Help! doubts about my baby girl's unusual name

[katie789]

For nine months my DH and I studied baby name books, only to still be discussing the shortlist post-delivery in the labour room!

We decided on Ianthe (taking the 'ee-ann-thee' pronounciation, after guidance from a Greek friend), which had always been my DH's favourite. I have loved having an unusual name myself, and also loved the mythological meaning to the name.
We thought we could use Thea for short.

Now she's five weeks old (and already registered too), and I'm really worried whether I've made the right decision, mostly because DH was the driving force behind the name. My family hated it to start with, but are sweetly using it now and learning to love the name; friends have been kind about it, but perhaps just being nice?

Already getting a clutch of blank looks when I tell people (doctor's receptionists, HV, midwifes, etc) the name. She's got two middle names (one slightly unusual, one well-known), but I wouldn't prefer them as first names.

I feel awkward using it at the moment, but I couldn't say why. And all I can think about during these long sleep-deprived nights is whether we made the right choice.
I suppose I'm looking for reassurance really - will I grow to love the name on her?

I see it crop up as a suggestion on this board a lot, but does anyone else really see it as a good choice?

PS. Sorry for rambling post - my brain is addled!

Lovely name (although I am biased, as another Thea 'owner') .. as others have said, people will get used to it - stick with it

I love the name, and prefer your pronounciation of 'EE ANN THEE' rather than I AN THEE.

Thea is very beautiful too! I hope this post has reassured you, I felt the same after naming my DS Noah ( its very unusual where i live) after peoples remarks and raised eyebrows - but I love it now and it really suits him!

What are the middle names? Just curious really

Another "beautiful name" from me too!

Gorgeous! Just inspired me for dd3 actually! (Iolanthe) My older daughters have unusual names, and the eldest one particularly, I got some strange looks. (She's Genevieve, nn Gigi). I have to spell both out to EVERYONE, and get queries on how to pronounce them. She's 6 now and LOVES having an unusual name.

I think you should think about the fact that she needs a name, so has to be called something, and what would suit her more? Most people then realise that the chosen name suits as least as much as anything else they can think of. (And if you do sthink of something that seems more "her", then its not too late to change it! But its a beautiful name you've chosen already.

I really like it and have suggested it on here recently.
I remember a girl called Ianthe from Uni, lovely girl v.posh (bank cards from Rosthchilds iirc) and I loved the name then though she pronounced it Eye-An-Thee which I do prefer to Eee-An-Thee.

What a lovely name. As she grows, she will become Ianthe... as soon as she gets to school it will be normal. Both dcs have unusual names and they love them - have told me it's great that everyone knows them. Must admit, I did have second thoughts though. With ds, the anaesthetist asked what I was going to call baby and when I told her she laughed. Ater her third non-functioning epidural, I vowed that's EXACTLY what he was going to be. Felt nervou for about the first six weeks, then magically he grew into his name. Just wait!

ouchthishurts - I know what you mean. I remember saying to my DH, 'They're all calling her babyfizzpops!'

I think it was partly a sudden realisation of how much responsibility it was and how much harder to name an actual person than I had thought. Was and still am 100% sure of our choice though.

Initially I think it is sort of a baby and label situation. On the one hand there is a baby that everyone knows is on the way and on the other hand there is the label/ name that we stick on it and it so easily could have been something else entirely. Is particularly strange as someone else said when it is an unusual name or you have never heard of it before. Just a matter of getting used to it.

what cool name. Ignore any comments you dont like. Research has shown that children with unusual name tend to be higher achievers. My children are unique and have unusual names which their father and I are completely happy with as we had to share our names with so many people it's untrue. Our daughters are called Kricket and Piper (well that given the game away to anyone who knows me!). Anyway think of the practicalities, it's so much easier when it comes to naming school uniform as i dont need to put their surname on!

I like it but would personally go for the Eye-anthee pronunciation.

Love Thea as a short version. I have a friend whose sister called her daughter Alethea - a lovely name but needs to be pronounced properly - Thea for short. So we got used to calling her Thea. Then parents decided that it sounded too much like Alicia with a lisp (not if you pronounce it properly it doesn't but you can see how this would go wrong) so they changed her name to Alicia before they registered it. However - the nickname Thea still stuck. She now goes by 2 or 3 names - Alicia for school, Thea for her aunt and some of her friends (including me) and then other pet names that vary.

I also wondered for a few weeks after naming DS whether or not we had made the right choice - it didn't quite gel, for some reason. It wasn't wrong - it just wasn't 100% right either. Now, at 15.5mo, it's absolutely perfect of course!

Can't really see how you can get to Alicia from Alathea (the Alathea I knew was Al a thea, with an emphasis on the "e" sound). Seems a pity really, Alathea is much more unusual (and classy I think) than Alicia.

Naming babies is a weird thing, and some of it is about getting accustomed to having a baby at all, let alone the one that gets put in your arms IYSWIM. With ds he fitted his name immediately, but with dd we were convinced she was going to be a boy, and I think the reason why it took a couple of weeks for her name to stick is just because we really weren't expecting her to be the way she was.

