Please help. Baby never sleeps...

[NinjaTurtle]

I Have also posted this in Sleep.

I have a 5 week old DD who doesn't seem to sleep. She probably manages around an hour a day in total, the rest of the time seems to be spent either feeding or screaming for food (she's ff). A typical day consists of getting up between 9 and 10 (although she's generally woken before this time) going downstairs and getting dressed, then she usually wants feeding, then she is alert and playful in her bouncy chair for an hour or so, before she starts becoming restless again.

She seems to prefer to feed little and often, so she might have 2oz, then want the other 2oz half an hour later. After being fed around lunchtime, she tends to be unsettled for most of the afternoon, maybe having a short nap, and obviously being fed in between. She cannot go more than about 2 hours without being fed, unless I'm out with her in the pram.

In the evenings she has been screaming pretty much constantly, although this has improved the last couple of nights. Sometimes she will fall asleep in her bouncy chair at around 7, waking around an hour later for a feed, then another at around 9.30. I usually take her up to bed when I go at 10.30. Sometimes she will sleep from this time until around midnight, others she will want feeding.

Night time is horrendous at the moment. I cannot cope with it. I am on my own during the night, so it is only me getting up. Last night, for example, she wouldn't settle until 2am from going upstairs at 10.30, she wanted to be fed constantly. After going off at 2, she woke at 4.30, went back off after a feed at 5.15, then woke for more milk at 6.30, and she has been awake ever since, alternating between screaming and laid next to me just staring. How can she go this long without sleep? Since yesterday morning she has only slept for a maximum of 5 hours. It is becoming increasingly difficult to cope, I'm left crying in frustration in the early hours, through lack of sleep and not knowing what to do. I have wondered about trying hungry baby formula (she's currently on SMA gold).

On top of this, she is also pretty snuffly at times, and when it gets bad, she struggles to feed, which makes her angry and she screams even more. She also seems to get hiccups at least twice a day, spits up a lot during and after feeds, and up until a couple of days ago, was projectile vomiting generally once a day. She seems to be pretty flatulent too, and occasionally seems to have a bit of constipation. I am seeing the health visitor on Tuesday, but I'm not sure I can cope for that long.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I'm sorry it's so long.

with bad reflux, they try gaviscon first but if it doesnt help (it didnt for us) they should move onto other medicines fairly quickly. Try to keep your baby upright (slings are good) or lying with head end of cot raised, it'll help ease the pain for her. You WILL get through it but it takes a while.

Hi Ninja, you have my sympathy, I have a 5 month old who also is poor at sleeping. When he was born he screamed constantly unless he was feeding. Luckily(?) for us our DS2 who has SN had already been through every respite for reflux so I felt able to go to GP and demand ranitidine (Zantac liquid). This worked like magic. He changed from being the unhappiest baby in the world into a smilely wonderful boy. If you have tried gaviscon (never worked for me) I suggest you try asking for ranitidine. Has she been checked for a cleft palate/tonsils/adenoids? Again DS2 was found to have problems in these areas when he was 18 months and it had affected his feeding. We found that a HABERMAN bottle sorted out his feeding issues. Should be able to get these from HV - maybe worth a try anyway?

DS 3 on hungry baby formula - has made a difference to him.

Just hold on in there and remember that this WILL pass even if it seems unending torture at the minute.

Hi, just another update. She doesn't seem to be improving much, the only difference is that she isn't bringing up as much of her feeds as before. I guess that's progress. The colic seems to be getting worse if anything, she cries on and off all day, then screams between 5pm and 9pm. Swaddling doesn't seem to do the trick, unfortunately. It calmed her slightly last night, so I might persevere with that for the time being. Trying to get through to the Drs this morning for another appointment, going to ask for ranitidine, as a PP suggested, and hope it makes more difference than the Gaviscon.

