Has anyone else done this?

[BeckyBook]

My husband and I plan on giving our future children a surname made from our two surnames combined ie the first three letters of his surname and the last four letters of mine. It actually makes a really nice normal-sounding-but-unique name and we're really happy about it.

However, I have had some interesting responses when I tell people what we plan to do. (Can I point out I only ever mention it when someone asks what surname our children will have. I have a reputation amongst my friends as a feminist, and we are considered quite a hippy couple by most of our mates and family, so people are curious about we will do.) Some of the responses have been positive, like 'Oh wow! How modern!', some surprised - 'ooh never thought of doing that' and some odd - 'are you sure that's legal?'

Have also had plenty of responses along the lines of 'oh that's cruel, they'll be the laughing stock of the playground, they'll be ostracised, people will laugh at them'. What I want to ask you good ladies is, has this happened to anyone else who has done this? My thinking is that there are plenty of kids in London today who have different surnames from one - or both - of their parents, and I don't understand how this can still be considered an issue. Has it been for you?

Oh and one friend told me that I would have to carry birth certificates around to prove to people that I am the mother! Anyone experienced this?
Very keen to hear other's stories

Thanks everyone who replied - it has been interesting reading! It's great to see that there are others on mumsnet who also find the idea of children taking the father's name not to their liking. I was beginning to think I was even more unusual than I actually am after reading some of the posts...

jamandjuruselum and wheniwishuponastar - thanks for sharing your stories on here. jandj I actually laughed out loud at your MIL's comments, and then felt very angry on your behalf. When I went back to work after getting married a lot of my patients were asking what my married name would be. When I replied that my marital status may have changed but my name and my identity certainly hadn't, one old lady fairly snapped at me 'well if you're not going to take your husband's name what is the point of being married?'

None of my friends have changed their names on marriage, so I still feel a sense of almost-surprise when I hear of a woman who has, especially young women. It just seems like something from the Dark Ages. Here is an article written by an Australian columnist I admire: Why do some wives still change their name?

It's in language slightly more provocative than I would use but I agree with the sentiment. Others who have not changed your names, or whose children do not have their father's name, what kind of response do you hear when you tell people?

I too am AMAZED that women now still give up their born name when they are married.

We wanted to be less sexist, and both change. We both wanted the same name to show we were united to the world.

When you get married if you dont start off as equal then..... its not a good start!
We decided to put ours names together and luckily it worked as both very short.

My husband got the critism but it was right for us. We felt strongly we wanted to all have the same name in our family. Now our kids and us all have same new family name

It was easy to do, both fill in deed poll forms, dated the day of our marriage. Then send copies to banks etc
We got advice from a solicitor.

I used to be ( still am really ) a massive feminist, and I think it is irrelevant that my original surname was from my father. The point is its the name I have had my whole life and is my identity.

If you have reputations linked to existing names then maybe you could leave work & profeesional dealings separate, like many famous celeb women do when they get married. Ie putting Miss Joan Rivers on publicity but use married name in real life, if she is married.

Gelamum, me too

I kept my own name when I got married. Just before we had DD1 we double-barrelled. DH took out a deed poll (and the solicitor interviewed him on his own to make sure it was his choice ). I didn't have to sign it as it says "I take for myself and my wife and future issue". I actually have nothing legal that says I have ever changed my name.

I had all the comments about why did I get married if I didn't want to change my name. Lots of relatives on both sides still send cards addressed to Mrs DH and address the children as Miss/ Master DH. It really is very rude.

Our surname is 4 syllables (2 & 2) and can be a pain. Both me and DH use just my surname at work. DD1 only uses my surname. DS2 only uses DH's.

what i am thinking of doing now is we both keep our names, then we call our children double-barrel

me and my dp were talking the other day and he didn't like the idea of me being ms and not mrs, and said i should be 'submissive' in some way. i think this was a joke. but he still said it! he doesn't have to change any part of his name so i'm confused as to why he's getting het up if i don't change mine.

sorry i know this is a diversion, but...