I suppose once people have spelt and pronounced the name several times it will feel more natural.
I too would probably have looked blank as I wouldn't have known how to spell it either!
x

nooka - because they were putting all the emphasis on the 2nd syllable thus: Al-ITH-ea, that's how. Told you they weren't pronouncing it properly!

I know a grown-up Ianthe. She is cool. It's a great name.

Ah. Well in that case! it was the a sound to an I sound I wondered about! The Alathea I knew was a grand dame type, friend of my grandmother, and they were all very very posh, so pronunciation was very "correct" - that is if you think "orf" is how to say "off"

If you feel uncomfortable with it now, there's a good chance you'll never be satisfied with it.

"Research has shown that children with unusual name tend to be higher achievers"

• is that really so, happyjules?

I am not asking to cause an argument but my personal experience (working in a school) has led me to the entirely opposite view, and I have avoided unusual names for my DCs for that very reason.

Oh well, too late now

My DD is named Lelaina, we call her Lainey for short. She is 2 now, but for the first year or so, I was awkward about using her name and telling other people. Some gave me the blank look, but most say how beautiful it is and how much it suits her. We never thought about the issue of it being received badly by other people, just that it was beautiful and absolutely perfect for her.

Recently a friend commented in a not particularly nice way on how she would 'have no idea where to start spelling something like that' and promptly left me to sign Lainey into the playgroup myself, and I started feeling insecure about it again. But her kids have vvv popular names - numbers 1 and 2 on the list I think - so they will be known by their surname all through school as they will be 1 of about 25 others with the same name...

The Newsround website has a thread on it called 'Do you have an unusual name?' where kids around 10-15yrs have commented, and all the ones with unusual names love them, and those with more common names generally wish they had a more unusual name - that made me feel a lot better!! It's all about confidence I think You can have names that are unusual and frankly a bit daft, but you can also have names that are unusual and beautiful, like Lelaina and Ianthe! So if people comment that it is unusual, say 'Yes it is, and very beautiful!'

I haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to add that I have found it really hard with both my dds to use their names.

We deliberated long and hard over both of them (they are traditional, not particualrly unusual, but not "little girl" names).

I love their names, but with dd1, it took until she was nearly 2 for her to grow into her name (she was called by a variety of nicknames until then) and for dd2, she is still not quite there (she's 2.3 now), so she is also known as a nickname.

The names are just too grown up for em to use them for such a little baby. I do not regret the names at all, I really love them, but they just have not fitted while the girls have been tiny.

dd1 is definitely her name now (although we stilluse a nickname too - family only though). dd2 is getting there, but is often just called "baby" along with her nickname.

It's a really lovely name, but ....

We named our ds "Aneurin", I'm Welsh but live in London. We could not believe how difficult people seemed to find it, not only to pronounce from reading (which we'd expected) but to get when they heard it. We wanted a name which was unusual but not one that would be a burden to him. You can change the name on the birth certificate in the child's first year, so we switched to his middle name "Ellis". This was ds's grandfather's name, but from reading MN I see some people consider it to be "chavvy" which hadn't even occurred to us. Grr.

Contrary to the majority opinion I'd consider changing her name if you think it might be too difficult, just think very carefully about the alternative.

Ianthe is a truly lovely name. Great choice.

But you are going to have to be a bit of a pioneer in terms of helping people to learn how to pronounce it. And people can behave very ignorantly so you're going to have to think of ways to deal with that too.

Friend has just named her baby Xanthe Rose and I think it's lovely. Similar to Ianthe which is also beautiful.

My DD also has an unusual name - the amount of different spellings and pronunciations we've had has been amazing but I wouldn't change it as it's her and I love it.

It's a lovely name!

ds has an unusual name, you just get used to it, there are far more people that love it than say negative things about it... e.g one woman on a checkout who said "Why would you call him that?"

Hello,

I've jut come back to this thread two months later and thought I'd let you all know how Ianthe is getting on.

Weeell, I'm still not 100% sure about it, but have been using her name more and definitely feeling more confident about it.

A few weeks ago, I decided I preferred the EYE-ANN-THEE pronounciation after all, and am getting on much better with that.

Isla - the alternative - still lingers on my mind, and I sometimes feel envious of the few little girls and babies I've met who have that name.

DH is being great, and although he LOVES the name, understands how important it is that I do too. He says he'd be open to me changing it if I really felt strongly about it, but wants me to take plenty of time to make the right decision.

So that's where I am - one day (soon I hope) I'll post with our final decision.

By the way, her middle names are Gwyneth (our Welsh roots) and Katie (my middle name and my mum's name).
I have considered swapping Gwyneth for Isla as a compromise though...

Ianthe is a beautiful name. Think I prefer the Eye-ann-thee pronunciation too. You will soon be unable to think of her as anything else. I had the same situation with my 3DDs. They have quite unusual names but I have no regrets at all. They have really grown into them. Good Luck