Advice re names - totally unable to agree

[Floam6]

Hi all, I’m really sorry as this is one of a few posts on this but my husband and I just cannot agree on a name for our nearly 3 week old daughter and I just really don’t know what to do but it’s making me feel unbelievably low and sad. On top of that, everyone keeps asking me what she is called and I feel ashamed she doesn’t have a name yet and as if we just can’t be bothered so I am avoiding people. And I am starting to panic as we are no closer to a solution and the deadline is getting closer.

He is very set on a few names which I just don’t like (Madeleine, Delphine, Clarissa, Fleur, Gabrielle). I just don’t like them at all and would prefer something softer. I suggested names for months and months during the pregnancy but he wasn’t particularly interested although he said he didn’t like my options. I like Phoebe, Clara, Sophie, Isobel/Isabella (although it is a siblings middle name so doesn’t bother me but perhaps not sensible), Lucy. I just don’t know how we resolve this but I am feeling so upset and worried.

Is he actually just refusing to compromise so he can get his own way? I’ve no time for that. Does the child have his surname? Did he go through labour and recovery? If he won’t compromise I’d just nip on down to the registry office and choose what I wanted.

How on earth can be like Clarissa but not compromise with Clara?

What about Lucille but always called Lucy?

My DH really liked a name I wasn’t keen on. I didn’t hate it, just didn’t love it. It really suits him and a few other people chose it for their kids. Ironically we both call him different nicknames. Agree on something you both don’t hate and is easy to spell (I have an unusual name that’s hard to spell).

Either do as the first poster suggested or:
You each pick 5 names.
If you can’t agree on any name you each remove 2 names from the others list so you are left with 6 names.
You then each rank these names allocating 6 points to your top name and so on. The one with the highest marks is her name. Don't use a middle name as you can’t agree.
If your dh refuses to compromise this way then tell him you will go and register her alone and it will be solely a bane of your choice.

Clarice
Holly
Darcy
Giselle
Elena
Bracken
Persephone

The OP has at least 4 threads on the go and in one of them she explicitly says she is looking to separate from her DH.

@CutePixieGirl , such a patronising post. It's you and your crappy emoticon that are laughable.

No, it absolutely isn’t.

Couple can’t decide on a name so obviously a mental health crisis. I mean, come on!

And ‘suspicious of men’ who have an opinion on a name. why shouldn’t a father have an opinion on his child’s name, exactly?

You’re clearly 11 years old.

someone might know the name but there's an app where you swipe left and right (on names, not new partners!!) and you link your accounts and it shows up anything you agree on. so he can't say no just to annoy you, cos you don't know it's a match until you both say yes. there's so many names on there, from all genres .

Do any of your husbands names as nicknames work for you? Ie Gigi, Maddie etc. That could be a good compromise.
or vice versa for him.

also agree Clara is a great compromise (and a beautiful name!)

You both need to find a way to compromise on this stuff otherwise the next couple of decades are going to be tough.

@CutePixieGirl Certainly not. I'm pointing out that people won't say it with the French pronunciation.

Thanks for all the kind comments all. I think I’ll need to agree to Olivia which was the only matching one on our ‘like’ lists. I’m sad and emotional as it isn’t one of my favourites which I so wanted and I know it isn’t as important to my husband, and I think hormones and sleep deprivation don’t help, and it’s obviously a very popular name. I’m sure I’ll get used to it though. Thank you again.

I'm sorry you're feeling so low. For what it's worth I think Olivia is a beautiful name, and it's popular for a reason! Can you at least use one of your names as a middle name? Olivia Phoebe sounds really nice.

Clarissa is similar to Clara?

He doesn't like short, popular classics or anything too 'obvious'. You don't like overly feminine, longer names.
There is definitely middle ground to be found.
Try and let go of Clara - maybe you wouldn't feel quite so attached to it if it weren't so unavailable.

Clara and Fleur are both lovely names and could easily be sisters. I'm sure you can find something along these lines that you agree on.

Zara
Shara
Anya
Freya
Laurel
Pearl
Ivy
Chloe
Sofia
Saskia
Sasha
Noelle
Hollie
Anabel
Imogen
Amelie
Emilia
Anaïs
Louisa
Esme
Charlotte
Sylvie

Olivia is a beautiful name, and if it's the one you use I hope you grow to love it. Olivia seems to me to have the feel of a proud and almost regal name!

I'm sorry for the lowness that you are feeling, and wish you well.

Why not Clarissa with nickname Clara?

I also really like the name Olivia

I much prefer Gabriella to Gabrielle, and you could naturally call baby Ella!

Sorry, only just seen your update. I think Olivia is a beautiful name and was on our list for if DS was a girl. Although it’s supposed to be popular, I’ve not met a baby Olivia.

Olivia is sweet. Make sure you give her your favourite name as a second name. That is fair.

If you like Olivia how about Olive?
Also do you like the nickname Delphie if you was to agree to Delphine?
If he like Clarissa and can’t see why he doesn’t like Clara. Clara is lovely

You grew, carried and delivered her; you get to name her. Don’t let him bully you. Especially if you’re going to separate.