I don't like what I'm turning into. I'm fine when she gets up and has her alert and smiley time, but by about 11am, she is crying for the day and it's making me very miserable. I try to tell myself that this will pass, but I just find myself thinking 'she is going to be like this again tomorrow'. I try taking it one day at a time and remain optimistic, but it's hard. The other mums I know seem to have babies who sleep. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong :(

With my DD, we discovered she had silent reflux - Infacol didn't work but Infant Gaviscon worked wonders. But the best thing that enabled her to sleep was an automatic swing set on the highest setting (we used a Graco model) - as soon as we put her in that she started napping for a few hours at a time and it then helped her night time sleep in the moses basket. Many people object to the swing but it worked for our DD and taught her how to sleep, imo. Her early evening colic (screaming) reduced considerably too with Infant Gaviscon and the automatic swing.

Forgot to add: the automatic swing plus a CD of white noise. Worked wonders.

Ninja my nephew was as you describe and I can remember my sister just handing him to me (I used to take him for a walk after work)and saying "just take him away". It got to the point where she could no longer even bear to hear him cry. I would wheel him in his pram and he would just scream the entire time. She took him to a cranial osteopath in the end, who said his neck was cricked, which was affecting his entire digestion and causing him pain. The cranial osteopath made such a difference.

I myself had a screamer with reflux, and I think the only solution for me was to keep her upright after every feed for at least 3/4 hour. She wanted to suck all the time. In the end I had her perpetually in a sling. She was also completely hysterical with over tiredness so I tried to get her to sleep by going for a walk with the sling - anything was worth it to give her the sleep she needed. I think she screamed to start with in the sling, but soon settled down there if I walked. In time she became a child/baby who needed loads of sleep, and slept very very well. I think I underestimated how desperate she was to sleep and how much that affected her disposition. Big hugs to you, it is truly terrible and it is not your fault.

My DD was like this but breastfed and she had reflux.

My DS is 20 weeks and first 6 or 7 weeks always hard so you almost there, hopefully before you see some improvement.

Worth trying GP re infant gaviscon on presciption for reflux.

Would also try spacing feeds a bit so drinks more at a feed time.

I fed on demand each time but for DD this was 24/7 and exhausting. With formula, might be worth asking HV for "spacing" advice between feeds.

Hope it gets better soon

Colief (also available on prescription or £12 for tiny bottle in boots) also good.

Would a dummy work? KNow some people against them but both my children been very "sucky" and comfort eating caused wind for them both.

Thanks for the replies. Been back to the doctor today, have been given some more Colief and she is being tried on liquid Zantac (can't remember the proper name off the top of my head), because we weren't really getting anywhere with the Gaviscon.

I've ordered an Amby Hammock swing, should be arriving this week sometime, maybe she will sleep in that better (here's hoping!) and I've been taking her out in her pram lots because she sleeps well in that.

pamelat We were told by the doctor not to feed her more than every 3 hours, which is working out ok, she often goes 4 hours now if we are out and she's asleep in the pram. Have got a dummy, makes some difference and calms her slightly, because she is 'sucky' too, sucks her hands if she doesn't have her dummy.

I've booked an appointment with the osteopath, going on Thursday, so fingers crossed that this will help somewhat too, I'm not expecting miracles, but even a slight improvement would be great. It's beginning to wear me down a bit now. Hopefully this is the worse it's going to be and it's onwards and upwards from here.

Just like to say NinjaTurtle, I take my hat off to you! I had a really difficult DC, who only slept for 20min spells, fed very well but something was bothering him & we never managed to put finger on it, we tried gaviscon, cranial osteopath, private paediatrican.....chamilla drops from the herbal shop seemed to help a bit (for windy, colicky babies) But I had DH at home a lot of the time as had our own business & without him I would have gone bonkers. So blumming well done for coping so extremely well, even if you don't feel like you are!
We've got another due very soon & me & DH are so anxious about going through it all again.....so hoping we've had the little devil now it's time for a little angel!!

