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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

I know you can't steal a name but. . .

74 replies

SAEJ · 30/12/2008 18:22

OK, I am an adult, I know this sounds petty but I still feel a bit miffed. A close friend has had a baby, and knows that we have chosen Mabel as our baby name. She has named her DD Mabel.

I knwo you can't steal a name, I know I sound like I am 9 years old but I still feel a bit hurt. It won't stop me from using the name but it has certainly taken the shine off it for me.

I have not said anything - I can't bear to even raise the topic because I know how childish it sounds but she really did know we wanted the name and she even acknowledges that she loved the name after we chose it.

Go on, let me have it, am I too childish for words?????

OP posts:

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pulapula · 01/01/2009 13:20

There was an Amabel in my class at school in the '80s although i just thought it was a misspelling of Annabel!

I would use the name anyway if you decide your baby suits it.

Two cousins of mine (brother and sister) both had DDs both called Rebecca so if they can do it, then I'm sure you and your friend could both have Mabels.

TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets · 01/01/2009 13:26

I like Elsie and Sylvie

nappyaddict · 01/01/2009 15:38

pulapula - were both the cousins living in the same area, born at a similar time though?

LiffeySaysHappyNewYear · 01/01/2009 15:42

I don't think a brother and sister should use the same name for their children (cousins)). It may not confuse them, but it means that one set of grandparents has two grandhcildren with the same name!

I'd hate to have two gc called Rebecca.

wombleprincess · 01/01/2009 16:57

i would be very annoyed but at the end of the day you have the chance to have the last word and choose an even nicer name that she wont be able to use!! (

LaundryFairy · 01/01/2009 17:10

I heard another lovely old-fashioned name in a play yesterday: Florie. Think it's lovely.

missymoo2411 · 01/01/2009 19:30

i think u shud use it if u want yr dd is far more important than her friendship just makes u think has she stabbed any one else in the back ..moo

seringoutthosebellstonight · 01/01/2009 20:16

Buy the ugliest dog you can find and call it Mabel.

Annie or Nancy or Cecily are sweet for the baby.

ScottishMummy · 01/01/2009 20:21

some of you gals are petty.same name big deal.would you implode at baby group if you meet another Mabel,howl at toddler group,stamp your feet petulantly at primary school gates

grow up

TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets · 01/01/2009 20:26

ScottishMummy, that's rather different to having your very best friend knowingly filch your chosen name from under you though.

Cupofteaplease · 01/01/2009 20:32

Well, my dd is 19 months old and called Mabel so I think you're stealing it from me, actually

But seriously, the way your friend has gone about it is very underhand ie telling people that you chose it, but ommitting to mention that you chose it for your OWN baby!

Nevermind, I would suggest using it anyway as it is a beautiful name (biased, me?!)

For what it's worth, my dd1 has a very best friend with the same name as her and they are continuously known as Big/Little X or The Two Xs, and I didn't know her mum when pregnant. So these things can happen- you or the other Mabel could move away and you would never see each other again. Or, we could move to your street and then there'd be three Mabels!

If you love the name, use it

ScottishMummy · 01/01/2009 20:33

oh not if name is known and in public domain,then tough titty you cannot exclude other's use

EachPeachPearMum · 01/01/2009 22:31

This is why you should never let on the names you are actually really considering for your new arrival! People willa sk, yes, but you just have to smile sweetly and say 'Oh we want to see what he looks like first before settling on one'

And Liffey I think we may have been separated at birth- when I heard my colleague's new much awaited grandson was a Jack- that is exactly what went through my head -apologies to all Mums of Jacks out there, but personally I wouldn't go near a top 50 name....

nappyaddict · 01/01/2009 22:50

EPPM - if it's been your favourite name ever since you were a little girl though or it's the only name you and DP can settle on or you want to name your child after a particular person you can't always avoid a top 50 name or even a top 10 name.

mrswoolf · 01/01/2009 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EachPeachPearMum · 01/01/2009 23:57

True, true, but I find it odd that people have only 1 name they can settle on with their DP- if you have so little in common- won't you clash over lots of other parenting issues too?

And no you're right mrswoolf- names do change a lot in popularity, but Jack has been top ten for about 15 years! (sorry Nappy- is your ds a Jack? )

Nappy- no name I have liked since childhood would ever be top ten I am far too oddball non-mainstream for that!

nappyaddict · 02/01/2009 00:05

Well part of his name is Jack. His middle name and the first part of his name are less popular but both in the top 100. unavoidable cos he was named after my brother (think it was quite unusual when he was born). When I was younger Jack wasn't a very popular name at least not in our area. I didn't know any until I was 15. That's the other thing a top 10 name for the whole of the uk might be really unpopular in some areas and you might have a name not in the top 10 or whatever that is really popular in some areas iyswim. For example where my cousin lives Esme is really popular yet that isn't even in the top 100.

nappyaddict · 02/01/2009 00:07

EPPM - I don't think you would necessarily clash on other issues either if you couldn't agree on a name. Taste in names is very much like taste in clothes. If your dp had a different taste in clothes as you it wouldn't really matter. Personality is what really matters in the long run.

Mooseheart · 02/01/2009 00:14

My friend and I were pg at the same time. When choosing a name I fell in love with what is now dd2's name, however I had a vague recollection of my friend mentioning it once.

So I emailed her (in Canada) and didn't commit to it until I received the green light from her. Turns out she loved it but her sil had called her dd that so it was out of the question for her!

So no, you are most definitely NOT BU. There is something of an etiquette involved in name ownership, particularly with slightly unusual names and your friend has behaved most inappropriately!

seeker · 02/01/2009 00:26

Maud

ScottishMummy · 02/01/2009 00:29

hooey!you like a name,use it.if in public domain it is fair game for choosing.no etiquette required

you chose a name,you take your chances.hoping some quirk of fate doesn't make it name du jour for eejits

EachPeachPearMum · 02/01/2009 00:48

Nappy- if my DH had different taste in clothes... I would just make him buy new ones Oh wait... already did that!

nappyaddict · 02/01/2009 01:27

i would go mad if my DP made me buy new clothes cos he didn't like the ones i liked.

nappyaddict · 02/01/2009 01:40

Also if I had another boy I would like William (my Dad's middle name) which is number 10.

If I had anymore children after that I would pick more unusual names because I do prefer unusual names but I also like to use family names as they have a lot of sentimental meaning aswell.

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