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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Help! doubts about my baby girl's unusual name

79 replies

katie789 · 18/03/2009 13:03

For nine months my DH and I studied baby name books, only to still be discussing the shortlist post-delivery in the labour room!

We decided on Ianthe (taking the 'ee-ann-thee' pronounciation, after guidance from a Greek friend), which had always been my DH's favourite. I have loved having an unusual name myself, and also loved the mythological meaning to the name.
We thought we could use Thea for short.

Now she's five weeks old (and already registered too), and I'm really worried whether I've made the right decision, mostly because DH was the driving force behind the name. My family hated it to start with, but are sweetly using it now and learning to love the name; friends have been kind about it, but perhaps just being nice?

Already getting a clutch of blank looks when I tell people (doctor's receptionists, HV, midwifes, etc) the name. She's got two middle names (one slightly unusual, one well-known), but I wouldn't prefer them as first names.

I feel awkward using it at the moment, but I couldn't say why. And all I can think about during these long sleep-deprived nights is whether we made the right choice.
I suppose I'm looking for reassurance really - will I grow to love the name on her?

I see it crop up as a suggestion on this board a lot, but does anyone else really see it as a good choice?

PS. Sorry for rambling post - my brain is addled!

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wastingmyeducation · 18/03/2009 13:07

It's lovely, and different without being daft.

It's just new baby nerves making you worry, promise!

Hassled · 18/03/2009 13:07

The name looks lovely written down. I think the blank looks may be more to do with the pronunciation - "Ee-an-thee" may be authentic, but your average English speaker would go for "I - an - the". At least that's how I would say it.

So is it a problem of pronunciation rather than the name itself? Could you bear to change the pronunciation?

DiamondHead · 18/03/2009 13:10

Doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about it, it is you that has to feel comfortable with it.

I think also, you can get blank looks with an unusual name because people aren't yet sure what they think. It's always easier to have an opinion on a name when you know someone who uses it. We all have very immediate opinions for more common names.

If you want to change her name, it's very easy to do in the first 12 months. Why not give it a few more weeks and then see how you feel.

Tommy · 18/03/2009 13:13

everyone wil get used to it anyway - it will become her name and part of her.

(gorgeous I think)

BalloonSlayer · 18/03/2009 13:16

I think it's lovely and it looks as if it is pronounced how it is spelled.

You may have to get used to saying when asked for her name: "It's Ianthe, that's I-A-N-T-H-E."

The blank looks are almost certainly because they don't know whether it starts with an I or an E and have no clue for the rest of it either. They'll learn.

I've had a few surnames in me time and the one I have now is frequently mis-spelled. I am used to spelling it out as soon as I say it. Comes with the territory with an unusual name.

nowtygaffer · 18/03/2009 13:16

I think it's lovely. I couldn't get used to my DD's name for a while. Again, I think it was because it was my DH who was the driving force behind it. (I was convinced I was having a boy so foolishly let him pick for a girl!!). Now I love it and it really suits her.

Simplysally · 18/03/2009 13:22

I think it's a lovely name and having spent 9 months choosing it, it would be a shame to change it now. I do agree though that most people are possibly flummoxed (sp) by how to spell it or prounounce it from the written word. Do stick with it though.

katiepotatie · 18/03/2009 13:24

I think it's lovely.
I believe all babies grow into their names, I know our daughter was about 8 months before I thought that her's really suited her.

shonaspurtle · 18/03/2009 13:27

Ianthe is a lovely name. It's unusual but not hard to pronounce or spell, and Thea is a nice option too.

Keep it imo.

jeee · 18/03/2009 13:28

I thought that this would be a thread involving some truly terrible name, and it turns out it's nice, although admittedly unusual. Bit disappointing really

madwomanintheattic · 18/03/2009 13:31

it's lovely. dd1 was one of the first (and now ubiquitous) freya's lol. everyone we told just looked at us blankly. now there are zillions of them and it's become mn's fave 'so over-popular it should be banned' name. ho hum. next year your whole town will be full of little baby ianthes. people will still spell it wrong though.
beautiful name - leave it just as it is

shonaspurtle · 18/03/2009 13:32

I would have pronounced it Aye-an-thee by the way, but won't now I know better .

