Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Can you use a name your friend has used?

70 replies

irisblue · 18/04/2010 09:47

I am currently loving the name Sam for our baby boy who is due in July. However, a really good friend of mine had a little Sam last September.

Do you think this means we can't consider Sam? I have been thinking that I can't use it, although it gets so hard as so many lovely names have already been used by friends and family!

Also, it's not like it's an unusual name and personally I don't think I'd mind if it were the other way around...

If we were to use it, I would of course ask her first, but I don't think she'd say she minded, even if she did (if that makes sense!) - hence asking everyone here for their opinion.

What do you think?!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Magaly · 18/04/2010 22:41

You're either very obtuse or just in the mood for a pointless internet argument.

The fact is, a lot of people are a bit uncomfortable about obviously having copied somebody else's unusual idea.

I think it might be time for your meds now SM. You're over excited.

[hands over double dose of valium]

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 22:45

haven't you twigged yet words on a screen - stop getting so personal. you must practise the art of riposte with strangers without resorting to making lame your a loon/take your meds quips.

and i must reiterate imo no one can copy a name.as no one has exclusivity upon a name.

Magaly · 18/04/2010 22:51

You 'must reiterate' must you?! ha ha.

Haven't you twigged yet that sometimes people are allowed to view the same thing differently from how you view it?

That is what riposte is. We're not trying to reach consensus here.

People can 'copy' a name, and they can look like a bit dull and unimaginative for doing so. But that's their choice.

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 22:55

no one has exclusivity on a name.some may erroneously feel their name stolen but not so

Magaly · 18/04/2010 22:57

Yes you've made it clear that that is your opinion.

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 22:58

care to make any more inane quips about mental health?or are you done

Magaly · 18/04/2010 23:03

Nearly but not quite. I hadn't given you a second thought 'til I saw the brown nose thread somebody started in your honour a couple of days ago. A poster you've been rude to/about made the observation that you can dish it out but you cant' take it back. I see what they mean. Somebody else made the observation that on every forum there is at least one chippy sayithowitis blunt Scottish poster. Makes me smile. A bit. And you never did get the point.

Good night.

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 23:36

stick to thread without straying into gripes about me or scottish folk in general. i dont concur with you fair enough but that not same as not getting the point

that's thing about words on a screen you need perhaps not to personalise and maintain a wee bitty mirth and objectivity

i do look forward to the trailblazer thread.

Magaly · 18/04/2010 23:53

You can't have it both ways SM, if you're as blunt and as rude as you are then you don't get to tell people what they can talk about on what thread!

If you can't deal with people hauling you up on your posts then you shouldn't be so blunt and so rude. You are a keyboard warrior, but,,,, sensitive.

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 23:56

seems you cannot maintain an objective distance.all this you are diss and dat is a bit well petty

Magaly · 19/04/2010 00:02

And you can not be polite! All this argument-loving is a bit, well, boring.

scottishmummy · 19/04/2010 00:15

aha semantics you say argument i say riposte.
anyhoo as you were

Bucharest · 19/04/2010 08:02

My daughter has a name. (obviously) We decided the name when I was pregnant. One of my Mum's friend's daughters (not pregnant at the time) got all harumpy when she heard the name and said I couldn't use it, it was hers. (I haven't seen this girl since she was about 10, she's 35 now)

What would you say about this girl? She's a loon right?

Cut to my best friend throughout secondary school, when I am 8 months pregnant, she discovers she is pregnant. We meet up and chat about names and discover, lo and behold, we have both chosen the same name. Do I hit her with a cast iron pan? Do I rush home and switch the puter on and start a thread? No, because I am not a loon. Her dd, 8 months younger than mine, has the same bloody name. Is it an issue? Not for either of us, but if anyone wants to be righteously indignant on my behalf, well, erm.....

Strangely, playdates haven't been a nightmare either, as SM says, we are both capable of recognising our own child in a crowd. (I sniff 'em like wolves do) (but if anyone has problems with that, you could make 'em a bespoke t-shirt with their surnames on or summat.)

OP- honest, it won't be a problem. I was the first with my name (give me a badge!) but when my friend did it, it honestly never crossed my mind to be pathetic and petty about it. If your friend is a loon about it, cross her off your friend's list, you'll be better off without anyway.

suiledonne · 19/04/2010 08:21

I have been in this situation with a good friend and to be honest I was a bit upset about it for a little while.

There isn't a big age difference between our children and we see each other every week.

When I named my dc she didn't seem particularly enthusiastic about the name or say she had ever considered it.

Then when her dc was born she rang me to say she was using the name and did I mind.

I was taken aback because I hadn't seen it coming at all. We had spent ages discussing names and she had never given a hint she was considering the name.

I also felt put on the spot a bit because I couldn't say no because as lots of posters rightly pointed put no one has ownership on names.

We are still friends now and it is not a problem it just took me a while to adjust to the idea.

Maybe I am petty and small minded but I think most people would at least be a bit when out of all the names in the world a good friend chooses the same as you have.

CakeandRoses · 19/04/2010 08:43

If we were talking about an unusual name then I personally would steer clear, as I'd imagine the parents of the first child had spent time finding a name which they loved but wasn't popular. I'd imagine the very last thing they'd want is a friend rocking up with a child with the same name.

As we're talking a bout a very popular name here then it's logical that your friend isn't too worried about lots of other children sharing the same name as she's chosen for her DC. Out of courtesy, I would ask if she minds you using the name too but I can't really see it being a problem.

hazeyjane · 19/04/2010 14:17

Dd1 has quite an unusual name (I haven't met another one at any playgroups etc), and my friend asked me the other day if she could use the same name for her dd, I just felt flattered tbh.

lovechoc · 19/04/2010 16:16

seems Scottishmummy is getting a lot of people's backs up recently...

agree with some other poster who says she can dish it out but cannae hack it. lol

Egwene · 19/04/2010 16:47

If I were the mum with Sam I wouldnt mind at all

NiceShoes · 19/04/2010 17:13

I think Scottishmummy can give it and take it certainly not a shrinking violet, and definitely not stuck for words at all. I do think some posters see her name and the red mist descends.I always thought the main criticism was she can be blunt,not that she cannot hack it.Far from it imo.

MrsvWoolf · 19/04/2010 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread