Ah yes, kate - the poisoned carrot. I don't think we do manipulative praise, I really don't. We're big fans of Unconditional Parenting (though in general we recoil a bit from parenting books and 'experts').
That article does say that not all praise is harmful though, and this is quite useful:
*Focus the child on his/her own pleasure at achieving.
Instead of lavishing children with congratulations, it's better if they focus internally on the pleasure they derive from accomplishment. Children are naturally thirsty to achieve, learn and conquer. They are born with an insatiable zest for mastery, and each new attainment fills them with delight. It is this self-enjoyment which provides the greatest fuel for perseverance and further learning. When you see your child do something new, it can be wonderfully encouraging and supportive to say: "you look like you enjoyed that!", or: how did it feel to do that?". "I'm glad you did that, you look happy with yourself!".
*Help him/her to self-evaluate.
Whenever possible, it is a good idea to ask your child about their own self-evaluation. For instance: "how do you like your drawing?", "are you happy with how that piece fits into the puzzle?".
*Ask them about their inner experiences.
Say, for instance, your child reads you a story he just composed. After sharing how the story made you feel, you could ask: "How do you feel about the story you wrote?", "How did it feel to write it?", "Did you enjoy telling it?", "How did you come up with those ideas for your story?". There are few things so nourishing to your child's self-esteem, and so enriching to your relationship with him, than your interest in his inner world of feeling and imagination.
*Use "I" statements, instead of labeling the child.
Your appreciation touches your child more deeply when it is expressed in terms of your feelings. For instance: "I like the colors you chose!", or "I love how you sang that song!" - instead of: "what a good drawer you are!", or "gee you're a good singer". Avoid labeling statements like: "Good boy for sharing your toys!". Say instead: "thanks for sharing with your friend, that felt good to him - and to me". Focus on your feelings, not on a moral or quality-oriented label. An "I" statement keeps you from holding a position of power over your child. It creates an honest and fulfilling connection between you while not interfering with their experience of themselves.
*Comment on the behavior, not on the person.
Feedback and acknowledgment are definitely important. Imagine your child has just played you a new piece she has learned on the piano. Instead of saying: "What a good player you are!", you could tell her how much you enjoyed the piece. Better still, be specific. Tell her what in particular you liked about her playing (e.g. the passion or emotion, the beautiful melody, how carefully she played, her sense of rhythm, etc.)