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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

daughter screaming from 6am - advice needed!

89 replies

MiniPharm · 17/09/2010 11:51

For the past week my 2.5-year old daughter has started screaming the house down when she wakes at 6am. She's always woken at this time but until recently was happy enough playing with her toys and books until we got up (about 7.30am). The new behaviour coincides with us finally getting rid of her dummy. She makes so much noise that our upstairs neighbours have complained, and obviously it's awful for my partner and me having to listen to her. She just screams/shouts/cries until we finally get up. We've tried lots of things - going through to her room to explain that she needs to be quiet, giving her books to read, taking away her toys, giving her milk etc etc - but nothing has worked and it's creating a really unpleasant situation where we're all exhausted and fed up before we've even started the day. She's definitely old enough to realise what she's doing and I just don't know how to stop it.

has anyone got any ideas? i'd be very grateful.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NonnoMum · 17/09/2010 20:57

Completely baffled by this thread.

Who are these people who don't get up til 8am? Or think toddlers can entertain themselves reading War and Peace or whatever whilst Ma and Pa gently slumber on?

I thought differing sleep pattens came with the terrority of parenthood. But maybe it's a regional thing?

Girlsworld · 17/09/2010 20:58

My goodness, I am so incredibly of all of you! DD (19mo) wakes every day at 5.30am, a minute of snuffling, then a blast of top-of-lungs wailing which we are yanked awake by and have to leap out of bed and get her asap. Every morning without exception starts this way. I can literally count on one hand the number of times we have woken naturally before she has in her entire life

So we get not only the super-early starts, but awoken by shrieking (she is perfectly happy and all gurgles and giggles as soon as we appear BTW and is a very happy baby otherwise).

6am is an unattainable dream to us. It might not solve your prob OP but I hope it makes you feel better in some way!

nannylocal · 17/09/2010 21:03

Don't know how to break this to you Nonnomum...but toddlers can entertain themselves. Probably not with War and Peace though...that may be where you're going wrong.

Also I think I once read something in the paper that said the average time to get up was an hour earlier in London than in the North or something...so maybe it is regional?!

lukewarmcupoftea · 17/09/2010 21:13

That doesn't mean that toddlers in London need an hours less sleep though (or vice versa). I doubt there are regional differences in sleep requirements. Hence why the bed time info is needed.

If the child is screaming and being ignored then that isn't 'entertaining themselves quietly' is it?

JillyCoopersJoyousOtter · 17/09/2010 21:14

Frankly, you sound bonkers OP.

Not very sound advice but in my inflexible world and my regional area you would be considered very strange.

A) give your dd back her dummy. You can't have it all ways, and if the dummy makes things easier use it, you can't just have the hump because your dd has now had her comfort taken away and has reacted to it. What did you expect.
B) get a tele in her room if want some peace.
C)put her in bed with you when she wakes up.

Your poor dd is probably starving after all night in bed, has a wet nappy and wants company. You're cruel just to leave her cry just because your inflexible on a wakeup time. I'm not seeing what else your expecting posters to say, and I'm not sure apart from actually getting up and seeing to your own child you'll solve the situation.

HeadFairy · 17/09/2010 21:16

I must confess to snoozing gently on the sofa while ds watches endless episodes of Fireman Sam, but that was in the old days when dd slept until 8am (happy days - sigh)

That still doesn't help you does it op?

pointydog · 17/09/2010 21:23

My two dds always woke up at 6 until they were close to school age. I think you should just get up.

pointydog · 17/09/2010 21:27

Ok. I've just caught up with your stance on this matter.

Giver her her dummy back if it's that important to you. Really.

jollyma · 17/09/2010 21:30

I consider 7am morning since dc but didn't get up that early before. Ds2 wakes upto an hour before, but usually about 6.3o and will play in his cot happily. What has worked for us is having a clock radio that comes on at 7 to mark morning when we all get up and go downstairs. We did start with slightly earlier times and work towards 7. If the music isn't on its not morning.

FrameyMcFrame · 17/09/2010 21:32

What about getting her a toddler bed so she can get up herself and amuse herself or join you and Dad in bed for cuddles in the morning?

I have to add though that 6 is a normal wake up time for kids at that age.
My Ds gets up at 4.30 occasionally and I have no choice but to get up with him or he wakes his sister and Dp.

IsItMeOr · 17/09/2010 21:43

OP - I just realised that everybody you know in real life is not getting up before 7am. Assuming some of them have toddlers, why don't you ask them how they manage it?

Then come back here and tell us!

I'm a bit puzzled that you felt the need to post here though, given that everybody you actually know seem to have it sorted already .

chocolateladybird · 17/09/2010 21:45

Pretty much every parent of a toddler I know gets up about this time. Some of them even earlier. How can a child of that age possibly be asked to entertain herself for an hour and a half? I think that would be a big ask for even a much older child. Waking up on their own can make small children feel insecure. Crying for an hour and a half while parents are angry and/or resistant will increase this a hundred fold.

