Another My 2.5yr Old Picky Eater...

[Tamashii]

DS is 30 months old. He used to have a few favourite meals that he would be guaranteed to eat. Chicken,rice and peas. Spaghetti Bolognese. Chicken sandwiches. Cheese on toast. Tuna in cheese/tomato sauce. Spaghetti.

Now, he won't eat anything apart from porridge, yoghurt, bread, wraps with no filling and will nick a dry ryvita or cream cracker. He will occasionally eat chicken and will always eat steak on the odd occasion we have it but only if it isn't too chewy.

I am at my wits end. HV was saying not to make any fuss as it is likely a control thing for him and he is just experimenting with his new found ability to do what he wants.

When he was younger and just weaned he LOVED broccoli, parsnips, carrot, turnip and all kinds of veg. Not keen on fruit. He has had a few Ella's pouches now to try and get some fruit/veg into his diet but he will not touch real fruit/veg. I cooked and mashed up some pears and hid it in a yoghurt. He ate it like normal until he found a lump of pear and that was it. "I NO LIKE IT MUMMY!" with eyebrows down in a big frown.

What do I do?

Exactly what the HV said, I phoned my HV today about exactly the same thing!!

My daughter is 3 and the worst picky eater ever! I'm at the end of my tether with her, I made all my own food when I weaned her, she ate everything I gave her, fruit, veg, meat etc, turned 18 months and refused everything!

She has an extremely limited diet at the moment, even refusing foods she usually likes? I've tried ... diguising, bribing, shouting, reward chart, everything! Nothing works, so today the HV said she has got control and is loving it, she wants attention and is getting it whichever way she can! (I've been told all this before but didn't follow it)!!

So this is what she said to do and it does make sense:

If you know he/she will only eat 1 chip and 1 fish finger and four peas, give them that, its all about praising them for clearing their plate, not finishing their food as its normal to eat food!!

Put the plate on the table, either eat with them or sit with them, say nothing so no cajoling, just eat one more bit etc! SAY NOTHING about the food (so hard not to)!! Talk about their day, what they have done, what they are doing tomorrow etc, but don't mention food! After half an hour, ask them if they have finished and take it away.

Even if they don't eat a thing, they can still have 'pudding' but only a yoghurt or a piece of fruit, no 'goodies'.

There is to be no other food until snack time, has to be a gap of at least two hours before main meal again, snack is to be cheese, fruit, no goodies! Oh and no milk in the day only morning and night.

So after a disastrous lunch, an hour later she said she was hungry, I made her wait another hour and gave her a banana, nothing else. She then had 1 fish finger, 1 chip and some spaghetti hoops at 5 and ate most of it, never said a word about the food and it seemed to work??

HV also told me to put her on Minadex for the iron as she is such a poor eater, I just put it in her milk at night and in the morning?

Hope this helps? Good Luck!!

My Ds is very fussy - but like yours ate evrything when he was small, used to eat brocolli like it was a lollipop! He now eats no veg AT ALL. He would never eat spag bol or anything like that! But he also doesn't really eat chocolate either - not interested in cake or biscuits. So he has what he will eat and I figure it's not too bad. That means, fruit, fish (his fave thing ever) mash potato, cheese, eggs, milk and meat. Oh and he likes wholemeal bread and crackers and yoghurts. Very plain diet really but fit as a butchers dog! He doesn't like things mixed up (say spag bol) so even though there are millions of things he will not eat, what he does eat he eats well. What your DS is eating is not too bad!! I don't make any fuss whatsoever anymore. He will eat bananas occasionally and likes custard, but if you put them together - he will try them but it's like you've givn him arsenic!

Mummytowillow, this is excellent advice, I will take up your ideas!

I have exactly the same issues as the OP, the diet of my 2 year old DS is getting more & more limited by the day, while he used to be an OK eater as a baby. I do think it's a control issue because they just want to control their environment at this age & show independence & autonomy & seem to do it often through food...

