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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Can you use a name your friend has used?

70 replies

irisblue · 18/04/2010 09:47

I am currently loving the name Sam for our baby boy who is due in July. However, a really good friend of mine had a little Sam last September.

Do you think this means we can't consider Sam? I have been thinking that I can't use it, although it gets so hard as so many lovely names have already been used by friends and family!

Also, it's not like it's an unusual name and personally I don't think I'd mind if it were the other way around...

If we were to use it, I would of course ask her first, but I don't think she'd say she minded, even if she did (if that makes sense!) - hence asking everyone here for their opinion.

What do you think?!!

OP posts:

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lovechoc · 18/04/2010 19:35

SM I think you are taking it all the wrong way now, twisting words etc.

You've made your point, and that's your own opinion - some of us beg to differ

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 19:37

does taking it wrong way mean i dont concur with you

funny that

lovechoc · 18/04/2010 19:41

No need to have a go at one particular poster (as far as I can see on the thread, I don't think I'm the only one with this view!) - there's nothing wrong with having different opinions, but there is if you start to nit-pick and offend other posters by calling them thick, or words to that extent

lovechoc · 18/04/2010 19:44

Having a friend name their baby the same as your own isn't the end of the world but I would imagine it could be awkward at times, as someone else has previously mentioned.

teaandcakeplease · 18/04/2010 19:51

I haven't read the whole thread, as I have to dash, but just wanted to say that a friend of mine has called her son the same as mine. I'm very happy for them. It's a good name and doesn't bother me at all. They had their child about 14 months after mine.

I think by July you may have changed your mind again on names anyway

But I don't personally consider it a faux pas to do it myself. IYSWIM but you could always ask them I suppose if really worried?

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 19:51

unfurl your brow,read carefully see someone called me thick. i have not resorted to petty name calling. i have questioned the assertion that

a name should not be replicated by a friend or acquaintance

2.calling the same name in park will confuse mums. doh why that .take homw same name different kid

i find this whole tippy toe precious me me me my baby name a bit stupid and bit inane.

so do note i find the situation of someone having annoyance or notion of a name claim silly .i have not directed a you are silly, fick or anything else to a named person

lovechoc · 18/04/2010 19:59

"aye makes you look like the brains trust that does"

not insulting at all - after quoting text from one of my posts.

anyway, getting back to the OP...It really is your choice at the end of the day what you call your baby but you've plenty time to think it through before you are due, loads of time to decide

skidoodly · 18/04/2010 20:05

If using the same name is not in any way confusing, why do parents insist on coming up with different names for all their children?

It's such a waste of energy.

I mean, it's not like the purpose of names it to allow us to tell people apart, is it?

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 20:07

why so earnest and humphy faced about names.yes if same names two children is confusing i remain bemused

Wigeon · 18/04/2010 20:07

I would if I loved the name. In fact, one of our friends has called their baby a name we love and might well use if we have another baby.

Two of my very good friends married men with very similar surnames (say, Smith and Smyth) and had baby girls, 2 years apart, both called Hannah! Mrs Smyth did warn Mrs Smith that there would be two Hannah Smith / Smyths and I think everyone was fine with it.

skidoodly · 18/04/2010 20:09

I thought this thread was all about being a complete pain in the arse about names?

You set the tone, I'm just joining in.

But not using the kinds of arguments two 8 year olds might about who "owns" a game.

lovechoc · 18/04/2010 20:09

"If using the same name is not in any way confusing, why do parents insist on coming up with different names for all their children?"

that's a really good point actually.

if it's such the social norm to name your child after your neighbour's DD/DS or your cousin's DC then do we have an abudance of children with different names out there??? Hmm I wonder...

angel886 · 18/04/2010 20:12

Ohhh I think you've hit a nerve with this post!!!

Personally, I don't see that it's a problem and would feel flattered if someone named their baby after my dd.

People get put off names by knowing a child with a certain name if the child is badly behaved etc. Hence, if someone chooses the same name as you dc then they must think your dc is nice...

