When the PILs insist the new baby is named after one of them ....

[ghosty]

This was relayed to me by a mum at school. Playground gossip, pure and simple, but it's perfect for MN.
So the family in question are Aussies and the parents came from Greece in the '60s. The Greek tradition is that babies' first names are after the grandparents. They don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl. If the baby is a boy he will be called Peter (easy peasy). If the baby is a girl she has to be called .... Antigone
(the way the mum pronounced it it rhymed with Antipathy )

WWYD? the mum is in turmoil ...

use it as a middle name

Tiggy for short? Annie?

Surely this is the point at which the parents say 'yes, that was how you did it in Greece in the 60s, but that's not how we do it here and now'.

(I think Antigone is a great name, tbh - but naming is for the parents to do, not the grandparents.)

I'm confused about the pronunciation - what's wrong with it (sort of) rhyming with antipathy?

yes am sat here trying to make it rhyme..it doesnt, does it? Quite like name Antigone.

actually, I quite like it as well! Wouldn't use it, but still

wouldn't do it unless we wanted to. (me and husband). If you can't say a big loud firm NO when required, becoming a parent was a huge fucking mistake!

They won't be able to do anything to MAKE you, unless your DH will be guilt tripped...

Just nod and smile and then name the baby what you want. To use it as a middle name is a nice compromise, as long as you like the name of course!

Oh just realised it isn't you as the DIL in question .

Advice still the same though.

agree with fizzpops, your friend should nod and smile and just register the baby with the name she and her dh choose. Maybe give the baby Antigone or Peter as a middle name if they are feeling generous.

I'd pronounce Antigone as ann-tig-on-ee, btw, don't understand antipathy reference.

I think the antipathy reference is to avoid people thinking it's pronounced An-ti-gon, iyswim.

id use it as a middle name

Is it pronounced ant - ig - on - ee? That's how i've always said it so would be quite if i've been wrong all this time!

depends how traditional the parents in q are. they can can always do it and then call the baby by their chosen middle name. once upon a time that happened here too! most of my grandparents generation had 'family' names on thier birth certs but were called something else entirely...
i like antigone though. very dramatic, and tiggy would be very sweet. excellent choice, and far more interesting than peter lol.

Oh, I see.

Actually, this isn't just Greek tradition. IN Ireland in the 18th and 19th century it was still very common for the first daughter to be named after paternal grandmother, second dd to be named after maternal grandmother and so on and so on.

We've let it go. But it was our tradition (in GB generally I mean) to do this too.

NOW though in 2008, I'd only use a name if I liked it. I'd be polite and so on, but I think it's a bit cheeky, as the PIL to expect your children to name their children after you. They are aware that the World has changed. It is not a mark of disrespect! If they choose to take it that way they are sticking their heads in the sand about the way the world has changed.

Suspect we've just proved what Tanya Bryon said about the MN demographic - a bunch of posters who are educated enough to know how to pronounce Antigone... (Unless the OP comes back and tells us, no, we've missed her point.)

ps, Annie and Peter are lovely. Tiggy is ok too although I prefer Annie.

Actually, I think it'd be quite cool to be an Annie short for Antigone. I'm not sure I'd want to call out AnnTIGunee in Tescos though...... I don't love it that much.

You neeeeed the Greek connection though. I wouldn't like to say, ooh yes, no not greek at all, just flicking throught the name book, anastasia, annabel, anneliese, antigone and thought that's the one!!!

i'm chortling at antigone with an aussie accent in tescos now...

Glad that it isn't an english thing. FIL is called Barry. I don't think i could have a baby Barry

If i didn't like the name i would say no. Or do what Katie and Peter did because they didn't like Savva call the child Junior but that obv is better for a boy.

"My baby, My name!"
is what i would be saying.

Although, My DS1's middle name is Shane (my grandfather's middle name)
and DS2's middle name is Kyle (after my brother who died)

That was my choice though. I don't like having things forced on me and would be a bit peed off if it was. Choosing a name is difficult enough without family thinking you should name them after them.

By that way of thinking, everyone in the family will have the same names. I think a baby should have their own name and maybe include a family name as a middle name maybe?

I'd probably take a photo of my bum and invite them to kiss it