Am I being unreasonable - Nan stole baby name

[SeoMum]

I recently got pregnant and am expecting my 1st and me and DH picked out baby names when we decided to try for a baby. DH's Nan got a puppy and was choosing a name she told us a few suggestions including the name for our Girl. We made a joke of it but asked her not to call the dog our name (we had just found out we were pregnant)she decided on another name then when they picked up the puppy reverted back to our chosen name.
I have been upset about this and my Mother in law asked that they change the puppy's name as I was upset and we had specifically asked them not to choose that name but they don't want to.
Am I being unreasonable? We don't know if we are having a boy or a girl so may not be applicable to this child but we do want to have more children and I feel hurt that they chose a name even after we told them why we didn't want them to use that for their dog.
DH blames the hormones but I am really upset with them and as they are DH's family it is difficult for me to talk to him about it.

Thanks to everyone I know I've been a bit more irrational than normal due to hormones.
Unfortunately it will affect the relationship as this was the last straw of a lot of other things and she had agreed another name first then changed it to our name. To those saying I don't own a name, I know this and if had been a child fine we would have accepted it but a dog is different. My mum changed the name of her dog after 5 months of having the dog because her friend (not family) wanted to use the name as a nickname for her baby (not christened name)I think her and her husband are just being pig headed now but I for one will be avoiding them till I have forgiven them. It is more the fact that they don't care about our feelings than the name even though we expressed it to them a week before they got the puppy.

Use it anyway. Doesn't sound like you will see much of them so who cares? If it has meaning for you I'd stick with it. In 5 years' time you'll be glad you did and will have forgotten the dog debacle.

Use the name. Okay nobody owns a name but that is just ridiculous that somebody that close would do that to you. I'd be equally annoyed and hormones or not, it makes no difference - it has still upset you. Don't be upset, use the name and to sound harsh the dog will only be around for 10-12 years (ish) so go for it.

Unfortunatly no-one can protect your choice of name. All sorts of tacky celebrities or bad politicians could drag the name in to disrepute over the next few decades. If you like it, give it to your baby. Only a few people will know both the dog and your baby, and those who do will also see that she has been a little forgetful/inconsiderate. Better to continue as planned than harbour resentment.

Good luck!

Swanandduck - I think you are being unreasonable by bringing your friends situation into this. I'm very sorry about your friend and the conversation you have had with her but that really is not SeoMums fault is it?

I personally think SeoMum has a right to be upset, I'd be furious too (which is why we have told nobody our name choices).

As for a plan of action - as others have said, it sounds like they are wanting to alienate people (or at least the sgil is) so have probably done this on purpose knowing the upset it will cause.

I personally wouldn't name a baby after it's links to a dog as everytime I thought of that name, or called my daughter it, it would bring back the backstabbing feelings!!!

Have a scout around for other names that you both like the sound of and see if they 'ring your bell'

xxx

I'm still not speaking to Jordan since she stole the name Princ'ess T'iaa'ami off my DD.

It's not Lassie is it?

Sorry, couldn't resist . But actually is it a very "doggy" name and therefore taking lo to the park is going to be fraught with problems every time you call her name - or is it a very unlikely dog-type name like Elizabeth?

Use it. I was called the same name as my grandmothers pet poodle. It hasn't scarred me.

I'd be pissed off too!!

What is the name??

I would use the name I liked and refer to the dog by another name or nickname, if I ever had to. (To make tourselves feel better, call it fuckface or something) It's just a dog! If you have a DD it will hardly bother her anyway.

I know it might sound a little strange at first but just call your child by the same name, really nobody is gonna care about the dog when your little one arrives.
Any association with the dog will soon disappear when you look at your little bundle, the name just becomes them, and then its like they have been around forever. My little girl has the same middle name as the dog over the road, i see it every day but i never think about it.
Go with it, stuff the dog!!!

YANBU to be upset at Nan's insensitivity. But I don't really see the problem in calling your daughter the same name. We're going to call our LO Alexander when he arrives (not long to go now, yay!). . . it was my cat's name when I was a teenager. (Needless to say, we're not naming him after my cat, but after his great-grandfather!) Just call your daugher the name you want to call her and ignore the dog.

