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Baby names

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Original poster

My mother thinks that me being 40 weeks pg (ie when we have already CHOSEN names and are just waiting for the baby) is a good time to.....

52 replies

FrannyandZooey · 08/07/2008 11:18

...tell me various names and even TYPES of names (eg "I can't stand all this old fashioned Mabel business") that she doesn't like

I tried to shut her up and pointed out that in literally a few days I will be telling her the name of her new grandchild and if it turns out to be Mabel etc she will feel rather awkward

she said no she won't, because she knows we won't have picked anything like that, because she has already said that she doesn't like them

I said I wasn't actually keeping a list of what names everyone disliked and that funnily enough dp and I had picked names that WE liked

she says she won't feel awkward anyway, she thinks it is funny

the thought that it might be upsetting for ME in any way obviously not crossed the old mind

yes I am being precious but are these sensible or kind things to say to an overdue pregnant woman?

btw the type of girls name we like is definitely the Mabel sort So I am not just being hypothetical

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SoupKitchen · 08/07/2008 11:22

Your Mum is being out of order, Knowing that you have chosen the name she should keep her opinions to her self on the subject.
Be as precious as you like - at 40+ weeks it is your right

cornsilk · 08/07/2008 11:23

oh dear! Is she very excited?

MrsTittleMouse · 08/07/2008 11:24

She is being really stupid and insensitive. But you know that already! It's not unusual though, my Mum told me of names that she liked and hated because she had known lovely or annoying children with those names, and we had to stop her before she hit on something that we really liked. And her father (i.e. my grandfather) refused to call me by anything other than my middle name until my Mum lost it with him (he wanted the family name but I was called what my parents wanted). So you're not alone!

StellaDallas · 08/07/2008 11:24

I love the name Mabel. My grandfather's first wife was called Mabel. I wear her wedding ring now.
Tell your mum she is hurting your feelings.

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 08/07/2008 11:25

I think I am right here obviously
you will notice I did not dare post in AIBU though

OP posts:
lulumama · 08/07/2008 11:26

mabel is a beautiful name. i also love matilda

can you be blunt with your mum and just say ' you are hurting my feelings when you talk like that, we love old fashioned names'

MamaG · 08/07/2008 11:26

I don't think yuo are being precious actually. You've tried to talk to her about it and shut her up and she's just digging a deeper hole (is she embarrassed? Or does she have the hide of a rhino )

Shall I give you an example of what is NOT sensible or kind to say to v pregnant woman, so you know you're not alone? When i was pg with DD, at 8 months, my grandad died (Dad's dad). My MIL said to me "Well they say someone in the family has to die to make way for a new baby"

  • feel much better for that.
ImLovinIt · 08/07/2008 11:31

Mabel is beautiful. You're not being precious and even if you were you're entitled at 40+

Being evil, I would have lots of fun thinking up the most ridiculous name and convince her until the baby is born that is what you've chosen

LadyThompson · 08/07/2008 11:32

I know it's really hard - particularly at a time like this! - to let things ride off you, but you have to. Are you going to change your names if your Mum doesn't like them? No. Tell her she is not being helpful.

My own mother actually texted me this morning to say that she hoped I wasn't going to call my forthcoming daughter anything presumptuous like Apple or Wednesday. I'm not, I'm going to call it something a bit pretentious that she won't like either, but I have told her I am not telling her what it is until the child is born and that she is to save her comments about it for behind my back

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 08/07/2008 11:32

oh good lord at MIL comment!

I suppose I would have thought it obvious it could hurt someone's feelings to say all the names you don't like, so I tried saying it would make her feel embarrassed instead

apparently neither situation is a problem to her

btw we haven't chosen the actual name Mabel
but I agree it is lovely

OP posts:
Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 08/07/2008 11:34

you know, Mabel is growing on me minute by minute....

we have so far told her we like Herod
we've said we want to keep it a surprise but she does keep digging

perhaps this was the last ditch attempt to get me to reveal what it is?

OP posts:
LazyLinePainterJane · 08/07/2008 11:36

MamaG!!!

Franny she is clearly a loon and even if you have a boy you have to tell her it is Mabel for as long as you can keep it up!

LilRedWG · 08/07/2008 11:40

Mother's are evil. My dear mother quite happily told my sister that she didn't like her beautiful new baby's name because, "I had an aunt with that age - she was horrible."

LilRedWG · 08/07/2008 11:40

Mothers NOT mother's

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 08/07/2008 11:40

LOL yes Stanley was the other name mentioned as being particularly disliked so dp has been referring to it as Stanley Mabel since then

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 08/07/2008 11:41

With that NAME - goog God, I can't type today!!!

LilRedWG · 08/07/2008 11:42

I'll get my coat.

F&Z - I love old fashioned names.

Spidermama · 08/07/2008 11:44

Franny I'm so out of touch I didn't know you were expecting any day now. All the very best of luck with it.

As for mums and names, I really think they care deeply and want you to choose certain names so they find ways of attempting to stake a claim and have a say through the back door. Let it wash over you. Easy to say I know.

My FIL disliked DS3's name so much he'd always stumble, pause and end up saying 'The Baby'. It's quite upsetting but now ds3 is 6 it seems to have ironed out.

ImLovinIt · 08/07/2008 11:46

I might be odd but I love Stanley. I know someone with that name, I dislike him very much but I still thinks it's rather cool for a little boy.

Spidermama · 08/07/2008 11:46

I like Stanley too.

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 08/07/2008 11:47

I think Stanley is coming back in, bigtime
we know 2

Spider thank you! I think you may be right about caring deeply. Oh well. Shame

OP posts:
MamaG · 08/07/2008 11:56

my MIL tried to persuade me to call this baby Hannahlaura (all one word) for some bizarre reason

I gave her a steely look and said "i don't think so"

Pinkglow · 08/07/2008 12:18

My DH told his mother our favourate boys name which is Gabriel (even though i told him not too

her reaction - oh hats horrible, its a bit biblical isnt it (my DH and his brother have biblical names) oh everyone will call him gabby

it hasnt put us off it one little bit, and although were open to suggestions its still our fave

we now tell everyone were calling him Mamaduke

Umlellala · 08/07/2008 12:33

My mum hates our choice of name for ds-to-be. But she has had to get used to it. She didn't really like dd's name either. I agree, think she is trying to worm it out of you...

PS sending lots of 'baby out' vibes to you... (in the hope they'll bounce back to me too! although I'm not even due for another week )

FabioTheWhisperingCat · 08/07/2008 12:36

I think I would point out she's had her turn at naming a baby already - did anyone say they hated your name, F&Z, and how did she feel about that?