When I think about it, Ian is pronounced ee-an. Maybe that's a way to explain to people. Ianthe pronounced the same way as Ian (or is Ian only a common name in Scotland?).

I have a name that is difficult to pronounce or spell (the spelling doesn't help you pronounce it, the sound doesn't help you spell it) and tbh it was a bit of a pain as a child. Ianthe isn't like that though.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 18/03/2009 13:33

I love it.

Nancy66 · 18/03/2009 13:36

I think it's a really lovely name and if it's purely the fact that people can't spell it that's putting you off then I wouldn't worry.

I spell my surname every time I give it - and believe me it isn't even a particularly difficult one. You just get used to it. Don't change a lovely name just because some people are a bit dim.

claireybee · 18/03/2009 13:37

I really like it.

I know I felt a bit wierd about using both of my dc's names to begin with, I think that is quite common and it isn't long before you start thinking of them as the name iyswim and it just comes naturally

frumpygrumpy · 18/03/2009 13:40

She will become this name, don't worry a bit. My niece has a celtic name which is not always easy for people to pronounce or spell but its never a problem. She will love having it when she meets her handsome prince and he is blown away with her and her name becomes their first talking point.

blowninonabreeze · 18/03/2009 13:45

I think its lovely and I also love love love Thea.

DD1 has a fairly mainstream name that I loved throughout pregnancy. For about 6 months after she was born I had real doubts that we'd chosen the wrong name for her.

Now she's nearly 3 and, as others have said, she's grown to be that name - I really can't imagine her as anything else.

ouchthishurts · 18/03/2009 13:53

From my experience, the feeling weird calling your baby its name happens even if you are 110% sure about the name (though not sure everyone feels this, but I personally couldnt get my head round the 'was going to call her x but called her y as when she popped out she didnt look like an x' thing, they look like squished up newborns to me!). With both my DD and DS we were aboslutely set on names - but I still felt weird calling my babies by their names for the first few months (in fact DS only 4 months now and just about got the hang of it!). I also felt weird telling other people their names, and having others call my babies by their names - it felt odd - like I had gone out and bought a teddy bear and told everyone to call it Colin and they all did! All felt vaguely ridiculous!
(though now I write this down it all sounds like I am the ridiculous one I have to say!).
Anyway - I think Ianthe is lovely and unusual and I think in a few more weeks you will feel much more confident and comfortable with it as your DD grows from a little newborn into a proper little bouncy baby with gurgles and smiles etc.

sobloodystupid · 18/03/2009 14:01

snap! our little one has a very unusual name and I am embarrassed about using it in the playground - well, self conscious I spose really. It is a beautiful name and trust me you'll be glad she's not one of a clutch of Sharons/Traceys or whatever the name du jour is...

LuLuBai · 18/03/2009 14:58

Ianthe is really beautiful. Don't worry about not feeling it is right for a tiny baby. I called DD 'The Baby' or 'My Baby' for months. Her name is also unusual, also draws blank stares from strangers, was also disliked by family members but I am enormously glad I chose it. I do really, truly love her name, it just took a little while for her to grow into it.

LuLuBai · 18/03/2009 14:59

ouchthishurts - just reading your post really makes sense. I felt wierd telling people DDs name and hearing it used too.

wotulookinat · 18/03/2009 15:16

I think it's a lovely name and you shouldn't change it.

Fennel · 18/03/2009 15:20

I know a little Ianthe. I've never heard anyone being rude about her name. It's a lovely name.

She is called Eye-an-the.

missblythe · 18/03/2009 15:25

I love it. And adore Thea.

I had similar issues with DD's name, as people constantly asked 'is it welsh/scottish/american?'

Now, I love it, although still have the occasional wobble and wonder if she should have been Nancy all along!

Madigan · 18/03/2009 15:27

I love it too. Beautiful name. But why not change the pronunciation to "eye-anth-ee", as others have suggested, and perhaps you will feel more comfortable about it - because it will be pronounced as it is spelt which makes life a lot easier all round ...... but would not change it, such a lovely name xx

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