Why do children lie about things that don't matter and carry on lying even when you have said they won't get into trouble?

[coventgarden]

Testing boundaries.

Seeing if they can get away with it.

Stubborn little cow just kicked her brother.

Sometimes (depending on age, and I can't remember which age or where I read this) it's that they don't understand that what the past has happened and can't be changed. They really think they can change what they have done by saying they didn't do it - and if they believe they can change then they may have full well convinced themselves that, actually, this thing hasn't happened and so they are telling the truth.

They are clever enough to know there will be a sanction of some sort whatever you say.

I mean what I say though, I tell them they get into more trouble for lying than the actual thing they are in trouble for. If they then tell the truth I am pretty calm when I say "I don't want you to do that again" and then we move on. So they do know.

mine got into trouble fot lying - rather than the deed - well, depending on the deed.

I know that you know that they know

A child can't take that risk...that is adult reasoning.

just because you gave me one .

Blinking kids. My animals give me less trouble.

I don't think it's very nice to call your dd a little cow

only on here, not to her face! Better to rant on here than shout at her.

Yes of course it is but I wouldn't write that about my children on a public site.

I just think it's disrespectful.

Your opinion of course. No one who knows me is on here, no one has any idea who I am and my child will certainly not read it. I think you need to stop worrying about something that doesn't concern you and is of no concern to anyone.

I think it is because they do not trust us adults when we say they won't get in trouble. For us saying " you won't get in trouble" means "you will not be grounded or have privileges taken away". For them it mean we won't even tell them what they did was wrong. As we cannot help ourselves and will let them know what they did was wrong, in their minds we are lying to them. This is what I think anyway.

Good point. I will bare it in mind.

Yes, of course, none of my business, I shall just refrain from commenting on any of your future threads.

Perhaps you might afford me the same courtesy. One rule for both, yes?

You can comment where and when you like. I am just merely pointing out that this is anonymous so you have no need to be bothered by what I have said about my dd who was behaving in an appalling manner.

Oh ok, so you're saying it's unnecessary and inappropriate to be bothered by how other people behave towards their children? Is it?

I only said it made me sad to see a child referred to like that - any child tbh, whoever you are, and whether I know you or not.

It made me sad.

And you're saying it shouldn't. But it did.

No, of course, I only commented on how reading it made me feel.

I didn't imply she was violent to her child.

I might often think those kinds of things about my own kids but to publish them would feel wrong.

Like I said though, none of my business. I am probably still feeling insulted about this tbh.

I'll fark off now anyway. This is pointless.

You have no idea.

I never said it shouldn't make you sad, I said you shouldn't concern yourself with a non event. I didn't call her a cow. I didn't shout at her. I didn't hit her. I posted on a website that she was acting like a cow. Why is that such a problem for you?

I don't know why it is a problem for me and yes, I do have some idea.

I'm going to leave it now.

Not about me, you don't.

I am sorry for the bad feeling - I don't want this.
I am sorry that I have argued with you on your thread.

Thanks BTP.

Yes, I took it personally when she commented that she hoped I wasn't pregnant for the baby's sake.

I'm not sure how I could have taken it otherwise.

This thread was unrelated as far as I'm concerned but with the reaction to my comment here, it felt very personal iyswim, so I tried to respond

but it isn't going to be solved by arguing. I've apologised and hope I can walk away now.