Thanks bubbakin, I honestly don't know how I have managed for this long, the evenings seem endless, but I'm getting there slowly but surely. I hope your new addition is much easier for you! After this experience, I am in awe of anyone who copes with a newborn plus older child/ren. Just wondering though, what exactly happens at a cranial osteopath appointment? Do they pinpoint what they think the issue is? I would have asked this when I booked it, but I was in a hurry to attend another appointment.

It's all quite wierd as it's done using their hands & feeling alignment of the baby. We used to lie DS on the bed & the osteopath would put his hands on his head in certain positions - it's not painful for Little one or anything. And he'd also put hands on babies tummy. It's all to do with realigning them after the birth. We took Ds from around 10weeks (i think - it's a bit of a blur what happened when!) It obviously does do something, as DS would often have an almighty bowel movement either during or soon after each visit! We did 4 or 5 appointments & then decided that the benefits ( a poo!!) didn't outweigh the cost of it. We found DS was worse for a few days after the appointment then would see slight signs of improvement & then it would be time for the next appointment!! But do know of babies that were 'transformed' after it! Do have a look for camilla drops, not sure how they work but do seem to soothe baby.
Let us know how the appointment goes x

My babies were both just the same. The second would take a dummy which was a wonderful and I also bought a white noise machine which comes in a teddy bear. Take it out of the bear and turn it up loud. It turns itself off after a few minutes and reactivates itself if the baby cries - lifesaver! My babies settled once they could burp by themselves. Used an osteopath and did find it helpful. They say it works best before 8 weeks of age. It's a very lonely time and hard to imagine that life gets better. You will have your time when your child is sleeping and all those perfect babies around you stop sleeping. Jiggling, slings, swaddling - all worth trying. I found The Happiest Baby book very helpful. Feel for you!

I second the Happiest Baby book - excellent advice for soothing newborns.

Oh this thread is taking me back. I consider the newborn weeks of my DD such frustrating times: my DH has still saved the texts I sent him from that time when I used to text him 3 or 4 times a day swearing at him and saying, "I can't take this sh*t anymore, we need to hire a nanny NOW!" Everytime my DD cried I cringed. I was so anxious ALL of the time.

The embarrassing about it was that she was actually such an EASY baby and certainly the easiest baby out of all the NCT babies in the group. It was me who couldn't cope with early motherhood.

And it all passed by so quickly. By 3 months she was sleeping and napping and feeding beautifully. Now at 2.4 years old she is fantastic. I now wish I had enjoyed her more in her first months.

PS) My DD (now 2.9) was like this and not easy at all, DS (5 months) is a doddle!! You can get angelic ones after devil ones

just realised "devil" sounds harsh, more in response to bubbakin, as in "little devil"

Just another update. The ranitidine no longer seems to be making any difference, she is still very unsettled, has started bringing up little bits of milk after feeds again and when she brings up wind. Colic not really improving. The amby hammock has arrived, and seems to settle her, so that's good I guess, but seemingly because she was settled in that in the evening, she wouldn't settle at night. She didn't go off until midnight, woke at 2.30 for a feed, then woke at 4 for no real reason, then around every half an hour until 7.

She now seems to have decided that she doesn't like me, she will settle for my mother better and often won't accept feeds off me, but will off my mum.

We went to the cranial osteopath appointment yesterday, they said they couldn't find much wrong from an osteopathy point of view, but she did tweak a couple of things. DD seemed to enjoy the treatment and fell asleep! However, there has been no improvement since, in fact, after last night, it's worse (although it could be a coincidence). Having another session on Monday, but if there's no further improvement, I think we will just abandon the idea.

I'm now fastly approaching the end of my tether, am convinced she hates me, and I'm just wishing, at times, that I had my old life back and I spend most days pretty miserable. I know it's not her fault, but I didn't ask for this either. It's hard. People say it improves after 12 weeks, but I can't bear the thought of another
6 weeks of this. The thought depresses me. I know I should probably go speak to my GP about this, but I don't see how they can help, I don't want to talk about it with a stranger, and I can't see how medication will help me.

