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Original poster

Do you care if close family do not like the names you choose?

53 replies

soon2befamilyof4 · 24/02/2009 22:54

We had sort of decided on Talia (spelling will be looked into as it seems there are several ways to spell it but want to decide on a name first of all).

Hadn't decided 100% but I am 32 weeks and it is the only name me and DH both like.

Anyway, said it to MIL and Mum and both, although they didn't actually say anything, it was very obvious they didn't like it (and this was seperatly so didn't influence each other on that).

In some ways I think "sod what they think" but then on the other hand I think that if the only 2 people in RL that I have told so far didn't like it then maybe we have made the wrong choice?

OP posts:
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HappyCrappy · 25/02/2009 00:08

Oh yes, It would have been cruel not to. I am sure they are now called Ian, Steve and Brian. Just guessing, and they're not great names, but better than the previous ones. I have sometimes wondered if they were actually christened? Hmm?

Babbity · 25/02/2009 00:12

Twistle - I've always loved the name Mars aili - had a friend at school called this - she always used to say Marsa ili "rhymes with parsley"

thumbwitch · 25/02/2009 00:26

lol at HC - I sort of assumed that Pebbles would be a girl, after the FLintstones' daughter!

HappyCrappy · 25/02/2009 00:41

Sad, but no, Pebbles was, and presumably is, a boy. I must start a thread about the horrors of my life in Local Authority property management. You all need to know about the poor woman who used to ring me umpteem times a day to tell me that her neighbours' son was er, doing a dump in her flowerbed and I had better get round there damned quick and take a photograph - eeuuw to the son doing it and me having to capture it on camera. Then there was? Oh, it's late - let me know if you want to hear more?

thumbwitch · 25/02/2009 00:44

love it HC - perhaps you should start a lovely thread about "Local Authority workers' horror stories" or some far more witty title? But not this late at night, maybe...
and yes, Eeewww to that story. My parents were both local councillors for long years - they used to get all sorts of nutters constituents phoning them up at all hours demanding their presence to witness some atrocity!

HappyCrappy · 25/02/2009 00:54

thumbwitch - the nutters I mean voters are out there all the time. I am sure that your parents have many stories to tell! Why do the nutters constituents always want a photo?
Yes, I will start a thread, probably at the weekend. It could be quite funny, or it could bomb.

frazzledoldbag · 25/02/2009 09:48

I wouldn't worry what the parents think/say.
They will get used to it.
(When I had DD1 and named her - not outlandishly either, the name is I think in the top 30) my dad looked at me peeved and said 'What did you call her that for?'
Charming!
Hmmm. Never mentioned it since.
And MIL said to SIL when she has named each of her 4 kids 'Nope, don't like it. Think of something else!'.
(SIL stuck to her guns and ignored her).

Oh and I know a Pebbles. She is a girl

wb · 25/02/2009 09:55

Both my mum and my MiL really disliked ds1's name (which is unusual) but stopped saying so after the birth. MiL used to wince as she said it (but has stopped now thankfully). I think they are still secretly not keen but they adore ds1 and are doting grannies. I am still pleased we chose the name we did.

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 25/02/2009 09:59

Talia is a beautiful name.

Your child so you get to choose the name. it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks apart from you if you love it then use it.

People will get used to it. my dd is unusually named and we have had some snide comments and looks but it suits her and has a lot of personal meaning for all of us (me, dh & dd). The naming process is personal to parents and nobody else. xx

dinkymum · 25/02/2009 11:48

nope wouldnt care unless had very bad and legitimate associations for them, I personally never mentioned any possible names to ppl then by the time they find out that name it's not just a name its a little person. hth x

electra · 25/02/2009 12:21

In answer to the question, no.

PlumBumMum · 25/02/2009 12:26

I love talia but we never really told anybody names, actually we never made any final decision on names until babies were born

I think its your own decision and find it very odd how families get on abut names, I haven't spoke to my father since my dd was born as he didn't like her second name and will not apologise for causing a scene in the hosp

PlumBumMum · 25/02/2009 12:27

*about

Original poster
soon2befamilyof4 · 25/02/2009 16:33

He caused a scene in the hospital about not liking the second name? I don't blame you for not speaking to him since.

