Why are nicknames so expected now?

[Alltheladies]

Why are nicknames so popular now? It feels like every new baby that is being born in the 2020s is expected to have a nickname. In my experience, as soon as you announce the baby’s name, someone instantly asks what you’re going to be calling them or starts suggesting nicknames (even when you haven’t implied that you’d like to call them something else). Even many parents seem to be more interested in and focused on potential nicknames rather than the actual name.

This thread was inspired by the fact that I had someone ask me if our Charlotte is going to be a Charlie or a Lottie. When I was a child, there were many kids who exclusively went by their full names. What has caused this societal change?

I think it’s mainly the people who didn’t have a nickname/shortening as children and remember desperately wanting one. I do agree that it’s become slightly excessive. I’ve seen people suggest Annie and Millie as shortenings for Andrea and Camille. These names aren’t even cumbersome to say or particularly long. Why would they automatically need to be shortened?

I think it’s just personal preference. There are still plenty of children who go by there full names. My nearly 3 year old son has a name that is often shortened but he’s only ever called his first name. People have asked me before if they can call him the shortened version and I’ve said no because nobody calls him that and he won’t answer to it. People usually just accept that answer and use his full name. Though I have had one person who ran a toddler group and kept calling my son the shortened version. My son just completely ignored him every time because he’s never been called that and has no idea that it’s supposed to be his name

I think it's always been a thing and if you have a longer name that might have different versions, people will ask

I think it's just a current trend. These things come and go. I think in my Grandparents' era absolutely everyone went by a nickname or their middle name (often because their actual first name was the same as their Dad). Then it died out a bit and now it's back.

It can be a bit annoying if you want to use the full version of a name that is easy to shorten though because you will be fighting a losing battle.

I think it’s partly that horrible concept ‘cute’ which as far as I can see just translates to twee after the age of about 5.

No this has always been a thing with long names. What’s more frequent these days is just calling kids the nickname as their full name, rather than the longer version. Eg Nicky, Teddy, Alex, Lottie, Charlie as the whole first name.

Lots of people of my parents era went by shorter versions, Dave, Chris, Mick etc. lots of my grandparents age went by their middle name. I just think now people decide on it earlier.

I agree it’s weird OP. If you want your child to be called Millie, then just put Millie on their birth certificate. IMO nicknames are supposed to evolve naturally, I find it odd when they are forced.

I was having this conversation the other day with a friend who likes Teddy for a boy. Very cute for a baby, not so much as a teen and not at all for an adult. The same with Millie, Alfie, Alvie, Evie type names. Give a full name that gives them the option to shorten if they want.

I think the OP is talking about how it seems as though people are trying to find a nickname to use for every single name. Some names (Jacqueline, Alexander, Theodore, Elizabeth, etc.) have always had common nicknames, but a lot of names have always just been the full name until recently.

I never assume but would ask you if she always goes by Charlotte. I teach.

I’ve got a long name & have used most of the short versions at various times (except for the cutesy ones), before going back to the whole thing as an adult. It’s fun to have the choices.

I’ve noticed the opposite. I go to baby groups with Alexander, Peter, Harriet, Thomas, Benedict, Isabella, Joseph, Josephine, Elizabeth, Edward, Annabelle, Georgina, William, Matthew etc. But I went to school with, and my parents friends are Tom, Ben, Jackie, Danny, Sue, Liz, Andy, Pat, Dave, Mike, Deb, Will, Matt, Becky, Chris, Tim, Vicky, Steve, Steph, Gill and so on. I’m not sure what happens at school age, because these kids are still tiny. I don’t think asking if someone is planning on a diminutive for Charlotte is strange, because there’s two very widely used ones. I know someone who hated Charlie so used Lottie from the start to try to stop it. Another friend of mine switched to Lottie at uni because she’d always wanted to be Lottie and took the new start to do it.