Oh dear you sound exhaughsted and it is understandable that you are going to feel down, tearful and rejected when you have been with a crying baby and sleep deprived for quite a few weeks. Your baby certainly doesn't hate you, she wouldn't know how to if she tried but she might be picking up on some of your stress. Have you been checked out for PND? I struggled with a baby who seemed to cry endlessly and it only improved once I stuck to a fairly structured routine. I know its not for everyone but it worked for me and am sure saved my sanity and also my dd went from a baby who cried constantly to a much happier calmer baby. In the early days the routine was up between 7-8am, wash, dress and feed for baby
9am put dd back to bed, dark and quiet room.
10am dd was awake and another feed
try and keep dd awake until midday- poss a bit more milk is she was unsettled and then back to bed and really encouraged this to be a longish sleep (at least an hour)
another feed about 3ish
another sleep for half an hr if she is fussing a lot
then bath about 6ish, more milk and then aim to put her into bed for 7pm.

You might find that your dd is getting very overstimulated at the mo and if you have a few quiet days at home with her and just work on getting her to sleep more in the day by putting her in the cot at regular times when the room is quiet and dark she will also sleep better at night.

Also just thought def invest in a swaddling blanket as dd wouldn't sleep unless she was tightly swaddled until she was 5-6monnths!!!
And also for got to say at night at this age I would feed her once at about 10pm and again at about 3am. And dd had a dummy!!!

just to say you have my full sympathy. It gets to the point where you can't think straight and there is nothing worse than not beeing able to pacify your child.

My thoughts are:

tongue tie
dairy intolerance
protein intolerance
severe colic

What is the growth/weight gain like? Have you tried contacting the health visitor early. They will take all the measurements in the 6-8 week check so any diet problems will be reviewed then.

My children were very allergic to cows milk and screamed 24 hours a day, unstable feeding, poor weight gain but my gp refused to recognise despite the family history. It took a paed but now 10 years on i think the doctors are better.

I really hope it sorts out soon for you.

just saw your last message - if you are getting no luck (and its been going on a while now) go to a and e and get seen by the paediatricians. They were the only ones to sort it out for me after weeks of desperation.

poor you - you sound exhausted. My children are all grown up, but I just wanted to pop in and say that I agree with girliefriend completely, I think you just need to get into some sort of routine.

I think I was just like you with DS1 - the constant crying cut through to me like pain, and I just wanted to 'solve' it - by reading up on all possible causes, trying different options - cots, baskets, swings, slings etc and my sheer exhaustion meant I was panicky, stressed etc which probably passed onto DS.

Someone described it to me very well - just imagine it from your baby's perspective: for 9 months they have been inside you, in the warmth, the dark, with that comforting heartbeat. Every day is the same.
Suddenly they're out in the harsh, bright, noisy world and everything is frightening and constantly changing. They feel detached from mummy (that's why the chest-sleeping is comforting - they can hear the familiar heartbeat again). The tightness of swaddling is comforting. The movement of a pram is like being inside you when you were walking about.

I'm sorry, and I really don't mean this to sound harsh, but I think it sounds as if (in your desperation and exhaustion) that you are chopping and changing, and simply trying to hard to 'solve a problem' (which may, or may not, exist).

Can you slow down a bit, put a plan/routine together, and then stick to it religiously for a couple of weeks? Then your baby will have comfort in knowing what to expect each day - what comes next- and how to react to it.
With my DS1 I was just like you. With DS2 I just let myself succumb to whatever he needed, and tried to stop fretting (easy to say, I know ). But he was much calmer (after the initial few weeks of screaming).

It's a viscious circle unfortunately, as your baby will sense your stress, and that will unsettle her. It's great that your Mum and Dad can help. Is there anyone else who can take her for a walk for a couple of hours a day just to give you a break?