Maxybrown, oh how I wish my DS would eat the things your DS does (particularly fish, how envious that makes me!) But like your DS, mine too won't abide anything with sauce in it, so spaghetti bolognaise is definitely out of the question and anything similar.

The other day I gave him fish fingers & some plain pasta pieces. He said 'yummy yummy' when he saw the fish fingers, but couldn't quite hold them with his fork well so got frustrated & started flinging them on the floor! He then tried a pasta piece looking at it as if it were poison, just touched it on his mouth briefly, said YUKKY!!! and pushed the whole plate away. What on earth can be yukky about a plain pasta piece?! There was nothing on it, I tell you!!

:(

My dd is now an extremely healthy 23yr old (eats well for health) at 2 she ate ONLY salami, tiny amounts of pasta an occasional bit of apple. please believe me, it passes Ignore it.

I'm sure ignoring it & not creating a huge fuss around mealtime is a great idea, ppeatfruit (I particularly hate the constant cajoling, 'please eat a tiny bit more!' etc). I agree with all that mummytowillow wrote, ie not discussing food at mealtime, ignoring what they eat & don't eat etc.

Encouraging to hear your DD has grown into a good eater BUT my DP who was a fussy eater as a child remains, I'm sad to say, rather a fussy eater now that he's in his 40s... :( So I'm not sure to what extent it can be ignored completely.

I suppose offering them a relatively wide selection together with the things they do eat is a good compromise? I worry that if I offer DS things he doesn't eat (eg stews, pasta with sauce, veg etc) he'll just go hungry. But then the downside of that is that I'm watching myself limiting my repertoire more & more when it comes to DS!

My twins are v v fussy and always have been. Like MaxyBrown however I'm pretty lucky in that the few foods they do like are really healthy (smoked salmon!). It's bloody frustrating but like everyone else here says best not to worry too much so I try not to stress about it or make it an issue and please don't think you're alone....One small tip that might help is that I sprinkle wheatgerm in their yoghurt for extra goodness and they don't seem to notice.

Yes am very lucky he loves fish. He can't seem to get enough of it! But he would react the same to pasta. how about with the fish fingers, not even giving him a fork - just let him use his fingers? Would your DS not just eat a small pice of plain cod?

He used to eat fish pie too, and though he loves fish and loves mash (he will not eat boiled potatoes or roast - nor new potatoes mashed!) he will not eat them togther. I have never believed in fussy eaters before DS, I will eat anything as will DH. Now he is 3 we have started to say " 3 more mouthfuls etc" Our problem is we can't even bribe him with a pudding as he just isn't interested!

When he was younger we tried all sorts, now I just don't care!! (I mean in the most caring way possible if that makes sense?) I always offer him something to try and most things he will try, tentatively, and rarely eats them, but he will try. though like I say no veg - that is just yee ack.

He was just 3 yesterday by the way, but has been like this since about 15 months. I have to say my sister has always been proud that her two eat everything and always ask for veg etc, they are now 14 and 11 and two of the pastiest things I have ever seen lol. My DS really is a picture of health - maybe it's all the fish

minimisa - I would never get away with puting anything in his yogurt - he is always fiercely independant, fed himself competantly with a spoon from 11 months and would NEVER allow us to help ever since, so he knows now he can easily take the yogurt lid off the pot - so why would I do it? (I mean that is his train of thought!) I think really it is all part of his plan to phase me out ...........if only he could open that fridge......

My DS is 3yo. He is a picky eater and I really have to try hard to not let it stress me out. I wouild love him to one of those children who seem to munch and enjoy all that is put before them. He lives on a diet that I frowned on before I had children - he has chicken nuggets, fish fingers, sausages, chips. I was delighted when he asked for baked beans ! He will eat pasta but only if it coated very thinly in a smooth sauce and only plain rice. He is good at eating fruit and yoghurt but won't eat veg. He ate anything we gave him when weaning.

