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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Should (quite a bit) older siblings get a veto on a new baby's name?

86 replies

SoLongMarianne · 10/01/2009 22:23

I'm pregnant (still superstitiously negotiating 1st trimester so not "out" on mumsnet yet but am a regular poster) with older kids (all over 9). I was idly discussing names with my other half today only to be interrupted every two seconds by our children's impassioned pleas not to inflict any of our most treasured choices on the new bairn. Cries of "Urrgh! that's the worst name I've ever heard!" and "No! There's a horrid kid called X at school and I will never forgive you if you name my brother/sister that!" and so on and so forth abounded. I'm not planning to hand over naming duties to them wholesale or anything but if they really hated a name should that be taken into account?

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sunnydelight · 12/01/2009 06:14

DS1 (then 9) came running in from the playground when we were visiting family in Ireland and said "I have a name for our baby sister" as he had met a little girl with a name he loved. So did we so that was what she was called.

TheLadyEvenstar · 12/01/2009 06:42

SoLongMarianne,
It was all up to him. I had a name chosen and 2 days before i had ds2 i decided i didn't like it. So i asked ds1 what name he liked and to pick a name for ds2 and he did, I am glad i let him as he chose a name I wouldn't have thought of but Love, Zachary. It really suits ds2.

nooka · 12/01/2009 06:54

No way I would let my children have any say (sorry kids!). I'd be happy to take suggestions, but the choice would be dh and mine. Not that it's relevant, as dh has had the snip! However I wouldn't let them name any pets either (unless they were specifically theirs). I've watched their taste with their stuffed animals, and their many families on the Sims and it is not good! The poor child would either be baby - maybe little baby, or perhaps noisy baby (to go with doggie, and lambie, and flippers etc) or would be called after whatever film or best friend dd had that week (and ds would probably come up completely blank, but disagree with anything dd suggested). Also I'm not sure that the playground side is that useful, as nine or ten years later when this child goes to school different things will be funny/teaseworthy.

HelenBurns · 12/01/2009 07:34

It'd be nice if they got a say in it but genuinely I think I would have the final say, because it would be my child and I'd have pushed it out

and had a list since I was 9

When I was pg my ex's children wanted me to name the baby certain things. Ex said he had no ideas, but told me theirs which were OK but tbh it didn't seem like they would even know the kid very well, so I didn't go with their choices - and I don't think they would have cared too much anyway - but when I told him the name I'd chosen he made a great fuss about how he didn't like it

Turns out they have never even met the baby.
I kind of wish they'd been more involved though and we could have named him together.

berrysmum · 12/01/2009 21:20

I asked dd1 (then aged 4) for her input on DS2's name and (amongst various my little pony names) she came up with what we chose to be her sister's middle name. When Dd3 came along dd1 was 5 and really loved the name "Rosie" - it wasn't 'on our list' but we compromised and gave her the middle name of Rose. DD1 is so proud that she helped choose their names and I definitely think it helped with the bonding process.

TooMuchMakkaPakka · 13/01/2009 01:01

I was five when my brother was born. My best friend in nursery had been called Ben. I called my brother Ben for weeks. Then i stopped and called him by his actual name.

Incidentally Ben was high up our list for my DS, but we didn't call him Ben. I had my turn at naming later, and so (possibly) will your DCs.

ninedragons · 13/01/2009 05:27

You could definitely get suggestions - they might surprise you. A friend's DS was insistent that he should name the new baby boy. They prepared themselves for having to let him down gently about not calling the baby Optimus Prime, but he announced it would be Oliver, which both parents loved.

twentypence · 13/01/2009 05:41

I think you and dh need to discuss in private only and then very firmly when baby is born introduce them.

TheLadyEvenstar · 13/01/2009 07:19

I like the fact that ds1 had such a big input in chosing ds1's name ok he did suggest Harry (as in potter) David (as in tennant) but then said "What about Zachary, you said before you liked that name mummy and I know I do" So that is ds2's name, and it suits him much better than Konnor would have.

yellowflowers · 13/01/2009 14:32

Tell them they can call the baby whatever nickname they want but the given name is picked by the parents.

duchesse · 13/01/2009 14:42

Just wanted to chip in not to comment on the names thing, but to say am in same situation as you, Marianne- 1st trimester with three older children. Would love to talk again when you are "out".

