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Original poster

Is my son gifted/ASD?

49 replies

paranoidofStaffs · 19/07/2010 22:04

Help...my 4 year old is a happy chatty boy, clever but not able to read. Nursery teacher now saying he may have autistic tendancies and/or may be gifted.

Never noticed anything out of the ordinary with him. He does hate buttons, is having lots of tempers lately and has regressed at nursery by wetting himself (not so bad at home). However, I had words with nursery as i caught them strapping him to a chair as a punishment and they kept dressing him in girls clothes (and on one occasion with buttons so tight he couldnt bend over), they let him sleep too long so he was sleeping late at night and I decided the wetting was anxiety.

Nursery say he concetrates well for long periods and likes the company of adults/gets frustarted with the other children.

Am I mad or am i duty bound to think something is wrong?

OP posts:
colditz · 19/07/2010 22:05

I don't think he sounds either gifted or ASD - he sounds like he attends a shit nursery.

5inthebed · 19/07/2010 22:07

Autistic or gifted? There is no comparison of the two.

I'd move nurseries if I were you. What a ridiculous thing to say!

boredwithfoodprob · 19/07/2010 22:09

He sounds normal, your nursery does not. "Strapping him to a chair" for punishment.....isn't that child abuse?! Poor him, no wonder he's anxious

thisisyesterday · 19/07/2010 22:10

OMG! take him out of that nursery now!

how can you send him there after seeing them strap him to a chair, dress him in clothes so small he can't move and he is now wetting himself there???

please take him out

Al1son · 19/07/2010 22:10

BL*Y H**L!

Strapping him into a chair as a punishment!!!!

Ofsted have closed nurseries down for less!

I would remove him straight away and then make an official complaint.

What else is going on in that place?

If you put him in a different nursery, allow him time to settle and he still has issues in a few months that would be an appropriate time to worry.

Goblinchild · 19/07/2010 22:10

Strapping him to a chair as punishment?
Possibly wetting himself due to anxiety?
I'd be losing my temper too.
Why are you fussing about ASDs or Giftedness? Get the poor little thing out of that nursery before you wonder about anything else.

funnysinthegarden · 19/07/2010 22:10

your nursery sounds very odd. I would be mighty pissed off if I found out my DS (who is 4 also) had been dressed in girls clothes and strapped him into a chair.

It's totally normal not to be able to read at 4.

When does he start reception? is he finishing at that nursery soon?

Poor thing sounds very unhappy!

Original poster
paranoidofStaffs · 19/07/2010 22:13

Thats what I thought and I have no experience at all of either - I did ask whether they had any experience of either - which they hadnt - i am just shell shocked as it has come out of the blue and have worried all week that I have missed something obvious.

I have checked online materials and cant see that there are enough symptons, he meets eye contact for instance and is loving and cuddly.

I think I need to tell them to go to hell - I just cant believe that off hand comments can be made like that unless there is something there - why would someone do that?

OP posts:
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 19/07/2010 22:14

God, I'm with the others. Don't send your child back here and call social services in the morning.

OfficeBird · 19/07/2010 22:17

paranoid - stop worrying about whether he has/is something, and listen tot what everyone is saying... he is probably deeply upset and anxious about what is happening at this nursery - can you remove him immediately? Do you have any childcare alternatives?

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 19/07/2010 22:17

He's reacting to the abuse (this is what it is) that he is recieving at nursery. He's showing you that he's incredibly distressed, don't send him back here and call the authorities in so they do not do this to another child.

For what it's worth, my son was abused at nursery, he was bruised and had marks on his head. He then told me that a member of staff had hit him across the head. His behaviour between this happening and him telling me was 2 weeks, he had 2 weeks where he didn't want to go, he'd cry and his distress showed in his behaviour. Please do not send your child back here.

thisisyesterday · 19/07/2010 22:17

i really, really think you need to report the nursery to ofsted

god, it doesn't even bear thinkikng about. if that's what tyhey're doing in front of you, with a child old enough to tell you what's going on.... i wonder what they're doing to the little ones?

please, please report them

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 19/07/2010 22:20

Don't go through Ofsted. The other children that are there are at immediate risk of harm, you need to contact social services, they will liase with the police and Ofsted or will refer the matter to Ofsted if deemed necessary.

Don't take your child back.

Al1son · 19/07/2010 22:21

paranoid, if you don't want to report them yourself then CAT me and I'll do it.

I can't bear to think that this could be happening for another moment. I can't identify you so I can't let anything slip by accident.

I'm a childminder and I'm horrified by what you've just posted. Please don't let this carry on for a moment longer.

maxybrown · 19/07/2010 22:28

speechless really

They might as well have said hmmmm, he's either pink or blue. How ridiculous and wth is going on with everything else. I agree - contact SS AND ofsted, very very poor and very very worrying. If that was my son - he would never be stepping foot in that nursery again. Sounds like they are bullying and abusing him, shocking. I've worked in some naff nurseries in my younger years - but none like that!!

Goblinchild · 19/07/2010 22:40

'Thats what I thought and I have no experience at all of either - I did ask whether they had any experience of either - which they hadnt - i am just shell shocked as it has come out of the blue and have worried all week that I have missed something obvious.

I'm a teacher, my son has Asperger's Syndrome. I know quite a bit about both and I stand by my earlier post. Take him out ASAP.

maxybrown · 19/07/2010 22:45

Is this real? just that you seem more concerned over what they said rather than what they are doing to him!! DH is a Teacher too, he said ring the police

PixieOnaLeaf · 19/07/2010 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hellymelly · 19/07/2010 23:02

This sounds like a victorian melodrama,strapped to a chair!! A four year old!! horrendous.Name and shame the nursery and take him out.Why are you still taking him there?

HouseofCrazy · 19/07/2010 23:17

This has to be a wind up??

lisad123isgoingcrazy · 19/07/2010 23:26

take him out, as a parent go with your gut.
Poor lad. As a parent of a child wh is gift and ASD, I wouldnt conclude from what you said any sign of ASD, just a terrible nursery.

SingleMumAndProud · 20/07/2010 08:48

If you are guinuine and not winding everybody up, you need to call somebody TODAY. Don't worry about what they said about the SN, that is irrelevant. Wrong, but not really harmful. The rest of it is not right and needs to be reported asap.

maxybrown · 20/07/2010 08:56

There have been no other posts from OP

Original poster
paranoidofStaffs · 20/07/2010 09:25

Not a wind up and think it was just a one off but cant be sure (new staff apparently) and nursery good at a lot of things so in isolation does sound bad - hence my hesitation - but i am trying to withdraw him - he is happy there I think most of the time - I have to be careful not to make matters worse for him whilst I transfer him out.

I do feel better but I am a trusting person by nature so find it hard to accept that people can be so mean.

I have spoken to ofsted and will consider a written complaint when i have sorted the situation.

OP posts:
primrose22 · 20/07/2010 09:42

I just can't believe your more concerned with this misguided gifted/autistic diagnosis. I am a qualified nursery officer, with years of experience, this nursery sounds dreadful. I've seen staff dismissed for less and believe me, although thankfully they are few and far between, there are sadly some awful nursery nurses out there. Please act now.