I keep hoping that it is a phase that will pass as I keep being assured. I give him multi vitamins and he has milk at night and the morning as well.

However, having said that he is a happy, healthy alert little boy, so I guess I really should be less stressed about it but as with all you others with picky eatersm, it is really hard not to get stressed by it !

oh it is soooo nice to read of other fussy eaters! My DD is getting worse by the week. As other people say she used to eat so much better. What I was wondering was what do others do about mealtimes. Do you cook food that you know your fussy eater will eat (ie.have to cook 2 meals) or do you just put stuff in front of them and hope for the best! I am working on the theory of one meal a day of what she likes and then other of whatever the rest of us are having.

How are the other fussy eaters on this thread doing? We've made a change which seems to help: we have our main meal of the day all together in the evenings, instead of separate earlier meal for DS & then grown up meal for us (which is what we used to do). Doesn't mean we all eat the same thing everytime, but it does mean that DS has surprised us & tried new things, eg spicy noodles which he wouldn't touch before! So, a family meal seems a success so far...

On the minus side, we're just settling DS at nursery & so far he's refused most food there (even though otherwise he's loving nursery). They asked me: is he a fussy eater by any chance? Noooooooooo :))

But I do hope that eventually nursery will help his eating!

Hi, we always eat togther and always have done but no change here!

BUT, he did eat a biscuit today at toddler group - not that i want to encourage biscuit eating but he has NEVER eaten biscuits!

Yes Maria Hi it's good news that he's trying things with you. Looking at it from DCs angle it must be sressful to have the full attention of yr parents while eating on yr own !

Hi there. My DS is 2 and a half, and similar to the OP he ate lots of veg as a baby, but for the last year has been very fussy. Recently though he has been much better, and what's worked for us is putting on his favourite tv programme

I know lots of people would rather not have a tv on at mealtimes, and ideally I would feel the same, but at the moment it really has been the best way of getting him to eat, and more importantly try new foods and realise that he actually does like them. My plan is to gradually take away the tv watching, but hopefully he will by then have lots of different foods he knows he likes. A lot of bribery goes on i.e. his favourite programme 'Something Special' only stays on if he eats his dinner etc, but it works for us.

Not for everyone I realise, but it's working for us (and with a new baby to contend with it's making life easier!)

Hello, can I join you all?
Our 22 month old ds is also living on fresh air!
Breakfast time is the best time of day, he has cereal (sometimes 2 types) yoghurt and toast, wolfs it all down as if he's never seen food !
The rest of the day goes downhill after that, lunch and dinner are sparse, occasionally he eats neither.
On his acceptable list of foods are,
Cereal, mandarin segments, bread/toast, chips, chicken dippers (oh so healthy I know!)yoghurt, custard, cake, crisps, sweetcorn, cheese(sometimes) macaroni cheese, potato waffles or wedges, ricecakes and breadcrumbed prawns (I know-random)
I've read this thread with interest and it looks like a few of us are struggling with this issue,
Who would like to keep this thread going for a bit and give each other a bit of support or use it to have a rant after mealtimes! ?

So reassuring and some great advice. Got 30 month old twins. Our ds will eat most things at home as long as I feed him (he feeds himself at nursery) but our ds will very often not eat with me (unless it's ham or cheese). She eats well at nursery and feeds herself. So frustrating. For some reason she is choosing not to eat with me. Going to try mummytowillow's advice.

Just read through the thread and there is some really good advice here, but why is it so hard to follow? I find myself saying things like 'just a few more mouthfuls' or 'if you eat all your dinner you can have x, y, z', then I think why on earth did I say that? The child will eat when she's really hungry.

