Would you use a name you know your friend LOVES and has been 'saving' ....

[DisenchantedPlusBump]

for when she has a girl?

When I say friend, the last time I saw her was about a month ago and before that Christmas. We do talk occasionally and I do class her as a friend, but not the 'see everyday or two and do loads of stuff together' sort.

Plus She has 3 boys, I have 2 boys (she is desperate for a girl) and I'm having a girl first.

??

I agree with Hester. really I think it's unfair for people to bagsy names for children they don't yet have (even tho I've got a couple up my sleeve that I hope others don't use) but since she has and since she has difficult circumstances I'd probably steer clear. Apart from anything else you don't want any reason to feel uncomfortable about your dd's name. But if you really don't see her very often, or if you're likely to be living further apart etc then I'd worry less. I've got a friend who phoned up anohter friend to ask if she'd mind her calling her new son the same name as the friend's ds. The ds was older and hte friend was flattered, but bit different as she'd named him first.

difficult situation but i think you should steer clear of the name (beautiful though it is)... even though she may never have a girl

Poppy is not an unusual name so I don't see the problem. I really, really wanted to call DD1 Esme but DH wouldn't agree cos a friend of his had a daughter called Esme. When DD1 was about 4mths he fell out with friend and we've never seen them again- 5 yrs later. Was fuming to say the least.

I think that you're doing a lovely thing. She's going to be stressed enough as it is, and there are plenty of lovely names to go around. To be honest, DH and I have always had several names on the go for both genders, both times that I've been pregnant, partly because of this problem.

I don't think it unfair to 'bagsy' a name as such. I do think, though, that if someone were to use a name I clearly said I was planning on using that they should be prepared for the fact that I would still use the name myself.

My best friend pinched my favourite girl name after specifically asking if there were any names I wanted (i was pg at the time). I had a boy so it didn't matter and I doubt there'll be any more kids. I am over it but she was really annoyed with me cos the name I called my son is the nickname she wanted for her first daughter!

SIL called her daughter the name I have always wanted for a DD. She had no idea I liked it and I bear no grudge at all. Her kid, her choice.

However, although I still like the name I now associate only with my niece and have gone off it for a child of my own for that reason.

I have a friend with a Lucinda who we call Luci and Lucy is one of the names dh and I like for dc3 so I asked my friend what she thought. She is a friend I see maybe once a month. Our children only really see each other in the school holidays. Friend doesn't mind as she pointed out there are alot of other Lucy's out there. I think it's your friends situation that makes it hard but i would ask her and if she was against, I wouldn't do it unless it had been a name that I had loved for years, allways planned on using etc.