Btw, didn't Bob Geldof's daughters name their younger siblings?

Oh, defo ignore any pleas re names of horrid kids at school- your baby will be lovely and recast the name.

NormaJeanBaker · 13/01/2009 14:56

Our children had a say - we gave a them a short list of three we liked and they said which they preferred. Seemed to make everyone happy in these parts.

Their own choices were Doughnut or Gerald McBoingBoing, so we felt a shortlist helped guide them in the right direction.

stroppyknickers · 13/01/2009 14:58

Noooo- we thought about this, and in my preg head state, ds3 almost had Dude as a middle name.

Original poster

SoLongMarianne · 13/01/2009 21:32

Oh thank you, everyone. Am laughing at the thought of babies named Dude and Gerald mcboingboing! It's nice that some of you had such great input from older kids though- yours all sound less stubborn and more sensible than mine!

Congratulations duchesse. Great news. I'm finding it v exciting, the prospect of having a tiny baby again after all these years. Am really paranoid about things going wrong though so waiting for 12 week scan before allowing myself to really believe it, in a way.

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 13/01/2009 22:35

My cousin had her ds when her dd was 3. She was in hospital and discussing possible names with her dh in front of her dd. She asked "What do you think of David?" and her dd took that to mean that the baby was called David and started calling him that immediately! My cousin and her dh were so worried that her dd would think that they had left "David" at the hospital and brought some other baby home that she felt she had to call him that! So David he is!

sweetkitty · 13/01/2009 22:41

DD1 was adamant DD3 was a girl called Rosie and would not even entertain the fact it might be a boy, she was with us at the scan and came out and said "see I told you it was a girl baby called Rosie"

I thought she would be upset that DD3 is not called Rosie (horrendous with our surname) but she was fine when we told her DD3's actual name.

I don't discuss names with anyone in RL as everyone has such strong opinions on names and can always find something horrid to say about them.

Keep your name to yourself and once the baby is born they will have to like it.

chipmonkey · 13/01/2009 22:43

I remember being relieved that my brother was a boy as my younger sis was going to get to name a girl the same name as a local TV presenter's baby and it was a name I hated.

cheesesarnie · 13/01/2009 22:46

ds1 named ds2.dd choose a girls name,ds1 chose boys name.dd ended up chosing middle name.did have the old rainbow kitty debate a few times.

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 13/01/2009 22:47

My stepsons "choose" Tink's name (from our list). Tink choose Fifi's name, also from a list - both names we liked anyway. I'm not sure I'd go too far with allowing siblings to name my child!

KatB · 14/01/2009 03:19

My oldest 2 were 5 and 7 when I had dd2 (now 5). My DS wasn't interested but I let DD1 choose the middle name as I quite liked it anyway (Emma after her best friend). Had she chosen something insane not sure I would have been quite so accommodating. Her rabbits are Gabriella and Sharpay

DH's brother was 10 when he was born and gave him a horrendous middle name which he has never lived down - they laugh about it now though!

Am ttc no 4 now and I know they'll all try to have a say but it's impossible to keep them all happy.... names are a very personal thing and trying to find something that not only you and DH agree on but 3 kids too will be almost impossible.

The name will grow on them and they will love the baby not the name.

NAB3lovelychildren · 14/01/2009 07:15

We let our eldest choose the middle name for our youngest and he kept the same name all the way through. There was no convincing him otherwise!

mumoftoby · 14/01/2009 09:23

I couldn't have let my eldest choose. He was 18 months when his brother was born and loved the name Percy - his favourite engine in Thomas the Tank!

fortyplus · 14/01/2009 12:21

My dh had a sister called Judy so when his little brother came along wanted to call him Punch!

snowleopard · 14/01/2009 12:24

I have a friend whose two big brothers were allowed to name him. They picked Gary and he's not happy!

pagwatch · 14/01/2009 12:30

My DS1 was 10 when DD was born and asked if he could name her. We asked ( expecting Britney or Ralph or soemthing).
he actually chose a lovely first and middle name which we imediately went with.

(on my profile photos if interested)

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