life have laughed and 1 said they couldn't belive the fuss.They never even came up to me about the sink they talked about us behind our backs at a commitee meeting.What do you all think please?

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Original poster

overdraft · 04/10/2005 19:10

oh and the commitee is made up of older people that had young children ages ago

OP posts:

flashingnose · 04/10/2005 19:17

Have they told you in writing or verbally? What rule are you supposed to have broken? From what you've said, their "crimes" sound like perfectly normal naughty behaviour (YKWIM!). Sounds like a bit of an excuse to me - can you elaborate further?

starlover · 04/10/2005 19:19

hmmm well i can see why they would be cross... but having said that I think their response is a bit OTT!

Bear in mind they don't know you, they don;'t know that your kids aren't just troublemakers and they don't know that they aren't going to have to put up with that kind of thing constantly.

However, I do think it would be nicer of them to have given a warning.
Can you talk to them and explain your side of the story and see if they will reconsider?
Perhaps they have had probs with naughty kids before!

Original poster

overdraft · 04/10/2005 19:26

They are going to tell me in writing that will not put up with it and i think i am getting a warning at this point.I do keep my children in check.The whole point of getting the caravan was so my children can have the freedoom to play outside (they can't at home) and now i am a nervous reck.
They are two brothers simply being boys i feel.I don't play behavior like this down because they have been naughty but, this is chillike and i don't see why our future on the site should depend on this.
If they had come up to me i would have sorted it out there and then.I wouldn't have been rude and said bugger off or no not my boys.I don't see how this is such a big thing

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starlover · 04/10/2005 19:37

i think perhaps they can see it escalating into a big "thing" iyswim

for al they know your boys are little thugs! (not suggesting they are at all btw)... but they don't know you!

Just tell your boys that they really need to respect the campsite and that they can't throw things at walls (regardless of if they stain or not!) etc etc

Tell the comittee you've had a chat with them, and then maybe it will all calm down a bit!

Original poster

overdraft · 04/10/2005 19:45

I will have to write to them but yes prhaps i will do that.It just feels like they are picking on mine i suppose.Thanks for you replies xxx

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freakyzebra · 04/10/2005 20:25

Overdraft -- could you supervise them more closely, not let them play beyond a small distance from your caravan? My kids would get up to similar mischief, tbh, and that's why I don't anticipate being able to safely let them out of my sight until much older.

Original poster

overdraft · 04/10/2005 20:33

well the campsite is really small anyway.They are never far away and all the children play all over the site.It is private so no strangers.Yes they will be kept on a tighter lead from now on though until they can be trusted more.

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happymerryberries · 04/10/2005 20:47

I think that their behaviour was not so very dreadful, if it had been happening in your own home. I think the worry that the commitee might have is that other children could also start to throw things around, for example, and that things could escalate IYSWIM. I think that communal areas probably do need a bit stricter control than we would choose in our own homes.

Rather like I have to have tighter control in a classroom for 30 kids than I have at home. larger numbers of kids can egg each other on. Individualy they can be fine IYSWIM

mymama · 05/10/2005 01:33

overdraft I don't think that they are hooligans, just normal boys. That said, you might need to watch them a bit closer so that they can't get up to these things. Is there any sort of bribe or threat you can offer them to behave??? I have 3 children who are feral and drive me crazy because I have to watch them so much.

Tortington · 05/10/2005 01:54

can you get on the committee?
you should ask.

IME committee members are two faces shits usually

i think your boys were being ....err....boys. for gods sake

CeeTee · 05/10/2005 18:23

They are CHILDREN...I think that the committee is overreacting... If the worst thing that kids around the campgrounds do is throw berries & accidently leave the water running than they should be counting their blessings.

Original poster

overdraft · 05/10/2005 18:32

Thanks for your support.I still haven't got the lettter yet but i don't want to seem like i don't care what they do because i do.I just think that these are child things and i do deal with them.If they were throwing stones,fighting with other children i would be really cross.He left the sink full of water and forgot to pull the plug.He didn't even leave it running.I think they really all need to get a life.