At the moment my DD will eat;
Bananas
Apples
Cheese butties
Toast (but only if DP makes it)
greggs sausage rolls
Raisins
Crisps (doesn't often get them tho)
Yoghurts
Biscuits

At nursery today she ate some peas! Its the only thing she had ate at nursery since she started apart from fruit, yoghurts and biscuits. I guess it's a step in the right direction

All yr DCs are lively and healthy aren't they? In fact a good breakfast and smaller meals later is v. healthy; we all tend to eat too much don't we? see Paul Mckenna. try not to stress out about it!!!

My 2 year old is a bit of a carnivore, she loves beef (even the chewy or fatty bits) and chicken (especially the skin).

I think babies and toddlers like to identify what they're eating - so perhaps present foods seperately such as meat with a few different veg as opposed to sauce based food (spag bol or curry).

I also involve my child in food prep so I offer her a bit of raw veg as I prepare it (she likes raw pepper and tomato especially). And I don't cut up fruit for her, she'll eat a whole apple or peel her own tangerine (she likes the challenge).

We eat as a family too, she particularly likes eating with her dad more than me (I think because he's more animated).

How we all doing with our fussy eater!!

Well the HV advice seems to working for me! I tell her that this is her meal, if she doesn't eat it there will be nothing to eat until snack time and she tucks in! Doesn't always eat it all, sometimes eats one mouthful and says no more, I take it away, give her yoghurt thats it!!

Onwards and upwards I say, I shall perservere!!

oh well done! if i say that, Ds just eats nothing - he is not interested in biscuits or chocolate either or things like that so not like he just wants junk!

We tried that ages ago and in the end he just wasn't eating at all - i think because he eats fish and would eat that every meal if given the choice, it's not too bad i guess!

When my ds (aged 26 months) was 18 months we went to visit his cousin in America. She was 8 and would only eat cheerios, pasta, pasta with cheese and toast with jam. This so appalled me that I swore I would never do special food for ds, and that if he didn't eat something he just went hungry. He isn't a great eater at all, and often eats nothing at a meal time or even all day - I have chosen not to worry about this and just to keep offering him things. I try to judge his health by how he looks, not by what he eats.

Well ladies, another night...... another dinner in the bin. One of Annabel Karmels finest toddler concoctions. Is it just me or do any of you think these childrens recipe books are sent to wind us up, all these wonderful, colourful creations with exotic vegetables and spices, where are the children that eat all this stuff??? Show me them goddamit!!!!

Mummytowillow :- well done on sticking with the programme! I can't seem to manage the "it's this or nothing" tact, I know it's the best thing to do but I keep reaching for the toaster at the thought of that empty little tummy rumbling away in bed, really stupid I know. Maxybrown:- wow fish every night, great brain food at least!
Nesomja, it's great you have the strength to resist giving in to junk food, I wish I could train myself not to worry about it!
Anyway, tomorrow is another day! Lots of good-eating vibes to you all!

lol - apparently my sister has two - they are now 12 and 14 and she STILL brags about it..........yawn. However, she is very very organised and my niece is really disorganised and very scatty so she has that to deal with Where as i like any food will try anything and have a fussy eater.

He is only now having something for breakfast and it is an apple.

Apparently I never ate a thing until I had my tonsils out at 5 - then my Mum says I never looked back - oh how I wish I had those tonsils now........lol

Just for the record - I try not to give him fish every day, but it could be worsse i know! he loves meat too. Maybe my son was a cat in a previous life? meat milk and fish.......

Hate, hate, hate Annabel Karmel She's making a lot of money just re-hashing book after book that has the same recipes in.

Look, you don't need a special cook book for children. I have had loads of experience with fussy eaters and it doesn't make any difference at all. I used to worry a lot about my now 7 year old. She hasn't got any better either but in time she will.

I know how frustrating it is but really the best thing you can do is give them what they like, don't stress if they don't eat and wait for them to become more adventurous. Both my dh and I were terrible eaters as children but now as adults we eat most things.

Lots of children are fussy eaters, some really fussy...but most adults eat pretty much most foods. It just takes time. Some things that I love now I didn't start eating till my late teens or twenties.