I know you can't steal a name but. . .

[SAEJ]

OK, I am an adult, I know this sounds petty but I still feel a bit miffed. A close friend has had a baby, and knows that we have chosen Mabel as our baby name. She has named her DD Mabel.

I knwo you can't steal a name, I know I sound like I am 9 years old but I still feel a bit hurt. It won't stop me from using the name but it has certainly taken the shine off it for me.

I have not said anything - I can't bear to even raise the topic because I know how childish it sounds but she really did know we wanted the name and she even acknowledges that she loved the name after we chose it.

Go on, let me have it, am I too childish for words?????

I'd be annoyed too, if that helps at all

No, not childish - I would be annoyed about it too

You're not childish, i'd be slightly miffed too and would probably stamp my feet and demand that she gave me my name back

It'll probably now seem like you're the one who has stolen the name - but you know the truth, and if you really love the name, don't let it stop you from using it.

Just be sure to tell as many people as possible that she stole it

just never say the name you want.

Martha is a lovely alternative.

kick her in the fanjo

Thanks, this makes me feel better. I honestly really feel like such a tit for telling her.

Kicking her in the fanjo has crossed my mind - lots. Would even wear my pointy shoes to do it.

I will still use it, am just peeved!!!!!!

I'd be annoyed. It's true imo that you can't steal a name in the top fifty, and it's also true that two long time friends with a similar background will probably find the same names appealing,,,, but I think exactly the same name???

she was being a cheeky mare there.

Tell her that you don't mind as you sense it might do a Ruby-style rocket up the charts and settle at #2

I don't think so btw, but I think it is rising.

What about polly (penelope), Dulcie margot (margaret) Lois (Eloise) Vivien, Belinda, Susie, Juliet, Phoebe, Ivy, Pearl, Joy.

Mabel is lovely but there are other quirky gorgeous ahead of the fashion curve type names out there.

A few suggestions.

Penelope Joy (Polly)
Penelope Vivien (Poppy)
Penelope Lois (Penny)
Margaret Phoebe (Margot or Greta)
Margaret Susannah (Maggie)
Vivien Eloise
Dulcie Pearl
Dulcie Juliet (like that one a lot)
Juliet Susannah
Juliet Pearl
Juliet Ivy
Susannah Pearl (susie)
Belinda Pearl
Belinda Joy

hth

Are you pregnant with a girl?

Liffy - Love your list - Penelope is my second favourite an I have to admit that this may well make me choose it as a first name. Just LOVE all it's abbreviations. Ypur list is great - Pearl is so gorgeous but DH hates it !

Curly - Yes, due March 8th - scan says girl but we have picked boys names just in case!!! You?

It doesn't matter now, but I suggested Gregor to a pregnant acquaintance once in a restaurant. We were all chatting about names for her benefit, and I suggested Gregor and a few others. My McList

She laughted heartily at all of my suggestions. I shrugged and thought, alright, The World needs another Jack doesn't it [mean bitch emoticon].

Guess what she called her son? About 8 wks later she said to me with a completely straight face, "yes we really wanted something a little bit different". I'm convinced she had no recollection I suggested the name to her. v. odd.

And she didn't even pinch my name but it annoyed me! So YANBU. Wrong board!

Ah no, I'm done with reproducing! (got 2 boys) I just wondered as my sister was in the same (similar) boat. She always liked the name "Amy" - for YEARS, and her best friend would always say "Yes, that's nice" but not enthuse over it exactly. When her friend got pregnant first, she told my sis if it was a girl it would be called Amy. My sis was a bit gutted in case she ever had a girl herself, but I don't think she said antyhing. In the end, though, her friend decided on "Emily" anyway. My sister ended up having a girl a few years later and had changed her mind about Amy by then anyway, so I think she's glad she never made an issue out of it at the time!

For what it's worth, I don't see anything wrong with your girl being called Mabel too. Especially if your friend knows that's what you'd picked - she'll have no right to think that you copied her. Funnily enough, my mum and her first cousin have the same name - so that means my nan and her sister both chose the same (fairly uncommon) name within a couple of years of giving birth. I grew up with it so it seems normal and doens't cause any confusion, although I suppose when they were together in the same room as babies it might have been a bit more confusing!

You may even decide that when you see your little girl she just doesn't "suit" Mabel anyway, and go for your second choice or something!

Whatever happens, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it!

I think it is always possible that when she arrives I might look at her and decide she is just not a Mabel and I agree that I don't think it is worth making an issue of - she is still a good friend.

This is the only place I have actually dared to raise it because I feel that I really don't have any rights over the name - it is not like I invented it but as Mrs Wolf says - I just feel it is a bit off.

I do feel far better for having vented!

I do understand you feeling that way; bizarrely we all like to think we 'own' the names we choose, don't we?

Look at this.

8,860,000 Google entries for 'Mabel'. No name is unique. Move on.

Next time you chat about baby names with your preggers pals you should offer up really grotesque names as your faves and then laugh as they christen their offspring 'OstiaPompeii'!

How about Mariella or Marianne?
Or Lucy?

it is very off. She is not a good friend. She is an inconsiderate cow.

I would never do that to a friend of mine and i'm certain they wouldn't do it to me.

Do you have long to go? I had a name lined up for so long I got sick of thinking of it and then chose something which was more unusual and which I prefer.

I would feel miffed too, but chances are as her baby grows into it over the coming weeks you will think of that baby when you think about the name and she will become Mabel and you will cool off about it wrt your own.

You will think of another which I bet any money you will say in a couple of years time you are happier about. Because your own baby will grow into it and make it her own iyswim.

Violet
Violetta
Vivienne

How about Amabel?
It has Mabel as a short form, but is a little more unusual and not poised to race up the top 50!

Sorry I don't see the problem with her using that name. As you said you can't steal a name, or claim it.

she might have thought the same about you when you first mentioned it for your baby - they might have already chosen it.

Amabel would make me think you couldn't decide between Annabel and Amelia. It looks bonkers.

It looks bonkers to you Liffey, but it is, in fact, a real name!