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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

daughter screaming from 6am - advice needed!

89 replies

MiniPharm · 17/09/2010 11:51

For the past week my 2.5-year old daughter has started screaming the house down when she wakes at 6am. She's always woken at this time but until recently was happy enough playing with her toys and books until we got up (about 7.30am). The new behaviour coincides with us finally getting rid of her dummy. She makes so much noise that our upstairs neighbours have complained, and obviously it's awful for my partner and me having to listen to her. She just screams/shouts/cries until we finally get up. We've tried lots of things - going through to her room to explain that she needs to be quiet, giving her books to read, taking away her toys, giving her milk etc etc - but nothing has worked and it's creating a really unpleasant situation where we're all exhausted and fed up before we've even started the day. She's definitely old enough to realise what she's doing and I just don't know how to stop it.

has anyone got any ideas? i'd be very grateful.

OP posts:

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Original poster

MiniPharm · 17/09/2010 15:25

Thanks to you all for your advice, some of which was very constructive. I will try some of your suggestions.

One final remark to Mrsjuan - in answer to your question "I really don't see what you want from us?"

What a telling question!

When I made my initial post I was really hoping to elicit a broad range of responses from a broad range of people. Eventually I got some useful ideas, but the initial sequence of answers were clearly from a group (gang? clique?) of dogmatic Mumsnetters who are obviously desperate to force their opinions down other people's throats, and are too narrow-minded to realise that - SHOCK HORROR - some people don't want to get up at 6am!!! (yes, even nice people with jobs and kids).

But then of course that is why you, Mrsjuan, et al are on this forum in the first place.

OP posts:

llareggub · 17/09/2010 15:33

Well, good luck imposing your preferences on your toddler. A battle of wills is never fun.

But do make sure you caveat your future requests for advice with a warning that you only want advice from people who agree with you, won't you?

Original poster

MiniPharm · 17/09/2010 15:36

llareggub: I didn't ask for advice on whether or not I was right to expect my daughter to be quiet until 7am.

I asked for advice on how to encourage her to be quiet until 7am (as she always has been until last week).

Anyone who thought I shouldn't be encouraging her to do so could've simply ignored my post. And those people with useful suggestions could have answered.

It's not that complicated...!

OP posts:

IsItMeOr · 17/09/2010 16:47

It's not that complicated...why don't you just try giving back her dummy?

If you're not prepared to comfort your DD in any other way that requires your presence, why take away the thing that has comforted her so far?

Try to see it from her perspective - you're the one who has moved the goalposts here, not her.

GlendaSugarbean · 17/09/2010 18:51

nameymcnamechange · 17/09/2010 18:55

Lol lol at "maybe its a regional thing" re. getting up early!

StarlightMcKenzie · 17/09/2010 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lukewarmcupoftea · 17/09/2010 19:24

Always nice to be insulted when you've spent time trying to be helpful

May I point out, OP, that you are also on this forum.

Effjay · 17/09/2010 19:31

I'm starting to feel really sorry for your poor DD now, with your dogmatic and inflexible responses.

grapeandlemon · 17/09/2010 19:39

You have a really bizarre attitude. Especially with your latest responses. You are expecting far too much from an infant.

6am isn't so bad for that age - what on earth do you expect her to do? Wait patiently with a book sipping cup of tea until you are ready to get up?

Just get out of bed and get your day going. No wonder she is screaming poor thing.

grapeandlemon · 17/09/2010 19:43

"I do NOT think getting up at 6am is normal, and I never will. I also don't think I am alone, or abnormal in this. Maybe it's a regional thing! "

verytellytubby · 17/09/2010 19:50

Why don't you take her into your room and let her watch Cbeebies while you doze?

Sounds very inflexible and your expectations are too high. I think anything before 7am is unreasonable but got up for years at 6am.

RatherBeOnThePiste · 17/09/2010 19:59

6 really isn't that early!

Just get up.

pearlsandtwinset · 17/09/2010 20:02

I think that you have a very strong ideal of what you want, and frankly this is not bad thing. BUT an ideal is something to work towards, not something that happens every day.

You're in for a big surprise if you think you child will be your 'ideal' all the time.

sungirltan · 17/09/2010 20:06

yy to grapandlemon

op, nobody wants to get up at 6am ffs but you just have tve to when dc are little! when she is older she will sleep later.

you took the dummy away so you are being unreasonable to not want to deal with the consequences!

fwiw i wouldnt give the dummy bck - thats going backward plus with everything else i think you have to stick to that decision.

