why do people agonise for months over the perfect first name-middle name combo only to end up using some silly nickname?

[beforesunrise]

it makes no sense to me: oh she's called Olivia Rose but we call her Lili. or Alexandra Sophie but we call her Ali. or James William but we call him Messy.

why this obsession with nicknames and shortening perfectly lovely and wonderful names?

I have two dds and they both have short and wonderful name... and i am fed up of people coming up to me and saying... oh yes, X is very nice, but what do you call her? ehhrr.. X??

When I was pregnant with DS DD started calling my bump Douggie. We had a girls name we agreed on but couldn't agree on a boys name. When he was born and turned out to be a boy we looked at him and decided that actually DD's Douggie suited him very well. BUT we were conscious that Douggie is a shortened name (and didn't like Douglas, Dougal etc) so made it his middle name and gave him a family name as his official first name. He has never been called anything other than Douggie though, his other name is simply to give him a choice when he grows up.

I thought that DD needed a name that A) suited her as a child B) suited her as an adult C) she could get a job interview with D) suited her as a grandmother. We chose Clementine, as a wee one she is Clemmie or Clembly, I am sure as an adult/grandmother she will just be Clem and Clementine is interesting enough to get recognised on a CV. I always knew we would shorten it and all variations are just fine with me..... but she does get called Mooster most of the time !!

dh would let me have Clementine the swine

dizzydixes... poor you, these DH's can be pesky! I do love it, she is Clementine Mae

we went with Cordelia instead but still LOVING Clementine

cordelia is lovely too, loving Delia or Deelie

lol - cordelia is our DD3 who is know by her middle name as well!

Yes I wonder that too when I'm in Tesco yelling "splodge and tubs, we're going now".

i loooooove the name Cordelia (case in point!) and i think it is such a pity to shorten it/alter it to anything at all!

i mean- don't get me wrong- of course my dds have nicknames- but they're silly and intimate and i would never introduce them to anyone else with them.

of course- each to their own- i was just wondering whether i was the only one to feel that way...

Yes, there's some parents choices I question.

I knew a brother and sister: Joanna who was shortened to "Jobsy" and Alexander who was shortened to "Ecky".

Poor kids.

I don't have a problem with "pet" names, but I wouldn't use them in public!!!

Imagine calling your oh by their pet name.

Find it strange to choose a name knowing that you will never refer to your child by that name though. What is the point in that?
You may as well ask the registra to name them.

middle names are often "family" names - my DS has DH's father's middle name as his middle name in memory of DH's father (we didn't want his first name).

Message withdrawn

mine are

mouse
beef
boo
nuisance
Gin (pronounced Geen it's vietnamese)
and Netting - Bobs

Affectionate as an earlier poster suggested

Dizzy i love your childrens names and want to steal your dd2 nn myself... (think its dd2 - L?)

My childrens names are the nn versions. Then they get called nicknames of that - Millie is Mimi, for example.

I think it is a matter of perspective... those people who don't 'get' shortened or nicknames tend to emphasise the fact that they want to choose a name that they like - so why choose a name that then gets changed into a nickname?

However, other people (myself included) emphasise finding a name that the child likes. So the names I have chosen for both my daughters both have the full name and at least 3 different / respectable shortenings (such as Kate) that my DDs could choose should they not like their names. I like the full names, but I have also chosen names where I like most of the rational nicknames to be derived from that name too.

Having a name that I hate myself, I know from experience that whilst my mother named me, I'm the one who has to live with that name (unfortunately for me!) - so when it came to naming my children, thinking of my daughters' satisfaction with their names (whether the real name or a pet form) was more important to me than my own opinions of that name - after all, they're the ones who have to live with their names, not me... so nicknames were very important to me!

i gave mine silly first and middle names and perfect nicknames.

I agree with your point Ketal about ensuring you like the derivates of a name.
Hence if I was thinking of picking the name Benjamin but detested Ben then I would pick another name.
But what I find inexplicable are people who choose a name, say Sophie Sally but never have any intention of calling the child Sophie or any derivative of Sophie, but call her something entirely different lets say Pat.
Now if Sophie detested her name and choose to go by her middle name of Sally, then yes I can understand that.

Strangely I have come across this a lot (ie where the parent uses a completely different name). Perhaps I am not lateral thinking enough and insist on too much logic or plain old common sense!

I know someone who loathed the fact she was known by so many different names by so many different people, so she named her little baby Roy. Its never been shortened. Poor thing though...Roy.