Can I insist on a name hubby not too keen on?

[fgpl]

We know we are having a girl this time and I really like Phoebe as a name as does my son (he's 4)
Hubby says he doesn't really like it but will go along with me as He says I will get my own way in the end.
He says all people can think of is Friends when they hear the name, which I don't think is a bad thing.
Anyway I am really set on Phoebe and can't think of her as anything else but do you think I should discount it if dh says not keen?
He isn't really putting up much of a fight to be honest so I am sure he would go along with it.
If he said a name I didn't like there is no way I would go along with it.
We did originally like Olivia or Elizabeth but not comfortable with Olivia as so popular at moment and know lots of girls called Liz who I am not really keen on.
Your opinions greatly appreciated.

how would you feel if he insisted? I think it has to be a name you both like, not one you love and he settles for.

but I do like the name Phoebe

are there none you can agree on?

you may like Phoebe but there are lots of other pretty names out there

Chloe? Zoe? Xanthe?

Of course you can't! Imagine how you would reply if someone posted "My dp is insisting on a name I don't like - what should I do?

no, you can't and shouldn't insist

find something you both love

keep searching

Important you both like the name. If the baby has arrived and is two weeks old, desperate to come up with something then perhaps compromise. While you are still pregnant, plenty of time to come to an agreement. There are thousands of names out there and you only need to find one you both like enough.

No - use it as a middle name if you can't bear to be parted with it.

I was dead set on a particular name for my son and my family liked it, but dh flat out refused and so we chose something else. With the benefit of hindsight, I am very glad we did as I now share dh's problems with the original name.

fraid to say i agree. it is a huge thing and your dd will be his as much as yours. a joint decision on a name you both like is the only acceptable solution i reckon!

Oh, and the fact that your ds likes it is very nearly irrelevant. My dd wanted to call our ds Ariel. Or failing that, Gaston. Needless to say, we didn't!

If you don't like Liz what about Libby (short for Elizabeth)?

My little boy wants to call this baby "polly parrott" - probably best to agree on a name with dh rather than ds!

all the names you mention are lovely. i actually like olivia best.

I really think it needs to be a joint decision. I had my heart set on Ruby or Amelie but bf hates them so I've had to wave goodbye to any hope of naming her (if it is a her) either of my fave names.
However, he did then say that as long as baby has his surname I can chose the first name but I told him that I don't want to do that. Despite the fact that it would mean I could pick one of the names that I have loved since TTC I would rather have a name that we have chosen together and we both love.

I like the name but I really think it has to be a joint decision - his baby too. . .

My husband and I couldn't agree on a name for our second baby if it turned out to be another boy. I made so many suggestions and his were all a bit...well, lets just say his fav was Fox or Wolf! (Sorry to any mummies of a Fox or a Wolf) I pointed out that I had done most of the work producing the baby so I should really have the deciding vote. Has he made any alternative suggestions or is he just poopooing your fav?

Given a couple of weeks of careful manipulation my DH would come to believe that Phoebe was HIS idea and a fantastic one at that!

I think it would be dreadful to insist on a name that he doesn't like-you have to find a compromise. My DCs all have different names to the ones that I would have chosen on my own. How would you feel if he insisted on a name you weren't keen on?

Don't get me wrong. I'm far from insisting on it. I have just asked him a few times if he likes Phoebe, and he has said "not really but I know you like it", type of thing.
That's why I'm asking advice really. He has said a definate no to quite a few names, but seems sort of resigned to Phoebe. Am I missing and oppurtunity here that he isn't totally against it or what.
I wouldn't really be swayed by my 4 year old. He also calls the baby dumpling but not considering that one.
Bubbaluv, thats what I mean I feel that i could turn this around but is that morally wrong, that is the question.
I do like Olivia but my son name gets shortend to Al and I don't like Al and Olly as shortened versions together.

fgpl, if you can get him to a point where he's happy with HIS idea to call the baby Phoebe then everyone is happy! At the end of the day, having one parent love a name and the other thinking it's OK, is better than having 2 parents who settle for a name that neither has strong feelings for IMO. After all, a month after your baby is born your DH will think it's the best name in the world!

I think he is probably not saying a definite no to phoebe cos he knows you really like it.

Do you like any of these?

Alexa
Rosanna
Clara
Cara
Beatrix
Emille
Amelia
Ava
Rosa
Claudia
Flora
Madeleine
Matilda
Esther
Lydia
Julia
Becca
Anna/Annie
Elena
Felicity
Philippa/Pippa
Henrietta
Daph ne
Milly
Molly
May
April
Amber
Susanna
Peggy
Mabel
Thora
Theodora
Nell
Darcey
Dixie
Ta bitha
Tamara
Xanthia
Emelina
Emiliana
Catalina
Christabella
Blair
Luca
Emmeline

I agree it should be a joint decision but, we hadn't sorted a name out for dd when it was decided she had to come out a few weeks early. DH was lobbying for his choice of name and I wasn't keen, just didn't 'love' it. Anyway, eventually dd was dragged kicking and screaming into the world and I decided we needed to name her immediately and agreed to DH's choice of name (to give him his due he did say we could leave and think about it the next day but I insisted). It became her IYSWIM and I have loved it from that point and still do 4 years later. She couldn't be called anything else.

I would say though it does depend on his degree of not wanting it - I didn't dislike dd's name, I just didn't love it.

I agree it should be a joint decision but, we hadn't sorted a name out for dd when it was decided she had to come out a few weeks early. DH was lobbying for his choice of name and I wasn't keen, just didn't 'love' it. Anyway, eventually dd was dragged kicking and screaming into the world and I decided we needed to name her immediately and agreed to DH's choice of name (to give him his due he did say we could leave and think about it the next day but I insisted). It became her IYSWIM and I have loved it from that point and still do 4 years later. She couldn't be called anything else.

I would say though it does depend on his degree of not wanting it - I didn't dislike dd's name, I just didn't love it.

He shouldn't settle for a name because he is resigned to it. You know that it isn't the one that he really wants- so I would keep looking (I would discount a 4yr old).

I agree with Pisces regarding discounting the opinion of a 4 year old. DD (4 at the end of the month) would like to call the baby I am currently brewing after 2 of her friends on a good day and Stripe or Star on a bad day.

oooh Stripe. may i pinch that?

Phoebe is a lovely name but I'm not convinced you should go with something you both don't love (or at least like)

Maybe you could wait until she is born and then find a name that suits her little personality.

I think you should see how Elizabeth or Elisabeth sits for a few days - as in Beth, Betty, Libby, Liss, Lissa etc. Such a great name.

I think partners should always have a veto unless they are totally negative about every single name in the book tbh.