Please help. Baby never sleeps...

[NinjaTurtle]

I Have also posted this in Sleep.

I have a 5 week old DD who doesn't seem to sleep. She probably manages around an hour a day in total, the rest of the time seems to be spent either feeding or screaming for food (she's ff). A typical day consists of getting up between 9 and 10 (although she's generally woken before this time) going downstairs and getting dressed, then she usually wants feeding, then she is alert and playful in her bouncy chair for an hour or so, before she starts becoming restless again.

She seems to prefer to feed little and often, so she might have 2oz, then want the other 2oz half an hour later. After being fed around lunchtime, she tends to be unsettled for most of the afternoon, maybe having a short nap, and obviously being fed in between. She cannot go more than about 2 hours without being fed, unless I'm out with her in the pram.

In the evenings she has been screaming pretty much constantly, although this has improved the last couple of nights. Sometimes she will fall asleep in her bouncy chair at around 7, waking around an hour later for a feed, then another at around 9.30. I usually take her up to bed when I go at 10.30. Sometimes she will sleep from this time until around midnight, others she will want feeding.

Night time is horrendous at the moment. I cannot cope with it. I am on my own during the night, so it is only me getting up. Last night, for example, she wouldn't settle until 2am from going upstairs at 10.30, she wanted to be fed constantly. After going off at 2, she woke at 4.30, went back off after a feed at 5.15, then woke for more milk at 6.30, and she has been awake ever since, alternating between screaming and laid next to me just staring. How can she go this long without sleep? Since yesterday morning she has only slept for a maximum of 5 hours. It is becoming increasingly difficult to cope, I'm left crying in frustration in the early hours, through lack of sleep and not knowing what to do. I have wondered about trying hungry baby formula (she's currently on SMA gold).

On top of this, she is also pretty snuffly at times, and when it gets bad, she struggles to feed, which makes her angry and she screams even more. She also seems to get hiccups at least twice a day, spits up a lot during and after feeds, and up until a couple of days ago, was projectile vomiting generally once a day. She seems to be pretty flatulent too, and occasionally seems to have a bit of constipation. I am seeing the health visitor on Tuesday, but I'm not sure I can cope for that long.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I'm sorry it's so long.

You should ask your HV whether she has reflux

Hiccups, Projectile vomiting, restless and unsettled screaming Baby can often be because of digestive discomfort

Don't move her to hungry baby milk - that won't solve anything

It is very, very hard when you have a non sleeping baby

Have you got anyone who can help today?

So many things it could be. Is she drawing her legs up as though she's in pain? May be colic.
Maybe the formula doesn't suit her - personally I would recommend Aptamil. At 5 weeks I doubt she needs hungry baby formula.
And if she is vomiting I would get her checked out. Have you spoken to your Health Visitor? You shouldn't be left to struggle with this.

Thanks for the replies. My dad has taken her out for a couple of hours to give me a rest, but I'm just dreading her coming back, which I know sounds awful, but I'm extremely fragile at the moment :(

Ne11 Originally I thought it probably was colic, but she has been on Infacol for about 3 weeks now and it doesn't seem to be making a difference. I am going to ring the health visitor tomorrow and see if she can come out to see me, as the drop in isn't until Tuesday and I haven't been very well the last few days (to top it all off!) and I don't want to be around lots of babies and give them something nasty.

I've been researching cranial osteopathy, does anyone have any experience of this? Either positive or negative? I'm willing to try anything at this stage, I've ordered an Amby Nest this morning out of desperation. She was pretty good for the first couple of weeks, only waking 3 times a night, settling quickly after feeding and napping during the day, but she just seems to have deteriorated :(

Huge sympathies, my DD was a "non-sleeper" and if it is of any reassurance, it definitely does get better, although it is soooo hard at the moment!

My DD was colicky and we found that carrying her in an upright position in a sling made so much difference, is that something you could maybe try? this is the kind of sling we had, and it changed our lives!

I don't know much about formula, but I had heard that hungry baby was really for older ones. If she does have colic or reflux, sometimes feeding them more makes it worse

Do you have any family nearby or friends who can help?

Have just cross posed with you, OP!

We took DD for cranio-sacral therapy, it was amazing and she slept for about 3 hours solid after the first session! I would have tried anything!

It worries me that you say you are dreading her coming back, although I can totally see what you mean! Definitely mention this to your HV (do you have a nice one?) because my lovely HV was worried about lack of sleep and PND... you need to take good care of yourself.

And in the meantime, try to get some sleep, MN will still be here later! and a "un-MN" hug x

It could be reflux. As ruby says, the signs indicate it could be. Infacol wont help - ask your HV and see what she thinks. You can get infant gaviscon for a starter. Also ask her about comfort milks which are easier to digest. Hungry baby milk will be harder for an older baby to digest and can make things worse.

Also two hourly feeding seems quite normal to me - especially at that age when there is a growth spurt.

You say she's restless after an hour after waking. Tiny babies can usually only manage about an hour of being awake before needing to sleep again, especially in the morning. I used to stick DS in a sling and he'd drop off.