I teach secondary. At that point parents have zero control over what they want to be called! That said, I never shorten a student’s name unless they specifically tell me it’s what they prefer.

I totally agree. It feels like they’re being forced. Why can’t Rachel just be Rachel? Why does Rachel have to be shortened to Rae? Why can’t Evelyn just be Evelyn? Why does Evelyn have to be shortened to Evie?

I have a strong feeling that it has something to do with parents nowadays wanting cutesy names. All you hear about is how ‘cute’ a name sounds.

I don't think it's new. I'm in my 60s and have a name that has a huge number of shorter versions/nicknames. I've never been known by any of them. Friends at school attempted to use the one I hate the most and I just refused to answer it.

It was strange of that person to assume that a Charlotte is going to go by either Charlie or Lottie and ask which one it’ll be. Many choose to just go by Charlotte.

Isn't this how names like Lottie, Lola, Charlie, Coco, Carla etc came about in the first place? People historically shortening longer names, the person is commonly known by that name, then perhaps the next gen is named after that person but only given the short version and overtime that becomes a name in its own right rather than always being called the long version but using the shortened one in every day/familiar settings.

Sure the same would have happened in reverse. After a generation of Lotties and Charlie's perhaps people reverted back to Charlotte/Elizabeth and so the cycle continues.

I don't think it's a new phenomenon to ask if the baby would have a familiar name or go by the one on their birth certificate 🤷🏼‍♀️

People will get used to it. Have a friend with an Isabella, many people called her Izzy or Bella in the early days only to be firmly told she was Isabella and there would be no shortenings. She's 9 now and very much still Isabella at least among the grown ups!

What on earth are you on about OP? I was born mid 80s, unless your name was very short (in which case it was inevitably lengthened) people went by shortened versions or nicknames. My mum chose my name due to its variety of nicknames to grow with me. Plus parents or friends gave people nicknames completely unrelated to their names. How many grandparents/great grandparents are/were known as names very different to their borth certificates? Popular names in particular have always resulted in nicknames in order to differentiate between people.

My question is why do parents feel they have the roght to be so precious over the name they decided to bestow on their offspring? It feels very controlling to me.

In my experience, if a name has common nicknames or is long, it will be shortened or a nickname will be used, and the only way to ensure you get your preferred nickname for your child is to use it yourself.

All charlottes I know have been called Char, Charlie, or Lottie by their peers at school, even if their parents prefer the full name, but generally unless you (as parents) pick to use a nickname, it’ll be the one that comes easily from the first syllable. Eg Elizabeth’s tend to naturally be shorten to Liz unless you introduce her as Beth.

Don’t be like my MIL who named one of her DS’s Jonathan and then spent his school years being annoyed all his friends called him Jon or Jonny.

I have a 4 syllable name which I shortened to a 2 syllable one in my early teens.

Everyone now calls me the 2 syllable name plus bongo on the end 🤪

Sometimes nicknames just find you

I'm early 30's and I have never met a single person who planned a nickname for their baby 😅

All the people / kids I know with nicknames just evolved over time

My DS is 9 and his nickname is Brian, this stemmed from when he was around 5 or 6 n told the staff his name for a bowling board and they got it wrong and put Brian on the board 🤣

This has hit the nail on the head. Its all about cute names. My boys both have names which really cant be shortened and have no nicknames and I get endless comments about what serious names they have and that people hope they grow into their names.

Nicknames at a later stage are usually given by peers, aren't they?
DS 1 is Alexander, was always Alexander through school, to the point where other kids in the class would tell new teachers he was definitely an "Alexander " if they tried to "Alex" him. Has become Alex as and older teenager.
DS 2 didn't want a nickname, but has somehow become " Larry" to his peers in late Primary.

I hate it, but it's his choice. 🤷‍♀️🤣

It feels more controlling and inflexible to plan a child’s nickname/diminutive before birth. I know someone who is insistent on a certain diminutive for her child because she hates the other common diminutive for the full name that she gave her child.