Advice re names - totally unable to agree

[Floam6]

Hi all, I’m really sorry as this is one of a few posts on this but my husband and I just cannot agree on a name for our nearly 3 week old daughter and I just really don’t know what to do but it’s making me feel unbelievably low and sad. On top of that, everyone keeps asking me what she is called and I feel ashamed she doesn’t have a name yet and as if we just can’t be bothered so I am avoiding people. And I am starting to panic as we are no closer to a solution and the deadline is getting closer.

He is very set on a few names which I just don’t like (Madeleine, Delphine, Clarissa, Fleur, Gabrielle). I just don’t like them at all and would prefer something softer. I suggested names for months and months during the pregnancy but he wasn’t particularly interested although he said he didn’t like my options. I like Phoebe, Clara, Sophie, Isobel/Isabella (although it is a siblings middle name so doesn’t bother me but perhaps not sensible), Lucy. I just don’t know how we resolve this but I am feeling so upset and worried.

I don't know how he can hate Clara but love Clarissa?!

and will be Jizz-elle.

I was about to say the same as @LighthouseLED - Clara and Clarissa seem really similar to me and I'm surprised you can't agree on one of them. How about Cara, Claudia or Carla?

I thought that too! They begin with the first 4 letters. Clara is a much nicer name though!

Is it really about the names or is something else going on? I haven't seen your other posts except one but a lot of people have to compromise on a name as they don't agree with their partner (I did). You'll love it because it's your child's name. Some lovely names in the middle that are soft but grand so match your styles might be Eloise, Margot, Elise, Genevieve, Adeline. I think you also suggested Beatrice which is lovely. You'll find one.

Is he French? His name choices mostly are, so you could see if there are French names you like - he gets the theme, you get the specific name. Juliette, Amelie?

Don't you like the nicknames for his choices, I would have thought Maddie aligned with your style.

There must be an accent thing going on though as I my accent, his choices are much softer in sound than yours.

Wondering if there is some mental health / relationship issue here sadly. DH would essentially have agreed to any name I suggested I was the one that had given birth. This feels the right dynamic. Admit am suspicious of men that feel so strongly about this.

Op don’t just agree with one of his as you’ll regret forever. This isn’t deciding what takeaway or movie it’s there for life.

Clara is lovely.

They can't agree on a name and you jump to that? 😂 Laughable.

Another suggestion: Elise

@DinoDances , @TheaBrandt1

Can I register our baby without my husbands agreement?
223 replies
Floam6 · 10/12/2025 10:25
My husband and I have a new baby. However we aren’t in a great place and are likely to separate for various reasons. We cannot agree on the baby’s name and I would like to go ahead and register her but wondered if I am able to do this legally and what the repercussions are? Thank you

Please rate our names…
21 replies
Floam6 · 17/12/2025 16:55
They aren’t my favourites but those have all been vetoed sadly so will need to compromise. I am ok with popularity as our baby needs a name…thanks

There are other threads by OP.

I think Clarissa known as Clara is the best way to go, especially given the update above that you are likely to separate soon?! Or else forget those names above as neither of you can agree and choose something else. You have both ruled out names the other had chosen. My OH would've let me choose any name after seeing me give birth but there's no way I would've picked a name I knew he vetoed!

Just go to the registry office and call her what you like, he is being a shit and .aking your life miserable during the post birth phase, just get it done and leave him to grumble about it, ignore him.

@CutePixieGirl , The OP has got red flags waving all over. Reading between the lines, the 'DH' is vetoing for the sake of it.

She sounds scared of him and has just given birth. Doesn’t sound particularly funny to me 🙄

Would you consider something that isn't on your list, but fits with your classic name theme? Colette or Cosette spring to mind. Or Matilda?

I agree with Phoebe Madeleine - gorgeous!

Tell him you grew and birthed the baby and he can pick her middle name.

and deep down he’s not so bothered about having a name he likes, but more about not having a name I like.
(from another thread by OP)

You're the poster who asked if you can register your child without DHs agreement? (Your DH sounds likes an arsehole to be honest!)

I know you're probably feeling quite fraught right now, hence all the posts. Don't be bullied into using a name you don't like and when you feel stronger and more able make sure you make a healthy decision about the relationship. Quote below was from another one of your threads.

However we aren’t in a great place and are likely to separate for various reasons

He refuses your names and you hate his. Is there anything he will "permit" that you like?

Am I right in that he won't even let you pick the middle name?

Er - not really. It's about a woman who is jilted and dies of a broken heart, and her spirit joins the Willis, the ghosts of vengeful women who were betrayed and died before their wedding day.

Not all that much romance in that one!

It is considered one of the 'romantic' ballets though. Not sure why.😂

I think there is something very romantic about tragic love! Giselle falls in love with Albrecht and dies of a broken heart! It’s like Romeo and Juliet is a tragic romantic play.

I don’t think you can go for a name either of you hate so you may need to go back to the drawing board. We have used kinder app the last 2 kids and found it helpful which you could try if haven’t already. some suggestions perhaps which might meet in the middle?

matilda
eloise
lucia
cora
florence
helena
rosalie
thea
annabelle
beatrice
penelope
ophelia
cecily
leonie
daphne
felicity
seraphina
juliet
martha

If he likes Clarissa and you like Clara, can’t you go for Clarissa with nn Clara?

I'm sorry for what is happening and how you are feeling. Please veto all his list as you must not give her a name you dislike. You can veto too. He is counting on you giving in to him, and sounds like a bully. Maybe not helpful advice but I would start calling her either Beatrice or Phoebe - whatever is your first choice, and when people ask you could say that her name isn't resolved yet but that you are calling her eg Beatrice, hoping that it grows on him.

I did something similar with my youngest, as he had vetoed all my loved choices for my older ones, and for once I wanted to use a name I loved. (He initially said no way to this name and refused to compromise.)