As you may have seen i am going through a bad time as it is at the moment and i really don't need this.

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steppemum · 05/10/2005 18:38

Overdraft, I think your boys sound quite normal, and not remotely hooliganish. I suspect the key to this will be your reaction. If you are nice and say "so sorry, my son just forgot to take out the plug. He'll do his best to remember next time" They'll probably calm down. If they are worried about tearaway families, then they will be worried that you will be encouraging them in some way. If you are new to the site, it might just take a while for people to learn that you are really an OK family. Perhaps making friends with some of the oldies might help. They might then get a bit "grandparenty" with the boys and remember what fun boys can be.

Nightynight · 05/10/2005 18:43

if we had a place on a caravan park, by these standards we'd be warned off within a week. Yes, it would be nice if my children behaved perfectly at all times.

CeeTee · 05/10/2005 18:50

I personally think they suck..(the committee that is, not the kids...lol)
I think you are doing a good job by talking to your children & the boys are understanding what they did wrong,& taking responsibility for their actions.
They could be ALOT worse!
Have you talked to the committee yet?
Maybe you should introduce them to the boys so they can see for themselves that they are good kids.

madmummyof2 · 05/10/2005 19:11

i think they sound like perfectky normal boys.
yes they are a bit misceivous and they cause the odd bit of mess but lets be honest what kid doesn't.

if i were you i would leave voluntarily as i wouldnt want my child judged like that by i bunch of morons

Tortington · 06/10/2005 00:18

was talking about the pathetic response by committee to my dh today. He agreed with me that if you were on the committee they wouldnt do this kind of thing - i really think you should give it a go - if you can

highlander · 06/10/2005 11:46

your boys sound lovely. It must be very difficult when you are sharing so many facilities. Surely the committee realise that wee boys are just that and that adult behavour cannot be expected from them yet?

JoolsToo · 06/10/2005 12:03

personally I think you should speak to both parties ie the committee and ask them to come to you straight away if they perceive any problems with your boys so you address the situation and speak to your boys and tell them they must be more vigilant when about the site as lots of other people use it as well - let's face it you don't want overflowing sinks at home!

Personally I would have insisted on washing off the berries and I'd have made the boys help.

ScreamEagle · 06/10/2005 12:13

I am a member of a private caravan site too and we have found that there are 2 or 3 committee members who are so far up their own *rses, it's untrue. They seem to take great pleasure in laying down the law as if they own the place and are full of their own self importance.

As for getting on the committee, well that's a joke as the are all so cliquey no-one else would stand a chance.

Sounds to me like your boys are just like mine - NORMAL. I don't see what more you can do than you have already - you offered to clear up the mess and you know the sink thing was accidental.

Warn your boys to be careful when they are there and that there are busybodies on the lookout to catch kids out. That's what I tell mine!

Tortington · 06/10/2005 17:54

the committee would be voted on i would think. you should find out becuase if its proporting to be representative of the caravan owners on the site then you should be able to democratically have your say.
if you ask wuestions like
how is the committte formed
how is it elested
who gets the minutes
can i have a copy
how do i get a copy of the accounts

then you will have the committee on the back foot.

skinnycow · 06/10/2005 17:59

maybe they've had complaints from other members and they have to follow all complaints up with committee action.

Original poster

overdraft · 07/10/2005 17:14

Screameagle your not on our are you.We have a the same thing.There are a few older members who are on the commitee and spend more time than others on site and have been their for years and thefore they think they own it.We all have equal shares.

Hellmouthcusty none of them are voted on and if new people can get to go on they will have a meeting on there own and then one formal one.They really are a bunch of wicked people

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Tortington · 07/10/2005 20:24

must be a proceedure re: complaining about the committee? who owns the land ?

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