MrsGravy · 17/09/2010 20:07

Yes it is a regional thing. Here in wales we are all up at 6 to go down the mines. Reason you got lots of posters telling you to get up is because it is v hard to convince a toddler to wake or get up an hour and a half later than you want them to. Many have tried and failed. I wish you luck though.

mrswoodentop · 17/09/2010 20:09

Intrigued as to what region you are in?I agree that whilst before I had children I would get up at 7am now if I am not up by 6.45am I don't have a hope of getting everything done in time for school.

starlight,I am very envious of getting up for school at 8am what time do you hve to be at school that would only give us half an hour to get to school

nannylocal · 17/09/2010 20:10

Putting her to bed later and/or cutting out any afternoon sleep may be the easiest way to deal with the problem.

Also I think hour and half might be a bit long to leave her, but I don't think you need to get up at 6am. They can entertain themselves for a while at this age.

I would try the bunny clock or similar as they can work well.

Reward chart as with any 'battle of wills' situation can be effective.

Get a selection of new toys/books/colouring in stuff etc in a shiny box/treasure chest etc which is the 'early morning box' she can only play with it for that time in the morning. When you get up the box goes away and is reserved only for her special 'morning time'.

A special treat at breakfast time if she's been playing quietly.

I've worked with several kids who wake early and play quietly in their beds before mum/dad get up. It can be done.

Raejj · 17/09/2010 20:11

Personally I think 6 is too early to get up. Heeelllllloooooo everyone who thinks it is. Crazy. From what you've told us she CAN sleep through to later she's simply choosing not to. Personally I would probably give her the dummy back and if she cried for me I'd go in and make sure she's ok then leave. Change of nappy if necessary. Glass of milk if appropriate but honestly no damn way is she coming out of the bed until 7. Happy mother happy child and this mother is not doing 6am. I'd also consider pushing back bedtime by 15 mins initially and another 15 etc to see if this makes a difference.

nameymcnamechange · 17/09/2010 20:12

Oooooooooo hello pearlsandtwinset. I have namechanged (can you believe it?) but are you who I think you are?

[sadly excited emoticon]

CommanderCool · 17/09/2010 20:13

I have three children. They get up at 5.45-6.30am. Everyone I know with toddlers gets up at the same time. 7.30am is a lie in.

Honestly you do not know how lucky you have been so far.

If you really can't bear to get up, put TV on and get your beauty sleep

HeadFairy · 17/09/2010 20:19

PMSL at this thread, I'd like my dd to not wake 6 times a night but apparently there isn't some magic potion to make children do what you want them to do... I'm afraid I can't give you any advice op, I'd be getting up with my dd if she did what your dd did - but oops I've already been up for an hour by the time your dd wakes up! If you do find some amazing cure for early waking please bottle it and pass it on!

Wholelottalove · 17/09/2010 20:36

My DD is exactly the same age as yours and has always been an early riser. I was quite surprised and a little bit to read yours has been entertaining herself for an hour and a half every morning up until recently. I think this must be pretty unusual. FWIW I do feel 6.00 is a bit early to get up for me, and I hate it if the clock reads 5 anything (think it's a pyschological barrier that before 6 just feels wrong). But I'm not prepared to leave DD screaming in her room. We both have to be up at 6.30 for work anyway in the week so our compromise with her is she can come into our bed and quietly cuddle with us and some milk whilst we doze but she is not allowed to get up properly until the alarm goes at 6.30. Occasionally she will come in earlier and drift off to sleep cuddling us which is rather nice actually.

Could you get your DD to play quietly/have snuggles in bed with you in a similar way?

At weekends the 6.30 rule still applies, but DH and I take it in turns to get up with her whilst the other lies in and play quietly downstairs. In DH's case this usually consists of him sleeping on the sofa whilst she watches a DVD, which she won't do with me

lukewarmcupoftea · 17/09/2010 20:39

Very hard for anyone to give you the constructive advice you say you want OP, unless you come back and give details of nap times, bed time etc....

MustHaveaVeryShortMemory · 17/09/2010 20:49

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Can you give her the dummy back at night? Can she get in bed with you for the last hour? No, I know they aren't ideal solutions but whatever gets you through the night.

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