The screaming and unsettledness plus staring is exactly what my DS did. He got overtired very easily (and had reflux). Only way it got better was getting him to take regular naps and not keeping him awake more than an hour. Two hours he could manage in the afternoon. But I had to put him in the sling so he could fall asleep if he needed to.

Also consider getting a dummy. I was anti - dummy but with his reflux and overtiredness, it was a life saver. Combination of sling, dummy and fresh air would send him to sleep in ten minutes.

sorry I meant hungry baby milk will be harder for a younger baby to digest

I used cranial sessions for my DD and it made her more settled

It wasn't a magic cure but it helped make feedings less frenzied

Alright iggly? must pop over to the PN thread x

Oh, dear, how horrible for both of you. I would take her to the GP to exclude colic/reflux, ear infection, etc.

If that isn't it, have you thought about just simple overtiredness? If she doesn't get a nap at the right time, she'll be overtired and then will be wired until she crashes, and it will be hard for her to get restful sleep. Overtiredness from lack of daytime sleep makes the nights hell.

You say she starts to get restless an hour after waking up/breakfast I would try to put her down then. Put her in her bouncer, pram, sling whatever works. Eventually it will probably be good to teach her to sleep in her cot (if that's what you want) but at this young age, I think anything goes. Her taking a nap in the pram, sling or bouncy chair might not help you nap while she's napping but it might make her nights more settled, resulting in more sleep for you in the end.

I would not suggest letting her cry it out at that age (I don't think anyone would!) but you could wait and see if she settles -- I was sometimes surprised by my DD at that age. I would put her in her Moses basket because I needed to do something (like go to the bathroom) and I would be rushing because I needed to get her, but by the time I got to her she was sleeping. I wouldn't leave her to cry but that doesn't mean you can't wait and see whether she needs to fuss a little as she falls asleep. Some babies are too stimulated by people to fall asleep while they're being soothed.

I didn't know it when my DD was so little, but they really can only be awake for 90 minutes to two hours. I was always trying to soothe her with activity when what she needed was sleep. (I even have pictures of her where she looks absolutely knackered, but I didn't know at the time.)

Sorry if this is an obvious thing that you've already tried, but I wish someone had told me back then.

Good luck to both of you. These early days are hard on everyone -- it is so hard to be tiny.

pookamoo I'm not dreading her coming back as such, more dreading how unsettled she's going to be for the rest of the day, and probably tonight too.

I haven't managed to get any sleep, for some reason I just can't drop off, so I'm currently hoping for a miracle!

I have my mother around who helps quite a bit, she did take her out in the pram on some days to give me a break, but with the terrible weather recently, this hasn't been possible really. My dad and his partner have her for a few hours each Saturday, which gives me something to aim for because I know I get some respite. I have a sling, she just screams when she is in it, so that doesn't seem to be a solution unfortunately. She does have a dummy, but it only pacifies her for shorts periods before she spits it out and begins crying again.

She does sleep for a bit in the pram and in the car, but at the moment I'm so exhausted, I can't face the idea of going for a walk, plus it's been raining here constantly for a week at least. Other than the pram when moving, she doesn't seem to like being laid flat, even at night she will only settle in her cot if I put her in it once she has already fallen asleep. I have tried putting her down in the moses basket or cot during the day for naps, but she doesn't settle herself, just cries for ages. I wish there was a miracle cure. I love her more than anything, and seeing her smile makes it worthwhile, but I don't feel like this when she's screaming at 4am :(

ninja, keep trying with the dummy. Worth trying different brands. Also the sling - put her in when she's happy to get her used to it. Check to make sure it's not pinching her legs or squashing her too much.

Will she settle on your chest?

You poor thing.

Re: the dummy. Neither of my DD's have ever taken a dummy but I do use one to put DD2 to bed as it sends her off to sleep. I basically have to hold it in her mouth to stop it popping out and she will drift off with it in.

I have to stress there is no force involved and she's not attempting to spit it out, it just seems to pop out constantly with the force of her sucking. So, if it doesn't distress her then you could try gently holding it in?

The other thing that has always got my DD's off to sleep is white noise, specifically the hairdryer!

Igglybuff She sometimes settles on my chest, but sometimes she doesn't like being on her stomach, other times she will settle ok, but then when she gets put down, she will usually wake again.

I will try again with the sling when she's in a good mood, if she ever is in one!

I was going to suggest letting her sleep on your chest during th day while you sit down for the nap. Also are you winding her for long enough? I used to have to rub DS's back in big circles for at least twenty mins to get a good burp. Smacking them hard on the back was too much!
Also putting down-I'd have DS on my chest, and lay out a blanket to swaddle him. Then slowly lower onto the blanket while holding quite close until the last minute then quickly wrap him. They also say tucking a muslin between you and baby during feeds then putting near their head in the Moses basket helps (I didn't try myself).
DS would never settle if not winded.

Another option is to lay them down on their left hand side as easier on the tummy after a feed and feels more cosy.

Are you sure that she really is always hungry when you are feeding her? I would have thought by 5 weeks if she was then she should want more than 2oz. Also I don't see why being in the pram would stop her being hungry? I definitely wouldn't put her on hungrier baby.

