Ralph pronounced Rafe, are we setting ourselves up for a lifetime of correcting pronunciation?

[WelshTash]

We love the name Rafe but have recently found out the correct spelling of this is Ralph. My concern is, if we name our son Ralph he will forever be mispronounced as “Ralf”. We wanted to avoid a name that required constant correcting.

I wondered if a formal name of Rafael / Raphael, but a “known as” Rafe, is a better approach than Ralph? I want Rafe to be more than a nickname though.

I wondered if anyone with a Rafe or, a Ralph pronounced “Rafe”, could offer us their experience?

Not forgetting St Clare as Sinclair!

Harry is the traditional English diminutive of Harold, surely?!

And Rolph Harris hasn’t helped. Seedy and utterly sordid, the details of his sex crime.

Just spell it Rafe and then no-one will get it wrong.

No definitely Henry.

same with jack being the diminutive of John
Molly/Mary etc.

Really? I guess I read Jane Eyre for GCSE so learnt it there.

I have a Rafe, we had the same thought process. I was well aware that a standard spelling for the name we want is Ralph, but didn’t want to set DS up for a lifetime of correcting people, particularly with the newfound popularity of Ralph pronounced “Ralf” in the UK.

But the thing many MN posters seem unaware of is Rafe IS a long-established spelling of this name. It’s not a modern, phonetic spelling used by dummies, but was established in the 17th century. Yes, a century or two later than the Ralph variant, but still a perfectly traditional option?

Nobody seems to argue like this over Eleanor and Elinor — they’re both perfectly acceptable. It’s the same imo. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks! I thought Harry was from Harold. Had no idea it was a form of Henry (thought the two were quite separate). Every day’s a school day.

Spell it Rafe. Be a loving parent.

Why not call the child Raphe, to eliminate confusion?

It would never occur to me to pronounce Ralph as anything other than ‘ralf’ (to rhyme with the first syllable of ‘alpha’)

@dontletmedownbruce , usually Henry.

‘God for Harry, England, and Saint George!’

Yes, really. The absolute overwhelming majority of the British population will not know that St John is pronounced that way as a name. Quite obviously that would be the case.

You'd probably want to look up the definition of raphe before naming a child that.

I only learned about St John as a child as I used to read my gran’s old books, which were full of Sinjins and Sinclairs and Chumleys doing very wholesome things.

I watched Ralph McTell on tv as a kid, then graduated to Ralph Malph when I got older, so it takes me a minute to 'translate' when I see Ralph pronounced Rafe.

But I live near Cambridge so I'm constantly annoyed at the nobby way posh people try and weed out the 'not like us' by randomly choosing to pronounce things weirdly just so they can scoff at the plebs who don't know what the toff-agreed pronunciation is. 😡

I would assume Ralph was pronounced Rafe, and if I saw you’d use Rafe as a spelling I’d assume you didn’t know any better.

Agreed. Posts like this on Mumsnet are always full of people mock flabbergasted that someone would “mispronounce” Ralph, or not know how to say St John 🙄

But it isn’t mocking or being flabberghasted. We all go to school. We all have access to tv, books, social media etc and generally these things come up.

Pretty much most people of the over 30s have heard of Ralph Fiennes. He’s a well known actor so most people have come across that pronunciation.

In terms of St John, some people have mentioned four weddings and funeral, I mentioned Jane eyre (a GCse text I studied). These things just tend to come up from time to time . We all know how to pronounce Leicester, for instance.
In the most part, once told once if we can’t pronounce something we never forget.

That's the book!!!! 👏
I mentioned that Ralph in my post, but couldn't remember the book. 😅

Its rare that I hear anyone say Ralph Fiennes out loud. But I definitely hear "Ralf" more often then "Rafe"
For a while I thoight there was another brother. Ralph (Ralf), Joseph and Ray. Because Rafe Fiennes sounds like Ray Fiennes.

Unless they have seen Four Weddings and a Funeral where one of the brides corrects the vicar. There was an MP with the name a while back as well.

I didn’t say mocking. I said mock flabbergasted. I know how both are “supposed” to be pronounced, but I know full well that the vast majority of people would not know St John is “Sinjin”. Of course they wouldn’t know.

Ralph-pronounced-as-Rafe is a posh person thing isn't it? Like pronouncing 'almonds' as 'ahmonds', or the surname Cholmondeley as Chumley, or StJohn as Sinjin?

So I would find it extremely grating to be corrected - it would be like being told off for being a peasant.

So I'd go with Rafe, which is a lovely name, or Raphael, also lovely.

Like pronouncing 'almonds' as 'ahmonds',

My absolute pet peeve is people pronouncing almonds with the ‘L’. Drives me to distraction.

I know.