My mum and the baby name part 2.

[ComeWhineWithMe]

I am not a violent person but I am having quite violent thoughts towards my Mum right now.

I posted the other day about her refusing to acknowledge the baby if we call her the name we want ,she made a big scene in front of relatives and showed herself up TBH.

Anyway I have just had a phonecall from her saying I am making her the laughing stock at work and that she is going to call the baby Daisy no matter what and that the baby will know her real name from her Nan .

I am trying to ignore her and laugh it off but she is upsetting me a lot and I know she will do it because she has called my nephew a different name for the past 14 weeks of his life due to not liking the name my dsis choose .

She is very overpowering and will try and make me look stupid in front of people I have no confidence in RL and I know she is going to make things hellish when the baby is born I am getting wound up thinking about
it .

She will not come round .
She will not care if people tell her she is been foolish.
She will not respond to any threats such as we will get the dc to call you Granny (which she hates)
She will just carry on stomping over everyones feelings and not giving a shit how she makes other people feel I can not believe I am getting so het over a name but she has really really got me angry today.

Sorry - completely off topic, but I honestly don't see much difference between Edith and Ethel. There are loads of little Ediths around and not a single Ethel. And if I were having to choose between the two I actually think Ethel is prettier.

The thing is, you hold all the cards here. You are going to be the one going the Registrar and naming the child officially. You can decide that your mother doesn't see her gc until she stops acting this way. And you can do this all quite calmly and give your energy to enjoying the rest of your pregnancy and enjoying your baby.

I know this sounds harsh but even if I loved the name the mere fact of someone insisting that is what I named my child would make me dig my heels in and call them something else.

If she is at all interested in seeing her gc she will have to back down. In the meantime if anyone brings the subject up just say, 'We will not be naming her Daisy' end of discussion.

I remember your other thread and am so sorry she is still being a crazy old bat.
your DD is YOUR DD for YOU and your OH to name. If your mother loves the name daisy so much and wants to call someone daisy buy her a dog/cat/fish and call your DD Violet (although hopefully you've rethought the VEG thing?)

Leeza2.. I wouldn't stoop so low as to criticise a name once someone has chosen it either,I'm just saying that if her colleagues are that low, then I really don't understand it when we are talking about a perfectly pretty name. Not condoning it at all. My DS2 is called Wilfie so I have some experience of people choking n their gag reflex when I tell them his name. Depending on how magnanimous I am feeling I either say, 'Well we think it suits him' or to one woman in Sainsbury's who snorted "I can't believe anyone would call their child Wilfred" I said "Well I can't believe anyone with a modicum of intelligence and manners would be so incredibly rude to a perfect stranger, so you clearly have neither".

What can you do?

twosofar love that response
(great name too)

ComeWhine, I really sympathise, my MIL has reacted in a similar way since the birth of my son, her first grandchild. Since my OH told her the name, she went into a flying rage for reasons which to me are frankly racist and completely unreasonable (long story). This really upset me because at the time my DS was in special care and her focus should have been on him getting stronger and coming home, not his name FGS.
But she does share a few traits with your mum - she is overly concerned about what other people think (we liken her to Hyacinth Bucket) and refuses to be called Grandma or even anything similar because she's in denial about her age. God she has so many issues!
Right now, several months down the line, she refers to DS as anything but his name - little soldier etc.. and it still really gets to me but it's her problem and she's the one who's missing out because it has caused the gap between us to widen even more, and a consequence she sees DS less often than she would if only she would behave differently.
I hope she sees sense before letting it get to that stage, good luck

god she sounds awful

I thought that maybe you had chosen a realy strange or outlandish name from her unreasonable reaction, Violet is a lovely name.

SHe is a controlling bully and she needs to be stood up to, even if it upsets you she needs to know that her behaviour is unacceptable. I hope this gets sorted before your lo arrives dont let her ruin your pregnancy

CWWM, Are there any positive things your Mum brings to your relationship? Is she otherwise, kind, generous and a great help in caring for the children?
If not, why don't you just cut the strings? You say she would go away if you told her to.

But even if the OP had chosen a weird and wonderful name, it's still not the grandmother's place - or anyone's really - to be so controlling about it.

I think Bubbaluv is right - you need to think whether things are going to improve with her or is it time to cut your losses?

I don't think I'd have much time for someone like that in my life. She thinks she can control you. Why does she think that?