Of course it is reasonable to expect children to fit into your lifestyle to some extent. I bet your DD does lots of things the way you want, because you're the parent. But she can't control her tiny body to make it sleep longer, and she can't make herself feel comfortable and happy if inside she's feeling lonely or scared.

How about taking her into bed with you when she wakes up, giving her a cuddle, telling her she's lovely, and resting with her for a bit, even if she doesn't want to go back to sleep?

nannylocal · 17/09/2010 21:52

lukewarmcupoftea That doesn't mean that toddlers in London need an hours less sleep though (or vice versa). I doubt there are regional differences in sleep requirements. Hence why the bed time info is needed.

No, I don't think she means there are regional differences in sleep requirements, but possibly in the average time people get up?

If the child is screaming and being ignored then that isn't 'entertaining themselves quietly' is it?

Certainly not. But if you read the op the child was entertaining herself quietly up until a week ago. So those claiming it's impossible are incorrect.

NonnoMum · 17/09/2010 22:22

I appreciate toddlers can amuse themselves.

But grown adults who can lie in til 8? How so?

mrswoodentop · 17/09/2010 23:24

ah yes nannylocal but that was because she had her dummy.Also one thing I have learned in my 17 years of parenting is that just as used to one phase and think you have it sussed ,another begins!

nannylocal · 18/09/2010 00:45

A dummy is habbit. Not entertainment. Once she gets used to not having a dummy she'll be ok. As I said before I've worked with families who have this arrangement, some had dummies, some didn't, some had dummies, then they were taken away. It has no bearing on a child's ability to entertain themselves. Of course the op needs to find a comfort to replace the dummy, but again this is a seperate issue and not what the op had asked about.

Nonnomum - not sure if that question was directed at me...don't really understand what you mean to be honest? How can adults lie in til 8? I find having a late night is quite effective....

longgrasswhispers · 18/09/2010 06:26

Can you tell us what time you put your dd to bed at night?

If I were to put mine to bed much before 7.30 p.m. then she would definitely wake up before 7.00 a.m. I can assure you.

As it is, bedtime in our house is 7.30 p.m., sometimes 7.45 p.m. and she wakes up anytime between 6.15 a.m. and 7.15 a.m. I get up with her. This means that in order not to be totally knackered, I go to bed quite often at 9.00 p.m. or 9.30 p.m, even though I don't always want to.

So - for the second time - what time does your dd go to bed at night?

hystericalmum · 18/09/2010 06:28

Get up with her.

ItsGrimUpNorth · 18/09/2010 06:46

6am? Bloody luxury that!

It might be too early for you, MiniPharm, but it's clearly not for your dd. Life does kind of change when you've had kids... ... ... ... Maybe you should go to bed earlier then you wouldn't be so grumpy?

I love it. "My dd is screaming until I wake up."

Tootlesmummy · 18/09/2010 08:29

6am isn't that bad to be getting up with a toddler.

If sleeping later than that is important then either cut out daytime naps if still having or give back the dummy.

OP attitude isn't very nice in MHO, I don't think you need to be so defensive. I think people are trying to help albeit it isn't what you want to hear.

Children's needs to change as they grow and unfortunately whilst I agree not everything should be dictated by children I think there has to be give and take.

Foxy800 · 18/09/2010 09:11

My lo also wakes at around 6am most mornings, she is 4 now but this has gone on for years and what worksd for us is she comes into us and lays in our bed till we hsve had a chance to wake up abit, quite often she will go back to sleep for a while. This works really well for all of us as it means she is in her bed for the whole night but then she has the comfort when she wakes at 6ish of being in with us for a while.

lukewarmcupoftea · 18/09/2010 10:20

Nannylocal - I suspect she wasn't entertaining herself happily for 90 minutes though, it was just that she had a dummy to comfort her for that period. As you say yourself, a dummy is not entertainment. Take away the dummy comfort and she quite naturally wants comfort from another source.

I'm quite amazed that you've found lots of other toddlers that are happy to play by themselves for extremely long periods on waking. I think you can tell by the responses that this is possibly nor the norm, and it makes me wonder whether they are actually happy or have just been trained that they will be ignored? And I am a gina ford following, pro CC, type - so if I think that, what do others think?!

IsItMeOr · 18/09/2010 11:44

I'm with you lukewarmcupoftea. Admittedly, we did CC reluctantly in total sleep-deprived desperation.

But I'm guessing that is why the OP has not been back in a while?

ninja · 18/09/2010 11:48

Put her to bed later?

(Get up with her)

1abrat · 18/09/2010 13:39

agree with ninja

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