Ralph pronounced Rafe, are we setting ourselves up for a lifetime of correcting pronunciation?

[WelshTash]

We love the name Rafe but have recently found out the correct spelling of this is Ralph. My concern is, if we name our son Ralph he will forever be mispronounced as “Ralf”. We wanted to avoid a name that required constant correcting.

I wondered if a formal name of Rafael / Raphael, but a “known as” Rafe, is a better approach than Ralph? I want Rafe to be more than a nickname though.

I wondered if anyone with a Rafe or, a Ralph pronounced “Rafe”, could offer us their experience?

Ralph-pronounced-as-Rafe is a posh person thing isn't it?
Might be.
Like pronouncing 'almonds' as 'ahmonds',
Can't say I'm bothered how people say it.

or the surname Cholmondeley as Chumley
It is 'Chumley'.
, or StJohn as Sinjin?
Depends on the person. Ian St John was 'Ian Saint John'. Norman St John-Stevas was 'Norman Sinjun-Stevas'

So I would find it extremely grating to be corrected - it would be like being told off for being a peasant That's a you problem, would you find it grating if Maya's mother said 'She's May-a not My-a'?

It’s not so much posh, if by that you mean upper class, as dated. It’s got historic, old English origins. But your son could choose how he pronounces his own name.

Yes, Prince Harry is a Henry.

Yes. My neighbour’s dog is Ralph, pronounced Ralf, not Ralph, pronounced Rafe.

I think Ralph Lauren and Disney’s Wreck-it-Ralph (yes, American) have found their way into the collective consciousness.
Added to the fact that these strange pronunciations of names just AREN’T LOGICAL,

I actually know two St Johns. But if I didn’t know them I wouldn’t have known about the pronunciation and I’ve read Jane Eyre

I heard an interview with Ralph Fiennes the other day where he mentioned that, if he could go back in time, he'd use Rafe as his working name because so many people get it wrong.

Rafe is a name. Just use that if that's what you want.

Yes, it's confusing and very pretentious.

Me too and I've never connected it to class or "poshness." None of my very working class family have ever pronounced the L.

Unless you’re baiting, which in itself isn’t very nice, I would assume that you are a snob…

The name Ralph is one of those little treats of the English language. Yes, the correct pronunciation is Rafe. If you go with a different spelling, we risk consigning to history the correctly pronounced Ralph!

I didn’t know anyone in the UK pronounced the L, it is more an American thing.

Any Ralph’s I’ve known have pronounced their name R-a-l-f. It wouldn’t dawn on me to pronounce it Rafe.

Just spell it Rafe! It’s a lovely name. I know one. I don’t know any Ralphs.

I would go for Raphael nn Rafe

If you name them Ralph that’s how they will say it. If you want him to be called Rafe, call him Rafe.

That ship has sailed.

AHHLmunds is my pet peeve. 🙄

It’s not the ‘correct’ spelling, it’s just the more traditional spelling. Our son is Ralph pronounced ‘rafe’. We see various spelling of it a lot (it’s suddenly become a lot more popular since he was born!). Yes people who don’t know us get his name wrong all the time. We expected it when we chose the name so don’t have any issue with it (they get our French surname wrong all the time too, and my Scottish maiden name always confused people). I always said if he prefers to pronounce it ralf when he’s older, I’m fine with that. He’s 6 now and has had no problem correcting people since he was around 4. Just do what you like 🙂

I knew a boy at University called “Sinjin”. He had a cut glass English accent and had been to boarding school. Coming from fairly humble origins and being a bit of a social climber I was quite excited to be meeting a genuine posh boy. Then I found out his Mum was Korean and he spelled it Seun-jin 🤣.

I would just spell it Rafe. You're right that rayf is the traditional pronunciation of Ralph in England (like Ralph Fiennes) but the ralf pronunciation (which was originally American or continental) has become widespread because of mass media. It's like pronouncing Maria as Mariah - yes that is the traditional English pronunciation of Maria from the 18th-19th century, but at the same time hardly anyone uses it anymore, so the Mariah spelling is used instead.

How are you pronouncing Graham?

The normal way? Please don't pretend you say it 'gray ham'.

Ralph IS pronounced Rafe but since so many people are not onboard with that I’d just default Rafe I guess.

I know quite a few little boy Ralph’s. They are all pronounced Ralf. I didn’t know Rafe was a possible pronunciation, I would automatically say Ralf. I have a name that has a common pronunciation that is different to how my name is pronounced. I spent my childhood constantly correcting people and sometimes being told I was wrong about my own name. I now go by a nickname which I don’t particularly like but it’s easier. If you want it pronounced Rafe (which is a lovely name) then spell it how you want it pronounced. It’ll be much easier for your son!