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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable - Nan stole baby name

50 replies

SeoMum · 09/06/2010 15:19

I recently got pregnant and am expecting my 1st and me and DH picked out baby names when we decided to try for a baby. DH's Nan got a puppy and was choosing a name she told us a few suggestions including the name for our Girl. We made a joke of it but asked her not to call the dog our name (we had just found out we were pregnant)she decided on another name then when they picked up the puppy reverted back to our chosen name.
I have been upset about this and my Mother in law asked that they change the puppy's name as I was upset and we had specifically asked them not to choose that name but they don't want to.
Am I being unreasonable? We don't know if we are having a boy or a girl so may not be applicable to this child but we do want to have more children and I feel hurt that they chose a name even after we told them why we didn't want them to use that for their dog.
DH blames the hormones but I am really upset with them and as they are DH's family it is difficult for me to talk to him about it.

OP posts:

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sedgiebaby · 09/06/2010 15:25

That's pretty annoying because its hard imo to find a name you both like in the first place.

All I'd say is, if you can try to put your energy into finding another name because making an issue of it isn't going to make things more pleasant for anyone, it might end up in more upset and could at the end of the day, sour the name for you anyway.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 09/06/2010 15:28

How long have you got to choose another name - that wouldn't suit a dog?

Original poster

SeoMum · 09/06/2010 15:34

Thanks for your comments...
We have 6 months to choose another name as I am only 3 months pregnant just a shame as we had chosen the name ages ago and has a lot of meaning for me in particular.
It has soured the relationship with DH's nan for me - I'm sure I'll get over it but it says a lot about their respect for us

OP posts:

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 09/06/2010 15:40

Oh, I understand how infuriating it must be for you, particularly as you asked specially, but don't let it sour your relationship. She'll not be around forever.

PigletJohn · 09/06/2010 15:47

what's the worst that could happen if you call your DC by the same name?

No-one owns a name.

lidofabiro · 09/06/2010 15:48

If you like the name then use it anyway regardless of the dog.

Original poster

SeoMum · 09/06/2010 15:48

Haha true I don't want it to ruin the relationship as her new husband (DH's step granddad) has been causing issues on the other side of the family so she rarely sees her other grandchildren just finding it hard to get over - could be the hormones but do feel I'm justified to be upset.

OP posts:

Original poster

SeoMum · 09/06/2010 15:55

It may not be needed for this pregnancy anyway till we find out what we are having we have thought of using the same name but not sure and its more the fact we both asked them not to and they didn't bother that is most upsetting. I wanted that name for years and DH loves it too but the dog arrived first I have reasons why I don't want the baby to share a name with the dog but that is from bullying when I was younger silly to still hold on to memories but I want to protect my child as much as possible

OP posts:

LuluF · 09/06/2010 15:57

If you love the name, use it. The dog won't be around forever - and besides, you can tell everyone (if they comment) how you picked the name and they still used it even though you told them how special it was to you. And really - it's only going to be family (and only one small section by the sound of it) who know what their dog is called.

But I agree, you are justified in being upset.

plusonemore · 09/06/2010 16:03

sorry, cant help being and at the same time

can i suggest that even if nan did change the dogs name it has been spoilt for you now, and that with time and even without the dog you probably would have changed your mind anyway? I was completely set on a boys name and a girls name until right near the end (DH agreed) and then we both suddenly said 'dont like either of them' at about 7 months!

Original poster

SeoMum · 09/06/2010 16:26

Thanks for everone who has commented I'll let you know how it pans out

OP posts:

PixieCake · 09/06/2010 18:09

Use the name yourself anyway. Sounds like the nan is just being stubborn. If anyone says anything you can politely point out that you did ask her not to use it for the dog.

As you said, your baby may be the other sex, so you are probably worrying unnecessarily. I would be pissed off too, but that would just make me more determined to stick to my chosen name.

Hedwig3 · 09/06/2010 18:22

What LuluF said - use it and make them look bad.

Wow I would be mad!

alexisfaith · 09/06/2010 18:22

The nan is being stubborn and probably thinks she has 'won'. Use the name you love anyway. Why not? It's just a dog and it'll be ace to see the nan's reaction. Do it!

Original poster

SeoMum · 09/06/2010 18:32

Thanks for your support don't feel like such a cowbag for over reacting, will know more when I find out the sex so going to chill out for a bit. She probably is being stubborn and thinks she's won but it shouldn't be about that.

Thanks again for all your comments really appreciate it

OP posts:

GladioliBuckets · 09/06/2010 18:35

If it means a lot but would upset you now with the dog issue, why not have it for a middle name? My DSis actually named her DD after our old dog!

Please try to put it on the backburner for a while - I'm sure you feel patronised enough already but do not underestimate the power of 1st trimester hormones!

activate · 09/06/2010 18:39

LOL

it's the hormones

nan said the name independently and has the right to use it

you will go through stacks of names over the next 6 months

gerroverit

StayFrosty · 09/06/2010 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

activate · 09/06/2010 18:39

LOL

it's the hormones

nan said the name independently and has the right to use it

you will go through stacks of names over the next 6 months

gerroverit

hocuspontas · 09/06/2010 18:40

Why would she think she has 'won'? She probably just forgot - us oldies have a hard time remembering our own names let alone something that was said in passing weeks or months ago.

overmydeadbody · 09/06/2010 18:44

I think YABU.

you don't own the name, even if you asked them not to use it, they have every right to use it before you do.

Not sure it matters if a dog has the same name as a child anyway? Why would it matter?

They got the chance to use the name before you did. Don't let that stop you using the name or affect your relationswhip with them. Life's too short.

overmydeadbody · 09/06/2010 18:48

If someone told me I couldn't use a name because they had already 'chosen' it for their child, but still weren't going to use it for over six months, I would think "who are they to tell me what names I can and can't use for my pet/child/inanimate object/character in a book etc etc and make my own decision not to use it.

How would you feel if it where the other way round and the granny had told you you couldn't use that name as she wanted to call her dog that?

mathanxiety · 09/06/2010 20:12

They do sound rude, and if the step grandad has managed to alienate people on he other side of the family already, chances are he'll do the same to your side, aided and abetted by Nan by the looks of things. I don't think you're being unreasonable.

I would use the name, in the knowledge that the dog and Nan won't be around forever.

muminthemiddle · 10/06/2010 13:25

I agree with Lulu F

swanandduck · 10/06/2010 13:36

Forget it, move on, and think of another name. It's not the end of the world.

(Sorry if I sound terse, but I've just had a tearful conversation with a friend who has discovered she can't have children She would give her right arm to have your 'problem').

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