why do people agonise for months over the perfect first name-middle name combo only to end up using some silly nickname?

[beforesunrise]

it makes no sense to me: oh she's called Olivia Rose but we call her Lili. or Alexandra Sophie but we call her Ali. or James William but we call him Messy.

why this obsession with nicknames and shortening perfectly lovely and wonderful names?

I have two dds and they both have short and wonderful name... and i am fed up of people coming up to me and saying... oh yes, X is very nice, but what do you call her? ehhrr.. X??

You have a good point! All the agonising and then 'oh yes, we call him Burp' or whatever.

Mine all purposely have names that I didn't think could be messed with but I have heard a few mad attempts from their friends to either lengthen them or come up with some weird version. None has really stuck though thank goodness!

I think most are outgrown though at some stage.

I love 'Messy' though. All three of mine (and dh) could adopt that one

mine both have very long and quite grown up names that are shortened, thats how like it, I chose the shortening at the same time as the name and it was important to me, dd2 has a very unusual name which doesnt work for a toddler but is beautiful for when she grows up.

I agonised for months over 3 names that I liked both as full version AND as a shortened version which we picked. I did this because my sister (named Colette) was and is still known as Colly or Cauliflower - she loathes it. I wanted to make sure that the name could be shortened and if so, I had a vague idea of what that shortened version would be!

My parents picked names for my sisters and I that wouldn't be shortened. I've always been known by my actual name.

When the DS's were born, we picked names, knowing that we also liked what they were likely to be shortened to. DS1 is rarely called by his 'long' name, DS2 sometimes is. However, they've got them as an option when they're older.

Middle names weren't really a big issue for me, but we picked some as we've got a really common surname, so they need the middle names to help differentiate them a bit.

I never shorten my DCs names.

Nicknames are mostly used as a sign of affection. I like being affectionate.

i agree they are sweet but i much prefer when they arise spontaneously- our nanny calls dd2 "shushka" which is bulgarian for little bug (euuurghh) but sounds so sweet, so i use it too sometimes.

i just don't get the planning of shortened names. it's so artificial.

I agree with ILTMIMI - I'm Victoria, but am only known as that if: a) in trouble with my mother, b) At the doctors, or c) at a job interview....

My mum chose names for me and my sister (Rebecca) that had a vatiety of alternatives in case we didn't like our names when we got older - I could chose to be Victoria, Vicki, Vix,Vic, Tori etc etc, although seem to have settled on Trix (only by close friends and family) and am Vicki everywhere else.

Mum was also concious that being girls, if we married a man with a short last name that our first names would balance things out - if I was Jane and I married someone with the surname Bell, I would be Jane Bell - very monosyllabic, whereas I would be Victoria Bell, which she thought would be a bit more interesting. (Obviously apologies to all the Jane Bell's out there!!)

When it came to naming my DS, DH and I chose a name that we both adored, but that could had alternatives...when he grows up, he can be Joseph, Joe, Joey etc. Funnily enough, the name that's stuck for me is Joster?!?! Very odd I must admit

At the end of the day, naming your DC is a very personal thing, but you've got to accept that kids will always find a way of shortening it - my DH is called Kieron, which MIL thought no-one would be able to shorten, however at school, he was known as Ron, Kez, Ques-ce-sez all sorts!!

I think give your DC a nice, solid name for them to use at formal things and leave the rest up to them!

I just don't get the point of middle names full stop - we don't do them in my family, which is a tradition I intend to stick with - coming up with none name is hard enough.

Nicknames are rife in my family and what is wrong with that? I was named after my maternal grandmother, she was never known by her full name and had her own peculiar nickname, I am known by a variety of nicknames, my brother is. My two dd's don't have names you could shorten, yet they have both aquired nicknames at school and nursery, I just have silly things I call them and they love it.

It's most definitely a thing my family go in for - my Granddad refers to my mum, me and my 2 dd's as Topsy

Oh and Nancy66, both of mine have middle names, but wish they didn't - DD1's middle name is Jade (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!), named by her father, about the only thing he did afore he buggered off

I suppose middle names allow you to be known as that if you grow up and dislike your first name....my mum is known by her middle name and everyone is surprised when they find out her first name! It's the same with my friend too - been friends for years, yet I only found out last year (at her wedding) that she is known by her middle name!

I think its nice to have a choice when they are older

most nicknames are a bit "cutesy" which is fine for a toddler / small child but not as an adult

I love the name Caitlin,as is a lovely name as it is
and if wanted can shorten to Cait,Caitie etc

we came up with the "silly" nickname first and then picked a longer version that was more normal/respectable/lawyerish :P

dd2's "silly" nickname is a concession to english-speaking people so they can pronounce it :P :P

beforesunrise, perhaps it's because they want to?

I reckon people should do what they like about nicknames. If u like them, use them. If you don't, don't. What is the issue here?

Btw, My daughter is called Madeleine and I think Messy would be a perfect nickname for her, thanks for the suggestion.

I specifically chose DS' name because it couldn't be shortened.

He has a middle name because his father wanted him to have his name (whioch I was not sure of) and because I wanted DS to have 2 to choose from in case he disliked the first one.

Soupdragon, i am sure they want to- i just don't get why

Because they blimmin well want to! For the same reason you don't shorten your children's names. For the same reason some people like marmite and some don't.

FWIW, I hated having a name I couldn't shorten. Absolutely hated it. No affectionate nickname just my sensible, serious name.

It's all about choice.

all three of my girls have long names of which we use shortened versions of AND 2 middle names

we chose DD1's name by the long version then picked the shortened version to use everyday

DD2's name we loved the shortened version so chose the longer one as having given DD1 a longer name we felt we had to do the same for DD2 iyswim?

DD3 has a longer first name and is known by her middle name which is more commonly a boy's name we wanted her to have a girly long name the same as her sisters but wanted to call her by this name so made it her middle name - nothing like confusing people

I think its up to the individual what they call their kids and wouldn't let it bother me in the slightest what other people thought about the names we've given our girls. I suppose its because I've always hated my name and wanted my girls to have a choice of what they want to be called when they're older. DH is known as a name that doesn't even feature anywhere on his birth certificate as he was called it when playing rubgy and its stuck ever since.

their middle names are just a way to honour family members/friends which is something we wanted to do - also a personal choice, I personally don't have a middle name myself and its never bothered me

and according to MN baby naming pages I've given DD1 a name thats too common, DD2 a name thats 'chavvie' and DD3 a boys name thats ridiclious on a girl lol

all that or maybe I'm just indecisive!!!

Because "Lili" can apply for a job as "Olivia" and actually be taken seriously.

soup I have a double barrelled name and always wished to have a short name that couldn't be shortened or have people tag 'walton' on the end of

its funny how we always hanker after what we don't have! I still to this day don't think I suit my name or have grown into it in the slightest

LOL. I agonised over ds2's name, had countless tedious threads on MN sounding people out on various names, and I can pretty much count the number of occasions I've called him by his actual name on one hand!

Nice to think he'll have the option of being called by a proper name though when he is old enough to complain about the nicknames.

Middle names are funny. I have to stop and think what my dc's middle names are.

We chose dd's name because we wanted to call her a very silly shortened version of it. It suited her as a baby..now she is all grown-up (5 year old) we mainly use the long version of her name.
Surely when people agonise over the perfect name they are thinking about how the name can be used for all of the individual's life..my mum calls me 'Pudding' but she gave me a very sensible name to use at work.