I'd be offended if a friend called their dog/cat/ferret after my dc though

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 20:13

oh hark at you.feel free to demur if discussion doesn't meet your high standards

oh oh it was you what set the tone scottishmummy.ah only copied ye

very good

glad you are happy to follow my lead

hazeyjane · 18/04/2010 20:15

I don't think it matters at all, although it is polite to ask the friend first. (I have just asked one of my closest friends if she minded us using the name of her ds)

I know 4 little girls with dd2s name, and it really doesn't bother me, one of them is a the dd of a very good friend, and they are together (and will be at preschool together in Sept) a lot, there never seems to be any confusion.

PartialToACupOfMilo · 18/04/2010 20:28

I think it depends on how often you will be together with your friend and the two children.

I worked in a department of ten, where three of us had the same name and another had a very similar name and it was a pain at times. Not just with someone saying our name and everyone going 'yes?' but when one of us was being referred to we always had to use surnames. Sounds silly, but it was a bit of a pain.

Funnily enough in same department two people gave their sons the same name. Was coincidental and mother of second born had a tough time deciding whether to keep the name when the other child was born, but actually the two boys don't see each other much so it didn't make a jot of difference.

With the name Sam, however, there'll probably be so many of them in the same class at school and possibly nursery (if he goes) that it won't matter about your friend choosing the name too!

Magaly · 18/04/2010 20:30

scottishmummy you are seeing this entirely from the POV of the parent of the first child to have the name.

That's only half of the story.

The other half of the story is whether or not a person feels comfortable being the second person in a circle to use an unusual name, because that does show that they're influenced by others. It's like announcing to your friends and family, 'not trailblazers us!'. If you're comfortable coming across like that... then great. but be aware that's how it might look.

StrictlyKatty · 18/04/2010 20:30

I wouldn't like it. I just think there are so many names out there you don't need to go for ones your friends have only just picked.

lovechoc · 18/04/2010 20:36

IRL I don't know anyone who has chosen the same name as my DS in my circle of friends or even friends of friends.

And his name isn't THAT uncommon in recent times - so I think although most people are making out it's perfectly okay, but in reality most couples want to try and be 'unique' when naming their baby and doubt they'll deliberately choose the same name that their friend's have chosen for their own baby too.

There are so many amazing names out there why settle for the same name that someone else has chosen? It's got nothing to do with 'owning' a said name, it's more to do with where's the logic in it when you can choose another nice name.

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 20:45

not trail blazers.be aware-such hyerbole and personalisation.to be honest i dont care much whether or not anyone replicates anyone else baby name.as i have said

i dont have any negative associations if anyone replicates a name

i do think anyone who thinks their name makes them a trailblazer is maybe trying too hard.conversely people who would judge someone as not trailblazer enough....well dearie me some folk do overstate things

hazeyjane · 18/04/2010 20:58

Because the name that both dh and I love more than any other for a boy, is the name that my friend has called her ds. I don't want to be a 'trailblazer' with my lo's names I want to choose names that they will live and grow with.

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 21:06

forgot to add i am most eager to be thought of as "not trailblazers us" esp in regard to names

i hope for gravitas in names.most certainly not trailblazers

Magaly · 18/04/2010 22:23

Scottishmummy, are you aware that there are ways of looking at things besides your way??

You rock up and slag everybody off for discussing the OP's dilemma. There's no discussion as far as you're concerned. But yet you keep coming back to the thread about "stealing a name" to discuss it a bit more.

Magaly · 18/04/2010 22:27

Also, the issue is copying an unusual name (the "trailblazer's" choice, not whether or not the first parents to name their child are trying to hard or not. That's a different thread.

scottishmummy · 18/04/2010 22:38

i eagerly await the trailblazer thread.see you there

hmm a trailblazer name no onerous weighty parental expectations then?

"hey junior go out to the park and be trailblazer today.dont want you being one of those plain weans. no no you are a trailblazer"

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