OP posts:
PlumBumMum · 25/02/2009 16:39

He dosen't think hes done anything wrong , but I still wouldn't change anything she has a beautiful name,

so if Talia is what you like go with it, my 1st dd we had a choice of 2 and everyone always said they preferred the other choice, and now shes going to be 8 and everyone comments on how lovely her name is and how much it suits her

sweetkitty · 25/02/2009 16:47

hi soon2b I really must stop stalking you.

This is why I ALWAYS say NEVER tell anyone (MN excluded) in RL your shortlist of names, you will always get a "lemon" face and a comment. Names are so personal and your family will have their own favourites.

A name like Talia (which is one of the most beautiful there is ) is always going to provoke a response. We were never 100% sure up until the morning DD2 was born but the minute she popped out we said "oh she is a Talia"

MIL said "oh well as long as she is healthy" ) but has since admitted that she wasn't keen at first but now her name suits her perfectly.

Your baby you get to chose the name.
My Mum said "where did you get THAT from, how do you spell THAT, I will have to write it down" but then again she is a complete idiot, I would actually go out my way to name a child something she hated (bitter emoticon)

My Dad still cannot pronounce it (my Talia is 3 now) and calls her Tal-yar, I have to keep correcting him , wearing thin.

intheLiffey · 25/02/2009 16:54

Apparently I did. I thought about Greta but my mum said "are you trying to make me vomit?".

My Mum suggested names like Amanda and Claire and Debbie .. the same names on HER list 30 odd years previously.

She thought everybody would laugh at 'greta' or 'Elsa'. I said they would laugh at Amanda!

minouminou · 25/02/2009 17:04

Heh heh! Did I care? Errrr, no.
In-laws are hinting that DD's middle name (due in April) should be Joan, the female version of John (DP's late brother).
Are they having a laugh?

KERALA1 · 25/02/2009 19:41

Golden rule really is don't tell anyone until its born. MIL is a very straight talking (ie rude) person. She said that our boys choice "sounded like a farm boy"!

Leannabanana · 14/03/2009 19:30

Well i made the fatal error of sharing our tentative choice of girls name for DC3 and totally regretted it as my sister said it was wishywashy and mum asked if i had made it up and that it wasn't a real name....put my right off the name that did...shame cos i really liked it til that point....will keep our new 1st choice a secret from RL family....

lunamoon2 · 15/03/2009 12:03

It is a lovely name.

Why do people always feel the need to make personal comments?

I mean if you visited somebody's house and you personally didn't care for their choice of decor you wouldn't start harping on about the fact would you? You wouldn't dream of saying "Why on earth did you paint that wall violet? beige would have been a much better choice!"

Don't tell anyone else in rl your choice, or you could tell a good freind about your parents reaction in the hope that they will say how much they like the name.

MrsMattie · 15/03/2009 12:07

Couldnt give a toss what anyone thinks about my kid's names!

Fwiw, though, Talia/Thalia is beautiful

Tommy · 15/03/2009 12:21

We never told anyone our choices for names and then no-one could make any comments! Once the child is born and named, no-one really says they don't like it (not to your face anyway)

Rinky444 · 19/03/2009 19:42

soooooooo agree with lunamoon2, people seem to think they can make such rude and inconsiderate comments when it comes to pregnancy and babies, but you can't retaliate with equally personal or hurtful comments grr!

On the names front, I'm 39 weeks and still stuck for names (don't know if girl or boy). For a boy I love the name Jonas (from before Disney/Jonas Bros!)and DH did too, but we made the mistake of suggesting it to ILs. MIL announced that she HATED it which I thought was a bit strong, and SIL said it sounded like 'anus'. Part of me still loves the name, and another part of me worries about school kids in years to come making the same association. As for girls names still completely stuck. Lots of people have said that the name just becomes associated with the individual so I'm just hoping for a flash of inspiration when I meet baby.

I have vowed for future babies that I will not discuss names with anyone except DH (tho he is so fickle there seems little point anyway!) because ILs have made it so hard. They keep suggesting names aready chosen by my siblings for my nieces and nephews, and don't see a problem with the repetition!

Stick to your guns, Talia is beautiful, I might add it on to my own list!

pavlovthecat · 19/03/2009 19:43

No. Not one jot. DD was DH and my baby, and this next one is ours, not theirs. They are welcome to opinions but that is all they will be, and they will bloody well be pleased for us!