Is it unusual to choose a name outside your heritage?

[Zarry]

Do you think it's common to use a name that's not of your (or your spouse's) heritage? I'm currently eyeing a very beautiful Italian name for DC. We don't have any connection to Italy, but that hasn't stopped me loving the name. Our surname is Irish, but we live in England. I have worried if extremely Italian first name + extremely Irish surname (think something similar to Giovanni O'Brien or Alessandra McCarthy) would sound like something out of an odd comedy to others. Then there will surely be the inevitable questions about why we've gone with this name.

Maybe I'm overthinking (which I tend to do with decisions). Just looking to see what the general consensus is.

I think it’s a bit cringe, I can’t really explain why though. Sorry.

I don't think it's wrong or a problem, as long as your DC can spell it, and it doesn't have an horrendous pronunciation that no one can say.

Lots of common names are used in the UK that aren’t British or Irish - Juliette, Amelia, Jacqueline, Alexander, Leo, Eli, etc. and nobody bats an eyelid. If it’s a name you love then go for it

I do think it depends on the name as the previous poster says. Depends how much it or a similar name has been adopted by others

I think you should avoid any name that prompts the same question or assumption every time. “Is your family Italian?” “Did your parents like Game of Thrones?””How do you spell that?” And so on. It gets very tedious after the first 20 years.

I think that would be very odd, especially with the Irish surname.

I had a colleague whose parents did exactly this - picked a name from a random culture they had nothing to do with, in this case one of the Scandinavian countries. She was forever having to explain that, no, she wasn’t from there and there was no reason for her to have been given this incredibly random name.

You might say names are names and you can pick whatever you like, but I’m sure she wished her parents had picked something else.

I think it would be ok for some names and not for others. For example, I know a Lucia and no one bats an eyelid because it's common enough in the UK. But I also know a Christophe and he gets asked constantly if he's French (he's not).

Edited to add: I think the examples you give are a bit "too" Italian.

Depends on how niche the name/culture is. Many people around the world have an English name - especially in Asia - when that’s not their heritage. But choosing a Choktaw or Igbo name when you’re White British might raise eyebrows.

Of your examples I think Alessandra would be fine as it’s close to an Anglo name and most Brits have Roman blood somewhere back there. Giovanni will be asked if they’re Italian all the time. So pick one that’s somewhat familiar.

My children have

Greek
French
Germanic
And Irish.

As their first name. Dh and I are None of those.

As the greek and germanic names are more commonly known in the UK they never get a mention people just accept them

French name is regulalry mispronounced (said with an e ending not the a ending)

Irish. Well people often dont know how to pronounce it. They often cant spell it however dd3(Aoife) is in her 20s. I can cont on my fingers how many times we have been asked id we were Irish. Something thar according to MN will happen ALL the time.. in truth I have found it encourages conversations about the name and we usually get told how beautiful it is.

I think we ultimately have to give our children names that we love. If you love Giovanni (for example) then go for it and prehaps take the few comments on why. But people adjust and just learn the names. The wider world is becoming better at realising there are so many ways of naming out there we are leaning how to accept the more different pronunciations. I think that is possitive.

I wouldn't be outraged or call it cultural appropriation as very few traditional British names have British roots. That said I would find being constantly asked if I have "xyz heritage" and having to explain that my parents just liked the name quite irritating.

Your location within England may play a part. Where I live in Greater London pretty much anything goes and no one would bat an eyelid.

It’s not something I would do but it’s not wrong. I just have weird boundaries about this stuff. Every stage of choosing ds’s name was so meaningful to me and was all about connection with family and culture. But that’s me. Choose the name you love.

I mean, most people will probably just assume that the child does have Italian heritage and not say anything. I can't say that I've ever questioned why anyone has a certain name. A name would have to really stand out for me to do so. I've seen British first names paired with Indian surnames, British first names paired with Polish surnames, French first names paired with Irish surnames, etc. It doesn't shock me when names do not 'match'. I actually believe that it's less common for them to be of the same origin.

While I don't think people will demand an explanation, and probably presume the family is Italian Irish, there's something a bit cringe about pretending to be? Not sure. You literally get to pick any name, any, when you name a child, I'm not sure why you'd want to make it edgy or awkward if you can avoid it.

I just think it’s a bit pretentious.

When I lived in Italy, one of the exceedingly popular baby names at the time was ‘Kevin’. My neighbour proposed it as an option for her baby and I had to try desperately to keep a straight face.

I would expect questions oh you’re Italian!! A lot.

I don't think it's weird at all, but I'm also the sort of person that couldn't care less about the meanings and backgrounds of names. I couldn't tell you what the names of my children mean because it's not something that we prioritised whilst choosing their names.

Alessandra rather than Alexander is cringeworthy if you aren’t Italian, it’s toe curlingly pretentious.

I personally wouldn't do it but there's nothing to stop you from doing so. Your child will probably be asked if they are Italian though and that might be a bit annoying for her after a while.

Reminds me of Guiseppe Conlan. In the film he says people assume his father was Italian but in reality his mother just loved the name. Do what you want.

There are some Italian and Mediterranean names that are fairly common in Ireland. Maybe not Giovanni, because that one has clear English and Irish equivalents that people used instead, but names like Jacinta, Imelda, Marina, Dolores and Bosco aren't particularly unusual in Ireland among the older generations, because of Catholic saints and religious connections with those names. And of course there are names like Gemma, Lucia, Sofia and Francesca, which would have been considered Italian/Mediterranean a few generations ago but are now regularly found in Ireland and the UK, among people of various backgrounds. Also an Italian friend told me that Walter is a fairly common name in Italy, which I would never have guessed.

What I'm trying to illustrate is that what we consider an "English" name vs (e.g.) an "Italian" name or a "French" name is not fixed but is constantly shifting. So, honestly, I don't think it's a big deal to use a name that's outside of your heritage, especially one from another European culture. If the name is easy to spell and pronounce in English (not Guglielmo or Salvatrice for example) and doesn't have any negative connotations that would make it burdensome or problematic in England, then why not?

Am I mad for thinking that Giovanni O'Brien actually has a nice flow to it? 🤔

I think Nico O'Reilly sounds really nice when they say it in commentary!

Italian names are quite trendy now, if it's reasonably commonplace (Luca, Matteo, Marco, Enzo etc) I wouldn't see an issue. I remember a teacher asking a girl in my class called Francesca if she was Italian- but that's not unusual really.

I think it depends how far outside your own heritage it is. A lot of my favourite names are French, which I think are OK, but it would be odd to choose (for example) a Japanese or Maori name unless that was your heritage.