Am i being a right cow about this?

[paranoidandroidwithabobcut]

am 9 weeks pregnant with dc3 i already have 2 dd's. we picked both first names together and he was ine bout both of them having middle names after people in my family.

now i am pregnant with dc3 we are running out of names we like but i know he would love it if we gave a dd his grans middle name, she died years ago and i never met her.

thing is though i have a really bad irrational dislike of the name, its a lovely name for other people and is possibly in the top ten baby names but for some reason i cant stand it.

would you go ahead anyway and use it even though you really could not stand it just to make your dh happy or choose something else, possibly even leaving a middle name out?

dh has never come out as such and asked if we could use it but part f me feels terrible that the first two are named after my family and none after his.

i know some people think its naff naming children after family members but i was brought up that the middle name was after someone you knew so would rather stay of that whole debate.

sorry about all the typos.

Why is it naff? It is something you do for memory and family history. Is there a similar name you could use or could you learn to live with it as it would be such a lovely thing to do for your husband and he could talk to dc3 about his gran.

If it's only a middle name, I would use it. You can pretty much forget about it most of the time.

And I don't think it's naff for children to have family names as middle names, I like it.

Personally if I really disliked the name then I probably wouldnt' use it. Might the name "grow" on you as the pg progresses?

If not, make discreet enquiries about other female relatives and see if any of their names might be appropriate, if you are keen to use one of his family names.

what's the name???

I'd try really, really hard to come up with something we both liked - alternatively, could you use a derivative of his Gran's name, or use her surname as a middle name?

Tricky one - poor you!

You can also use a female equivalent of a male name and vice versa.

by the way, i would use it.... thing is, middle names are traditionally embarassing for their beholders and the best ones have some personal story/meaning... I think that's reason enough to use it

I don't think you're quite being a cow but I think in your position I would just use a middle name I didn't like if I thought it would make my DH happy.

it seems from your post that you actually WANT to call the child after their great granny, but are really hung up on the name.

Not wanting to get into the middle names debate, but I think if you think the way you (and I) do that middle names are for naming the child after someone, then it doesn't matter if the name is horrible, it only matters that it is meaningful.

My DH's two Grannies had terrible, awful names that I hate, but I don't think I would hesitate at using either as a middle name if I thought it was important to him. If our next DC (39 weeks) is a girl she will have the middle name of his mother, which he hates, and I think is OK.

Does it have to be the Gran? What about his mother? Or a nice Aunt? That way you can do your bit re incorporating family name (which I think is really nice) but without using a name you hate.

I think if you really dislike the name then you're not being unreasonable not to want to use it. Is there a different 'version' of the name you like better, if your DH is set on it?

I like the idea of using family names for middle names generally, though, especially if it's a meaningful name.

What was the granny's middle name? Could you use that one as your dd's middle name instead?

Sorry - misread your original message I think. Is it his granny's middle name your dh wants you to use? If so, what about her first name instead. Is it any better?

sorry should have added that dh had a really bad uobringing and his dear old gran seems to be the only normal person to ever come out of his family.

the name is nice and popular and i dont bat an eyelid when other people use it, its just so not "me"

i must have been murdered in a past life by someone with this name or something

if it is going to help the name is charlotte, and please dont flame me if you have one as i have already said its fine on other people

no it is the grans first name.

What about Lottie?

Lottie?

X post Emily - it sounds as if I'm questioning your sanity!

lottie sounds better to me but does not really go well as a middle name.

maybe i am just looking for faults though.

she was called lottie day to day though so i suppose that would have more meaning to him.

can you think of any first names to go with lottie as a middle name?

Charlotte is not such a bad name, but if it isn't 'you' then there are variations Carly, Carla, Charlene, even Charlie or how about using her surname as the middle name?

Sophia
Emily
Amelia
Elizabeth
Eliza

Possibly too many "l" sounds in most of these names????

How about having two middle names and using Charlotte as the second? Our daughters each have two middle the names, the second of which is a made up family name - it's the name of the place my DH and I got together and started off as a joke but stuck. It's not a name I include on school registration documents etc. but it is officially part of their name.

I would use it. I think it's obviously very important to your dp and it's lovely to be able to tell your children stories about the people they are named after. And you won't use it day to day. And it's not a ghastly name, or a very dating name - go for it.

Maybe it'll be a boy? Does that make things easier? or could you use his gran's maiden name as a middle name (if it' something nice?) Once of my DD's has 'Walker' as one of her middle names after a female family member. I think using family names as middle names is lovely and not at all 'naff'.

Catherine
Jasmine
Zara
Sarah
Francesca
Joanna
Natasha
Anna
would all be ok with Lottie as a middle name.
I love the name Charlotte too.