YABU but I'm putting it down to PG hormones.

She came up with the name independently of you. Why do you get first dibs on it?

Perhaps the name has special meaning for her as well, could be her best friend, favourite aunt, mothers name.

You have no right telling her not to use, you need to let it go. The sky wont fall in because the dog and your DD have the same name.

She actualy got the name from DH's sister who told her we were trying for a baby and had chosen that for a girl. We then reinforced it by asking her not to use it last we knew she had settled on Rosa until we got a picture message of 'baby belle' which my husband hid from me until his Mum called me upset herself that they had done it.
The name is Belle, which I don't think is that appropriate for a large spinone dog.
I won't be logging into this thread for a while as many of the comments are just upsetting me even more and stopping me from moving on. I'm not sure what I will do I don't want to cause my DH any issues with his family but I do feel very hurt by the situation - very likely hormones - and at the moment I don't want to have to deal with them.

Sorry Seomum I think half the comments aren't taking the mick out of your& situation as you've explained how much you're upset, more the general premise. When it's all water under the bridge you'll come back and see that it is^ funny at first glance.

Good luck, hope you reach a satisfactory conclusion.

Maybe you could name your DD (if it is a DD) Bella, Isabella, or Isabel instead?

CherryPie

I was putting it into perspective (or trying to) for the OP. She is happily pregnant and will hopefully have a beautiful baby in a few months. Does it really matter if she has to opt for her second choice of name? It's not worth getting upset about, when she is so lucky.

And as for your comment that my friend's situation is not SeoMum's fault .

For what it's worth SeoMum, I think your DH's Nan was mean and petty. But just don't let her upset you at what should be a fabulous time for you.

Just call the dog Rosa whenever you see it. If they comment just say "Oh I thought you understood that is to be our baby's name that's why you weren't picking it for the dog wasn't it?" Or just refer to it as 'the dog'.

My neighbour called her rabbit Bella, and her daughter, who came later, is Isabelle - often called Belle or Bella. She didn't name her after the rabbit...

Well I think that's crap. You have every right to be extremely annoyed. Use the name.

Gillybean beat me to it! I was going to say that...just call the dog somerthing else. Refuse to use it's real name. 'Forget' on a regular basis!

I can see why seomum is upset, but I can also see why the Nan went ahead and used it - she probably didn't think it'd cause this much upset.

I know you won't believe me seomum, but by the time you get to 9 months pregnant you'd have been sick of that name anyway and gone for something totally different in all likelihood. DH and I had decided on the name I'd loved since I was 7, but I got to 8 months and totally went off it, and we chose a name I'd ruled out at 3 months because I hated it. I now love it and it suits LO perfectly!

I don't think women are rendered irrational by pregnancy hormones -- I don't understand why anyone should feel they have to explain away a strong feeling they have about their child or their child's name during pregnancy, or any strong feeling about anything really. You have every right to have a strong opinion, and there's no need to put it down to pregnancy, or hormones...

But math it is true for a lot of women that little things upset them more than they normally would... and it is possible for pg hormones to make one unreasonable. Obviously not good if it's used as an excuse to ignore or belittle a pg woman. But it is good to be able to recognise when that is what's happening, imo.

The UK is the only place I know where women routinely discount their strong feelings for or against something while pregnant and don't bat an eyelid at putting their feelings down to pregnancy hormones -- and I think it is used to discount a woman's opinions, even where her medical treatment or pain relief are concerned, or her potential to perform a job, to treat pregnant women as somehow off in a special weird and incapable little world of their own, where their critical faculties are dimmed and their female otherness takes over. How do pregnant barristers and doctors, teachers and other professionals manage to keep their hormones in check and do their jobs if it affects women so much that their judgement is all askew and female irrationality takes them over?

Maybe the truth is that pregnancy hormones give women courage to speak their minds and stand up for themselves more than they otherwise would, and just not put up with stuff that pisses them off as they might while not pregnant -- it's a sort of assertion-training period for when they will battle it out with HVs over breastfeeding, schools over getting in and getting the sort of teaching their child needs, etc.