Am i being a right cow about this?

[paranoidandroidwithabobcut]

am 9 weeks pregnant with dc3 i already have 2 dd's. we picked both first names together and he was ine bout both of them having middle names after people in my family.

now i am pregnant with dc3 we are running out of names we like but i know he would love it if we gave a dd his grans middle name, she died years ago and i never met her.

thing is though i have a really bad irrational dislike of the name, its a lovely name for other people and is possibly in the top ten baby names but for some reason i cant stand it.

would you go ahead anyway and use it even though you really could not stand it just to make your dh happy or choose something else, possibly even leaving a middle name out?

dh has never come out as such and asked if we could use it but part f me feels terrible that the first two are named after my family and none after his.

i know some people think its naff naming children after family members but i was brought up that the middle name was after someone you knew so would rather stay of that whole debate.

[Wilsybear]

Have you both agreed on a first name that you like for a DD? We had a similar situation (although I did know DH's Gran for 10 years before she died) and we used my favourite first name (although we both liked it) and DH Gran's name as a middle name. Like yours it is a very popular top 5 girls name that I personally am not that fond of.

I should also say that like you my DH was not pushing for us to use it. I more than him in fact felt it would be a nice thing to do, given that his Gran had died relatively recently. Plus as someone else has said, loads of people to hate their middle names - I can't stand mine - and this is the argument I intend to use if she ever complains

[pagwatch]

Its a middle name!

You will never hear it spoke aloud once your child goes past about 6. They do the middle names thing at school when they start and then they are forgeotten again for years and years.
My 7 year old DD asked DS1 what his middle name is recently as she didn't know.

I would make this gesture to family and to your DH. You will very very rarely say it out loud for the rest of your life

[ajandjjmum]

Charlotte is not the sort of name that will have people giggling in corners - personally I quite like it - but fully understand that you just don't like it.

Both me and my dd had our middle name after my mums's mum. It works fine with mine, not at all with dd's name, but we liked it and wanted to make the gesture. I hear it mentioned in context about once a year, and is pretty irrelevant.

On the other hand, my mum's true name is Doris, and she would have killed us if we had used that in any way.

I think - taking into account your dh's upbringing - it would be a really loving gesture to let him use Charlotte - and one which you can draw loads of brownie points against!!

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I think you are very kind to suggest it, especially as your DH had a hard time growng up and his gran was good to him.

To be honest as a middle name I woul;d go ahead and use it, even if you don't much like it. I think either Charlotte or Lottie would be fine. Although you don't like it, you probably won't use the name on a daily basis. If his gran ws called Brenda or something I would be with you.

Or, as someone says above, have 2 middle names (my dd has) with Charlotte/Lottie the second middle name.

[weaselbudge]

I think you are fortunate that charlotte is a not embarrassing normal name. Many grannies of our generation are called pretty awful things.
I therefore would use it and make this gesture to your hubby as it really won't affect your dd in any way (unless she was also murdered in a former life by a charlotte!).

[LuckyC]

My middle name is Patricia, for my grandmother - my mum hates it and did it as a gesture, but I love it and I love the sense of connection that it gives me to my grandmother/ that side of the family.

[VoilaAnotherGimlet]

I've a friend whose daughter's middle name is Nellie - although I don't normally like the short version of a name being used, especially as a middle name, it works beautifully and sounds fab and offbeat to me. So why not go for Lottie if that was what the lovely Gran was called? I think it's relaly kind of you to be considering it if you are uncomfortable with it but it would be a sweet tribute to a nice lady.

I also think there are lots of names that would work with Lottie as a middle name, if you avoid ones ending in Y.

Hannah Lottie
Elinor Lottie
Iris Lottie

Do you have a name style you could tell us for the first name?

[SpiceWeasel]

According to the thinkbabynames website, there are 81 names that are a variant form of Charlotte:

Carla, Carleen, Carlie, Carline, Carlota, Carlotta, Carly, Carlyne, Char, Chara, Charill, Charla, Charlaine, Charleen, Charlene, Charlet, Charlette, Charlie, Charline, Charlot, Charlotta, Charly, Charlyne, Charmain, Charmaine, Charmian, Charmion, Charmion, Charo, Charty, Charyl, Cherlyn, Cheryl, Cheryll, Karla, Karleen, Karlene, Karli, Karlicka, Karlie, Karlika, Karline, Karlota, Karlotta, Karlotte, Karly, Karlyne, Lola, Loleta, Loletta, Lolita, Lolotte, Lotta, Lottchen, Lotte, Lottey, Lotti, Lottie, Lotty, Sharel, Sharil, Sharla, Sharlaine, Sharleen, Sharlene, Sharlet, Sharlette, Sharline, Sharlot, Sharmain, Sharmayne, Sharmian, Sharmion, Sharyl, Sheri, Sherie, Sherrie, Sherry, Sherye, Sheryl and Tottie.

Do you like any of those? Would your partner like it "in honour" of his gran?

[SpiceWeasel]

And further to my post it seems that Caroline and its variants are also a related name, which opens up a whole new realm of possibilities...

[diddl]

Sorry if this has been asked, but does your husband want Charlotte as a middle name?

If he does, I think that´s fine and you are being unnecessarily stubborn tbh, especially as your daughters have middle names fromyour family.
He´s not asking much, is he?

[cory]

I don't like any of my dcs's middle names (two each chosen from both sides of the family) and frankly, it's never been a problem. It's the first name that matters imho.