DD was a nightmare with feeding at this age - I was trying to get her into a routine but she just wouldn't have it. I just had to feed her exactly when she wanted and she gradually got better.

Don't be scared to try changing the formula, I think different ones suit different babies. My daughter was better on SMA than C&G because she seemed to find it less filling.

I do try to wind her for a while, but she begins to get restless when being winded, I try her up on my shoulder and sat on my lap, but earlier on it was like it was too uncomfortable on her tummy to do either.

A couple of people, and a previous poster, have suggested perhaps switching to Aptamil, or maybe a comfort formula, but I shall wait and see what the HV advises and go from there. Does anyone have any experience of that formula that is available on prescription? Enfamil maybe?

My dd was similar to this for a while and it turns out she has silent reflux. I swapped to Cow and Gate Comfort and she has been prescribed Gaviscon, she is like a different baby. Much more contented, takes full 6oz feeds, naps well in the day and sleeps well at night (she is now 16 weeks).

I was advised not to try Hungrier Baby as it has no more calorific value than the normal milk, but has more bulk to make it harder to digest, so they will take less calories throughout the day as they feel full for longer.

Try asking for a prescription of Gaviscon, even if it's just enough sachets for a couple of days, I saw an improvement immediately and it won't harm her if it isn't reflux.

I could have written your post when my dd was 5 weeks old. I was out of my mind, and getting no help from either my GP or HV, who were both of the "babies do cry" mentality. It was only when I googled all the symptoms and "reflux" kept coming up that I realised what must be going on for her - I'd never heard of reflux before then. Everything you've said points to reflux - including being snuffly and so not able to feed. The acid from the reflux can make them produce excess mucus, which is worse when they're lying down (I found all this out later from reading up on it)- my dd was waking up continuously, not able to breathe properly, because of this - it was horrendous. My dp and I were taking it in turns during the night to sit up with her sleeping on our chest, it was the only way she could sleep. Also, they want to feed constantly as it soothes the pain of the acid, but this creates more acid so it's a vicious circle In the end, at about 6 weeks, I took a list of all her symptoms to A&E as I was getting nowhere with the GP/hv, and she was put on medicine for reflux, which helped a lot, although the feeding and sleeping was never great until she grew out of it at about 10 months.
Look at some reflux websites (Kellymom was good), and really push for getting it taken seriously - for me, it brought on bad PND and I'm sure this wouldn't have happened if I'd felt listened to sooner. I really really feel for you - good luck!

Just a quick update. I went to see the Dr yesterday, got a prescription for Colief and Gaviscon and have also switched to Aptamil Comfort milk. Last night she slept from 11.30-3.30 and then 4.30 until around 7, then napped on and off until 9.30ish. Great, but unfortunately I didn't manage to get off to sleep very quickly, so I'm still very tired!

It seems that she has now decided to give me hell in the evenings instead. She has been screaming non-stop since about 5pm. I've tried everything, she just will not stop. I'm so tired, I'm barely functioning. I don't know what more I can do.

one thing you'll hear many mums saying down the line is 'I dont know how I did it'

A new born and up to around the 3 month mark can often be relentless!

That's the word I used to describe how it was with DS. He was BF, fed every 1.5 hours and didnt sleep for more than 10 mins at a time in the day. I was completely on my own with him and still am but I cant tell what a joy it is when you get thru these first few months.

I wish I could give you a hug or help in some way but I just want to reassure you that it is all sooooo worthwhile :-) They are a complete joy once you get past this stage.

Hang on in there kiddo xxxx

ninja, how often are you trying to feed her? It is not unusual for tiny babies like yours to want to cluster feed in the evening. DD was/is FF and she used to cluster feed just like BF babies do. She would scream the house down if her milk wasnt forthcoming.

have you got a swaddle? reflux babies generally love a swaddle. It is soothing to them and helps them settle. If not, get a thin blanket or flat cot sheet and follow these directions to made a swaddle

www.babycentre.co.uk/photo_galleries/how-to-swaddle-your-baby/. Also you might want to look at getting a wedge for her basket or cot. Basically it is a foam triangle that goes under the mattress and elevates her head/chest slightly. It is very soothing for a reflux baby. Alternatively you could put a few books under one end of the basket or cot so she is on about a 15 degree angle.

Winding can also be an art with reflux babies. Dont pat her back, rub it firmly in circles. Patting and wacking just irritates the eusophegus more.

Does she have a bouncy chair? A lot of reflux babies find it much easier to sleep in the slightly upright position the bouncy chair affords.

I hope she has settled down a bit now and you are able to get some sleep.

Both my DDs were like this. Both times it was colic. It feels never ending and I do sympathise-keep at it with the colief-it really worked for me, but it does take a few days to settle in. I fed both on demand-breast-and both fed around every two hours. The second time it was easier as I knew it would get better, but even then I said to DH a few times 'why did we have another baby?'
Do you know any other new mums locally? With my first, I used to meet up with an NCT friend every day for a coffee and a cry-sounds awful but it was a life saver!

IT WILL PASS!!XX