My mother thinks that me being 40 weeks pg (ie when we have already CHOSEN names and are just waiting for the baby) is a good time to.....

[FrannyandZooey]

...tell me various names and even TYPES of names (eg "I can't stand all this old fashioned Mabel business") that she doesn't like

I tried to shut her up and pointed out that in literally a few days I will be telling her the name of her new grandchild and if it turns out to be Mabel etc she will feel rather awkward

she said no she won't, because she knows we won't have picked anything like that, because she has already said that she doesn't like them

I said I wasn't actually keeping a list of what names everyone disliked and that funnily enough dp and I had picked names that WE liked

she says she won't feel awkward anyway, she thinks it is funny

the thought that it might be upsetting for ME in any way obviously not crossed the old mind

yes I am being precious but are these sensible or kind things to say to an overdue pregnant woman?

btw the type of girls name we like is definitely the Mabel sort So I am not just being hypothetical

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In my mother's case I think she feels she has to make a comment, but doesn't put any thought behind what she's saying.

Like 'you're not going to call the baby x, y or z are you.' Knowing damn well that with ds1 we had considered name z.

Or her favourite 'are you sure you're not carrying twins?' I'm not that fecking big ffs! ggrrrrr

I just let it wash over me otherwise I'll say something rude. Infact, why don't I say something rude? She seems to think it's ok to.

Rise above it ILTMIMI, rise above it .....

You know part of the problem is that the girls name dp likes most is VERY Mabel indeed, in fact it is a kind of uber Mabel, and while I really like it, I have not been 100% convinced about it and am dithering rather

I really wanted to make my OWN decision and not be swayed by anyone else, so have not discussed with anyone
I know I am going to find it hard to ignore this comment from my mother

you have to at least tell her it's Mabel even if a) it isn't or b) it's a boy.

no the REAL names will piss her off much more than Mabel, believe me

[chortle]

But imagine her face when you say "It's Mabel!.... No, don't be silly, I'm only joking... hahaha... it's actually "

We just tell everyone the baby will be Vladimir or Wanda. Shuts 'em up.

but Wanda is the name we like

aw, not really

this kind of thread is a minefield though, isn't it?

Well I rather like Wanda but everyone would pronounce it with a W unlike this amazing woman

And Vlad goes rather well with our surname

we have gone for more boring names though (am sure someone will hate them, but hey)

MamaG - my grandmother died when I was 8mths preg with my dd. My mother (it was her mil) said "as one goes out, one comes in".

I think it was so shocked I just howled.

My parents and inlaws all thought my DS1's name was really weird. And there was a bit of "the baby" and "the Child" but then he was 1st born grandchild on both sides. My mum said, "I shall call him Jock" half-jokingly. We pushed on and now everyone calls him by his lovely lovely name.

With DS2 we chickened out of Digory and went for something more normal thanks to parental/peer pressure. I rather regret it tho.

My sensible brother and SIL are just telling everyone their forthcoming spawn will be called Viennetta. Girl or boy.

Franny I think your mother has forgotten that you are due to give birth any day now and that she will shortly know the name regardless of her opinion.

After all you don't look pregnant from the back. It would be very easy for her to forget the imminent arrival of her grandchild.

[hides]

Fimbo - my mum died when DD1 was 2 weeks old.

One in, one out was used at the time.

Franny - call YOUR baby what YOU want to call him/her.

My Mum did this too. Asked what our names were, we said we'd chosen but would rather keep it quiet. She then proceeded to tell me the kind of names she liked and would find acceptable.

I told her she would have absolutely no influence whatsoever on proceedings.

You and DH need to announce "We have pretty much decided on naming the baby after the day she is born, just like Nicole Kidman did, or perhaps a fruit. You know how I like fruit. Tuesday Peach sounds nice, don't you think?"

My friend's PIL said, "You know, I wont be too upset if you don't name the baby Murray or William"

I love old fashioned names, they are great.I think Martha is lovely.

Our mum's generation feel they are old fashioned and have not noticed that they are actually really popular at the moment. They will catch up eventually

What are your fave names then, FandZ? Come on....you can tell UsssssssSSSSSSSSS

Why don't you say, well we hadn't thought about Mabel, but since you have mentioned it we have thought about it and fallen in love with it as a name. That way she will stop telling you about names she doesn't like. Actually I suspect there is nothing you can do in truth, but grin and bear it and try not to get too wound up. Hopefully your baby will arrive really soon and then you can name it whatever you like.

Mothers seem to think that because you are their daughter, they can say what they like to you. When we announced what we were going to call our son three months ago, her immediate reaction was, 'you're not!' We were so excited about his birth and his name, so it was a real blow. She even started to put me off the name as I wanted her to approve. But dh and I love the name, and feel happy that we chose it without asking anyone's opinion - and I think my mum is coming round to it now anyway. And if she's not - tough!

i told my mom we liked names x and y. she said "oh i love the name Y! your sister has a nephew called y. i don't really like x." any guesses on what we called him?

mothers are a pain in the arse.

i love the way that gps think they have some kind of say in the matter you would have thought they might have cottoned on to how likely they are to push us in the other direction. it was mostly fil's "over my dead body" reaction to felix that kept it in the running so long.

as we were honestly undecided for weeks with dd2 i did actually mention to my mum what we were considering. the middle name was a real placeholder suggestion but she went on about how much she liked it and lo and behold a few days later a card from one of her friends arrived with the full name including placeholder. guess which way that swung us...

Tell you mum you are naming the baby after his/her paternal grandmother, just to teach her a lesson.

Thankfully, my mother never did anything like this. She probably knows I wouldn't listen anyway.